ponta's avatar
ponta

Dec. 19, 2020

0
Energy

I spent almost all of today on my club activity. I woke up early and came back to my home in the evening, so I'm tired. However, I did some workouts after getting home, and it energized me. I think activities cause tiredness but, simultaneously, energize us. If you don't any activity and only take a rest, you will be spoiled and get sick. Our energy is made by the repetition of activity and rest.

Corrections

Energy

I spent almost allbetter part of tohe day on my club activityies.

I woke up early in the morning and came back to my home in the evening, so I'm feeling pretty tired.

What you have works well. I think adding some more context around your tiredness and when you woke up completes the sentence and makes it sound less like stating a fact.

However, I did some worked outs after getting home, and it energized megave me a lot of energy.

I think activities causehaving a busy day makes you tiredness but, simultaneously, energize uss you.

I think talking using the third person `us` is a bit strange here. If you want to sound more casual, like your talking to friend, `you` seems more natural here to make a statement.

If you doaren't any activityctive in your daily life and only take a rest, you wi'll be spoiledcome weak and get sick more often.

It makes more sense to use `active` here since it's describing one's lifestyle rather than an action they do everyday, e.g. doing activities.
I think the meaning you're going for with `spoiled` is weak, but please correct me if I'm wrong. Common examples of when you'd use spoiled would be for a lazy person or child, 駄々っ子 , or if something has gone off like food.

Our energy is madene's stamina is improved by the repetition of activity and rest.

yoxecix978's avatar
yoxecix978

Dec. 19, 2020

0

おつかれさまでした!

ponta's avatar
ponta

Dec. 20, 2020

0

ありがとうございます!

Energy

I spent almost all of topretty much the entire day on my club activity.

“Almost all of today” isn’t wrong necessarily, it just doesn’t sound as natural (at least to me).

I woke up early and came back to my home in the evening, so I'm tired.

“To my” isn’t needed here because it’s automatically assumed by the reader.

However, I did some workouts after getting home, and it energized me.

I think activities cause tiredness but, simultaneously, energize us.

If you don't do any activity and only take a rest, you will be spoiled and get sick.

“You will” is often written/said as “You’ll”.

Our energy is madecreated by the repetitionprocess of activity and rest.

“Repetition” didn’t really sound right here.

Feedback

Great Job! Just a few corrections!

ponta's avatar
ponta

Dec. 20, 2020

0

Thank you so much!

Energy


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I spent almost all of today on my club activity.


I spent almost all of topretty much the entire day on my club activity.

“Almost all of today” isn’t wrong necessarily, it just doesn’t sound as natural (at least to me).

I spent almost allbetter part of tohe day on my club activityies.

I woke up early and came back to my home in the evening, so I'm tired.


I woke up early and came back to my home in the evening, so I'm tired.

“To my” isn’t needed here because it’s automatically assumed by the reader.

I woke up early in the morning and came back to my home in the evening, so I'm feeling pretty tired.

What you have works well. I think adding some more context around your tiredness and when you woke up completes the sentence and makes it sound less like stating a fact.

However, I did some workouts after getting home, and it energized me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

However, I did some worked outs after getting home, and it energized megave me a lot of energy.

I think activities cause tiredness but, simultaneously, energize us.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I think activities causehaving a busy day makes you tiredness but, simultaneously, energize uss you.

I think talking using the third person `us` is a bit strange here. If you want to sound more casual, like your talking to friend, `you` seems more natural here to make a statement.

If you don't any activity and only take a rest, you will be spoiled and get sick.


If you don't do any activity and only take a rest, you will be spoiled and get sick.

“You will” is often written/said as “You’ll”.

If you doaren't any activityctive in your daily life and only take a rest, you wi'll be spoiledcome weak and get sick more often.

It makes more sense to use `active` here since it's describing one's lifestyle rather than an action they do everyday, e.g. doing activities. I think the meaning you're going for with `spoiled` is weak, but please correct me if I'm wrong. Common examples of when you'd use spoiled would be for a lazy person or child, 駄々っ子 , or if something has gone off like food.

Our energy is made by the repetition of activity and rest.


Our energy is madecreated by the repetitionprocess of activity and rest.

“Repetition” didn’t really sound right here.

Our energy is madene's stamina is improved by the repetition of activity and rest.

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