yesterday
Drive to Yamanashi: Part 6
Whenever I visit Ohtsuki, I always stop by a greengrocer I like.
However, it was closed that day. As I mendeard, I noticed a wonderful aroma swirling around me. It seemed to be coming from a confectionery shop right in front of me. "I wondered, Has this shop been here before? "
Drawn by the aroma, I stepped inside.
Then I discovered the source of that distinctive fragrance. It was sansho (a kind of Japanese pepper).
I bought some to try and ended up eating them in the car as I drove. The confection was made simply with flour, sugar, and eggs, and flavored with sansho, giving it a peculiar taste.
大月に行くと必ず立ち寄る八百屋がある。しかし、この日は閉まっていた。しかし、辺り一帯にとても良い香りが漂っていた。どうやら、目の前にある菓子店からのようだ。このお店、前からあったかなと思いながら、香りに誘われて店に入った。すると、その独特な香りの正体は山椒であることが分かった。試しに買って、運転しながら食ってしまった。
小麦・砂糖・卵だけで練り上げた生地に山椒で香りづけをした菓子は、一味変った風味を醸し出していた。
Whenever I visit Ohtsuki, I always stop by a greengrocer I like.
As I meandeared, I noticed a wonderful aroma swirling around me.
It seemed to be coming from a confectionery shop right in front of me.
This is correct, but you could also use "the* confectionery shop right in front of me", since it is the only one in front of you. If it wasn't the only one, then you would instead use "from one of the confectionery shops in front of me."
Also, in American English, we would use "candy" instead of "confectionery" (which is more of a British English term, and maybe Australian?). If you care about that distinction.
"I wondered, H"has this shop been here before? "
Since "has this shop been here before? " is the thing you wondered (and not the "I wondered" part), that is the only thing that should be in quotes.
Drawn in by the aroma, I stepped inside.
Alternate suggestion:
"Drawn to the aroma, I stepped inside."
It was sansho (a kind of Japanese pepper).
I bought some to try and ended up eating them in the car as I drove.
The confection was made simply with flour, sugar, and eggs, and flavored with sansho, giving it a peculiar taste.
If I understood your Japanese post correctly, I would probably use "particular" instead of "peculiar," since "peculiar" means strange/unusual, which tends to have a slightly negative connotation (without explicitly stating that it was a positive experience), whereas "particular" just means unique/unlike other things (and has a neutral connotation).
Separately, If you wanted to make the distinction/subtlety that the 山椒 flavoring/aroma should be interpreted as somewhat separate from the other 3 ingredients, then you could instead say:
"The confection was made simply with flour, sugar, and eggs, then it was flavored with sansho, giving it a particular taste."
Feedback
Great Job! It seems you have a strong grasp of English and are working on adding nuance to your English posts. Keep up the good work!
Drive to Yamanashi: Part 6
Whenever I visit Ohtsuki, I always stop by a greengrocer I like.
However, it was closed that day.
As I meandeared, I noticed a wonderful aroma swirling around me.
"Swirling" isn't wrong but "wafting" is often used in relation to scents so would be a good word to use here.
It seemed to be coming from a confectionery shop right in front of me.
"I wondered, H "Was this shop been here before? ".
Simple past tense is best here.
Speech marks should only go around the part quoted. Unless you thought or said "I wondered", those should not be in the speech marks.
Drawn by the aroma, I stepped inside.
Then I discovered the source of that distinctive fragrance.
It was sansho (a kind of Japanese pepper).
I bought some to try and ended up eating them in the car as I drove.
So there's nothing wrong speaking grammatically here, but this sentence and the follow-up did confuse me because it seemed like you were buying sansho peppers rather than a sweet made with the peppers. I might suggest adding a sentence before this explaining that there were confections made using sansho, or adding that information to the previous sentence.
The confection was made simply with flour, sugar, and eggs, and flavored with sansho, giving it a peculiar taste.
See the above comment.
Feedback
You write very well, and your use of vocabulary is great. My main feedback is related to the presentation of information in the piece as a whole rather than any major grammatical issues.
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Drive to Yamanashi: Part 6 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Whenever I visit Ohtsuki, I always stop by a greengrocer I like. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However, it was closed that day. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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As I mendeard, I noticed a wonderful aroma swirling around me. As I meande "Swirling" isn't wrong but "wafting" is often used in relation to scents so would be a good word to use here. As I meande |
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It seemed to be coming from a confectionery shop right in front of me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! It seemed to be coming from a confectionery shop right in front of me. This is correct, but you could also use "the* confectionery shop right in front of me", since it is the only one in front of you. If it wasn't the only one, then you would instead use "from one of the confectionery shops in front of me." Also, in American English, we would use "candy" instead of "confectionery" (which is more of a British English term, and maybe Australian?). If you care about that distinction. |
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"I wondered, Has this shop been here before? "
Simple past tense is best here. Speech marks should only go around the part quoted. Unless you thought or said "I wondered", those should not be in the speech marks.
Since "has this shop been here before? " is the thing you wondered (and not the "I wondered" part), that is the only thing that should be in quotes. |
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Drawn by the aroma, I stepped inside. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Drawn in by the aroma, I stepped inside. Alternate suggestion: "Drawn to the aroma, I stepped inside." |
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Then I discovered the source of that distinctive fragrance. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It was sansho (a kind of Japanese pepper). This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I bought some to try and ended up eating them in the car as I drove. I bought some to try and ended up eating them in the car as I drove. So there's nothing wrong speaking grammatically here, but this sentence and the follow-up did confuse me because it seemed like you were buying sansho peppers rather than a sweet made with the peppers. I might suggest adding a sentence before this explaining that there were confections made using sansho, or adding that information to the previous sentence. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The confection was made simply with flour, sugar, and eggs, and flavored with sansho, giving it a peculiar taste. The confection was made simply with flour, sugar, and eggs, and flavored with sansho, giving it a peculiar taste. See the above comment. The confection was made simply with flour, sugar, If I understood your Japanese post correctly, I would probably use "particular" instead of "peculiar," since "peculiar" means strange/unusual, which tends to have a slightly negative connotation (without explicitly stating that it was a positive experience), whereas "particular" just means unique/unlike other things (and has a neutral connotation). Separately, If you wanted to make the distinction/subtlety that the 山椒 flavoring/aroma should be interpreted as somewhat separate from the other 3 ingredients, then you could instead say: "The confection was made simply with flour, sugar, and eggs, then it was flavored with sansho, giving it a particular taste." |
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