観点

日本語を勉強するの間、僕の日本語力にの観点はずっと変えています。初めて勉強していた時で全部の日本語は難しすぎて、分からなかった文字と文保ばっかりですので自分のレベルの評価はもちろん低すぎるだと思っていました。その意見は違わないけれど、日本語の勉強する道の長さも全然分からなかったです。その知らなかった僕が、勉強し続けました。

一年半ごろの時、上記の道の長さをやっとちょっとだけ見えるようになりました。「遠い」と思いました。初めての時では「この調子で流暢な日本語に話せるようになるまではほぼ３年かな」と思いましたのに、一年半での日本語力は僕の想像の流暢な日本語力に比べれば、その時でも半分くらいのレベルではないと思っていました。恐らく、当たり前のことでした。もし一日すべての起きている時で日本語を勉強することができるなら、その短い時間で半分にペラペラになるかもしれませんですが、僕にはそのような時間がありませんでした。仕事をせずに日本語を集中するのは無理な話だけでした。

もちろん、今もです。

それに対して、初めての時の考えていた道の短さは、ただの傲慢ですか？もしくは、YouTubeより見えたの他の流暢な人のかかった時間を考えていて、道の長さに色眼鏡で見ていただけですか？

今のところ、よく覚えてないです。

今にとって、たくさんの日本語を知っています。間違いだらけ文章かもしれませんが、文章を書く（パソコンで、打つのほうが適切かもしれません）ことができます。友達と話すこともできます。にもかかわらず、自分の日本語は下手すぎるのは知っていて、もっと勉強しないといけません。このところに着くと、するべきことは他の勉強している外国人と比較するじゃなくて、むしろ日本人（ネイティブ）と比較したほうがいいと思うようになります。もちろん、ネイティブみたいに話せるようになるのは無理ですが、真実の流暢な日本語を目指すのは妥当だと思います。とはいえ、真実の流暢さの道は。。。長すぎます。

追伸：妥当だとって言ってるは思ったより楽しい。

追伸２：今回、英語に翻訳するのは思ったより大変なことになりました。

While I've been studying Japanese, my perspective on my Japanese ability has been constantly changing. When I first started studying Japanese, all of Japanese was extremely difficult, being full of nothing but words and grammar I didn't know so of course I thought my level was incredibly low. That opinion wasn't wrong, however I really did not know just how long the path was when it came to studying Japanese. I didn't know, but I kept studying.

Around the one and a half year mark of studying, I finally started to be able to see the length of the path I mentioned above. "Far", I thought. When I had first started, "At this pace, I wonder if I'll be able to speak fluent Japanese in maybe three years?" I thought, however compared to the idea of fluency in my head, I didn't think my level at that one and a half year mark was even at the halfway point. It was probably obvious. If I had been able to spend all day studying Japanese, I might have been able to get halfway to fluency in that time, but I didn't have that kind of time. Not doing my job and just focusing on Japanese would just have been impossible for me.

Of course, the same is true now.

When faced with that reality, in the beginning was the reason I thought the length of the road was that short just my own arrogance? Or, was it that when I saw the time that had been spent by particular YouTubers to achieve fluency, it gave me some preconceived notions of how long the path ahead was?

Right now, I don't really remember.

As it stands currently, I know a lot of Japanese. I can write (using a computer, type might be more fitting a word) sentences, even though they're riddled with mistakes. I can talk to my friends. Despite this, I know my Japanese really sucks, and I need to study more. Now that I've reached this point, I shouldn't compared myself to other foreigners studying Japanese - rather, it's better to compare myself to natives, I think. Of course, it's ridiculous to think I can become able to speak as well as a native, but aiming for true fluency is the right thing to do, I think. That said, the road to true fluency is... really long.

P.S. Saying 妥当だと is more fun than I thought.

P.S.S. This time, translating what I wrote to English was seriously harder than I thought.