mantekhan's avatar
mantekhan

July 7, 2025

0
Diary — July 7 — Day one.

Today I woke up early in morning, I brushed my teeth and washed my face with cold water. Yesterday wasn't an easy day for me, a lot of memories came back to me when my friend Silvia said something about my exgirlfriend, she was the guilty of my sadness. I felt really bad because I miss her everyday. We continue playing videogames but in my head I was getting killed by memories. After almost two hours, I turned off my PC and I went to my bed. I cried, or tried to cry for half hour, my mind was blind, everything was about her, she really broke me. I was lost but I messaged to my bestfriend, I told him about go out together and he accepted it.

We go out and we ate hamburguer, we spoke about a lot of things, it was the best part of my day. After that, I came back to my house, I turned on my PC and I deleted every videogame, social media and everything that doesn't add me something good. That's my first day without these apps and I'm feeling good. I'll try to don't answer to people like Silvia because I know that I'll feel really bad with her speechs.

Corrections

Diary — July 7 — Day oOne.

No need for periods in titles

Today I woke up early in the morning, I brushed my teeth and washed my face with cold water.

Yesterday wasn't an easy day for me, a lot of memories came back to me when my friend Silvia said something about my ex-girlfriend, that she was the guiltysource of my sadness.

I felt really bad because I miss her every day.

For counting days, use "every day." "Everyday" with no comma is rather used as an adjective for objects that are regularly and casually used. "These are my everyday errands shoes."

We continue playing video games but in my head I was'm getting killed by memories.

This sentence structure needs the second part to also be in the present tense, "We continue... I'm getting..."

After almost two hours of playing yesterday, I turned off my PC and I went to my bed.

This sounds awkward without the detail around the two hours of playing - when was this? I arbitrarily inserted "yesterday"

I cried, or tried to cry for half an hour, m. My mind was blinobsessed, everything was about her, s. She really broke me.

Using blind to describe the mind isn't something I've ever heard, and I would not know what it means. But from this context, I would suggest "obsessed"

I was lost, but I messaged to my best friend, I told him about go and suggested going out together and he accepted it.

We go out and wewent out, ate hamburguers, weand spoke about a lot of things, i. It was the best part of my day.

After that, I came back to my house, I turned on my PC and I deleted every video game, social media and everything else that doesn't add me something goodpositivity to my life.

"Add me something good" isn't natural - I gave an alternative for this sentiment

That'is is my first day without these apps and I'm feeling good.

I'll try to don't answer toignore people like Silvia because I know that I'll feel really bad with her speechsshe will just make me feel worse.

Speeches are rather formal and official things, such as what a politician or CEO might give.

Feedback

Good job and good luck to you.

mantekhan's avatar
mantekhan

July 8, 2025

0

Thanks for your correction sir. I'll improve with this one.

Diary — July 7 — Day one.


Diary — July 7 — Day oOne.

No need for periods in titles

I cried, or tried to cry for half hour, my mind was blind, everything was about her, she really broke me.


I cried, or tried to cry for half an hour, m. My mind was blinobsessed, everything was about her, s. She really broke me.

Using blind to describe the mind isn't something I've ever heard, and I would not know what it means. But from this context, I would suggest "obsessed"

I was lost but I messaged to my bestfriend, I told him about go out together and he accepted it.


I was lost, but I messaged to my best friend, I told him about go and suggested going out together and he accepted it.

Today I woke up early in morning, I brushed my teeth and washed my face with cold water.


Today I woke up early in the morning, I brushed my teeth and washed my face with cold water.

Yesterday wasn't an easy day for me, a lot of memories came back to me when my friend Silvia said something about my exgirlfriend, she was the guilty of my sadness.


Yesterday wasn't an easy day for me, a lot of memories came back to me when my friend Silvia said something about my ex-girlfriend, that she was the guiltysource of my sadness.

I felt really bad because I miss her everyday.


I felt really bad because I miss her every day.

For counting days, use "every day." "Everyday" with no comma is rather used as an adjective for objects that are regularly and casually used. "These are my everyday errands shoes."

We continue playing videogames but in my head I was getting killed by memories.


We continue playing video games but in my head I was'm getting killed by memories.

This sentence structure needs the second part to also be in the present tense, "We continue... I'm getting..."

After almost two hours, I turned off my PC and I went to my bed.


After almost two hours of playing yesterday, I turned off my PC and I went to my bed.

This sounds awkward without the detail around the two hours of playing - when was this? I arbitrarily inserted "yesterday"

We go out and we ate hamburguer, we spoke about a lot of things, it was the best part of my day.


We go out and wewent out, ate hamburguers, weand spoke about a lot of things, i. It was the best part of my day.

After that, I came back to my house, I turned on my PC and I deleted every videogame, social media and everything that doesn't add me something good.


After that, I came back to my house, I turned on my PC and I deleted every video game, social media and everything else that doesn't add me something goodpositivity to my life.

"Add me something good" isn't natural - I gave an alternative for this sentiment

That's my first day without these apps and I'm feeling good.


That'is is my first day without these apps and I'm feeling good.

I'll try to don't answer to people like Silvia because I know that I'll feel really bad with her speechs.


I'll try to don't answer toignore people like Silvia because I know that I'll feel really bad with her speechsshe will just make me feel worse.

Speeches are rather formal and official things, such as what a politician or CEO might give.

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