kikokun's avatar
kikokun

Oct. 21, 2025

1
Drove to Yamanashi

I left home before 9 a.m. and drove along the winding mountain roads, taking short breaks along the way, and got back home by 6:30 p.m.
The deeper I went into the mountains beyond Okutama, the more beautiful the autumn colors became, though it’s not yet the peak of the season.

After crossing the mountain pass, the lower land finally came into view, and peach orchards gradually came into sight.
Of course, the peach season is already over, but I thought this area must look beautiful in spring, covered in shades of pink.
※Yamanashi is famous for its peach.


9時前に自宅を出発し、ひたすら山道を走り、途中休憩したりして6時半には帰宅した。奥多摩からさらに深く山に入れば入るほど紅葉がきれいになってきた。ただまだ本格的な紅葉ではないが。峠を越えてようやく下界が見えてくるとだんだん桃畑が見えてきた。もちろん桃の季節は終わっているが、ここは春は桃色できれいだろうなと思った。

塩山 勝沼
Corrections

The Droive to Yamanashi

As a title this is slightly more natural.

I left home before 9 a.m. and drove along the winding mountain roads, taking short breaks along the way, and got back home by 6:30 p.m.

The deeper I went into the mountains beyond Okutama, the more beautiful the autumn colors became, though it’s not yet the peak of the season.

After crossing the mountain pass, the lower landvalley below finally came into view, and peach orchards gradually came into sight.

Of course, the peach season is already over, but I thought this area must look beautiful in the spring, covered in shades of pink.

You can also say, "Of course the season for peaches is already over, .... "

※Yamanashi is famous for its peaches.

Feedback

Reminding me of my trip and all the beautiful autumn colors. Sounds wonderful

kikokun's avatar
kikokun

Oct. 22, 2025

1

Thank you for your corrections!

Droive to Yamanashi

In titles we often use the present tense in this way

I left home before 9 a.m. and drove along the winding mountain roads, taking short breaks along the way, and got back home by 6:30 p.m.

Here I would maybe suggest moving the part about when you got back to the end for better flow. It's generally best to keep things in chronological order (the order of when events happened)

The deeper I went into the mountains beyond Okutama, the more beautiful the autumn colors became, though it’s not yet the peak of the season.

After crossing the mountain pass, the lower land finally came into view, and peach orchards gradually came into sight.

Comma is unnecessary

Of course, the peach season is already over, but I thought this area must look beautiful in spring, covered in shades of pink.

*Yamanashi is famous for its peach.

This isn't wrong, but in English we often use the asterisk (*) symbol to mark notes like this

Feedback

Good writing! Your writing makes me want to see the scenery you described

kikokun's avatar
kikokun

Oct. 22, 2025

1

Thank you for your corrections. That really heped me!

Drove to Yamanashi


Droive to Yamanashi

In titles we often use the present tense in this way

The Droive to Yamanashi

As a title this is slightly more natural.

I left home before 9 a.m. and drove along the winding mountain roads, taking short breaks along the way, and got back home by 6:30 p.m.


I left home before 9 a.m. and drove along the winding mountain roads, taking short breaks along the way, and got back home by 6:30 p.m.

Here I would maybe suggest moving the part about when you got back to the end for better flow. It's generally best to keep things in chronological order (the order of when events happened)

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The deeper I went into the mountains beyond Okutama, the more beautiful the autumn colors became, though it’s not yet the peak of the season.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

After crossing the mountain pass, the lower land finally came into view, and peach orchards gradually came into sight.


After crossing the mountain pass, the lower land finally came into view, and peach orchards gradually came into sight.

Comma is unnecessary

After crossing the mountain pass, the lower landvalley below finally came into view, and peach orchards gradually came into sight.

Of course, the peach season is already over, but I thought this area must look beautiful in spring, covered in shades of pink.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Of course, the peach season is already over, but I thought this area must look beautiful in the spring, covered in shades of pink.

You can also say, "Of course the season for peaches is already over, .... "

※Yamanashi is famous for its peach.


*Yamanashi is famous for its peach.

This isn't wrong, but in English we often use the asterisk (*) symbol to mark notes like this

※Yamanashi is famous for its peaches.

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