Dec. 17, 2021
Defly
My secret name is Defly, you won't find out your real name yet, I'm a world heroine. As a little girl, I always wanted to become a heroine and help people. That wish came true and now all the children know me by it. I was named after the first three letters of the word „Defense“. My symbol signifies a yellow triangle and inside is an exclamation point, that symbol signifies security.
Many children ask me how I became a heroine. It happened overnight, I started to feel like something was going on with my body. I woke up and I could fly. I read various books and found out it was one about super power. In addition to flying, my super powers were invisibility and speed. Like any heroine, I have a costume, I wear a yellow cloak because yellow is a symbol of security. I have a skirt and a black T-shirt with the letter D on it as Defly. The weapons I use are a shield and my super powers. I am fighting against my biggest enemies these are Evilman, Lex Luthor, Brainiac and many more.
Everyone wants to be a superhero, but you don't have to be a hero to help someone in danger. Be fair and help someone because it will come back to you well.
Defly
My secret name is Defly, but you won't find out myour real name yet, I'm a world heroinehero of the world.
1. Note: the word 'heroine' isn't very popular in English nowadays. Using just "hero" for all genders is more normal.
2. Not sure what you meant by "world heroine" here, I just rephrased it.
As a little girl, I always wanted to become a heroine and help people.
That wish came true and now all the children know me byfor it.
"all the children" would means "every child from a certain group of children", compared to "all children", which would mean "children in general".
I was named afterMy name comes from the first three letters of the word „Defense“.
"My name is based off of ..." would also work.
My symbol signifieis a yellow triangle and inside of it is an exclamation point, thatwhich symbol signifises security.
Many children ask me how I became a heroine.
It happened overnight, I started to feel like something was going on with my body.
I woke up and I could fly.
I read various books and found out it was one abouta kind of super power.
In addition to flying, my super powers were invisibility and speed.
Like any heroine, I have a costume, Iand wear a yellow cloak because yellow is a symbol the colour of security.
1. Using "I" twice is unnecessary.
2. Your expression "yellow is a symbol of ..." wasn't wrong, I just suggested an alternate common expression.
I have a skirt and a black T-shirt with the letter D on it as, which stands for Defly.
The weapons I use are a shield and my super powers.
I am fighting against my biggest enemies these are, including the likes of Evilman, Lex Luthor, Brainiac, and many more.
1. "fight" in the simple present fits better, because you're talking about something you do regularly.
2. Added a phrase which fit the context.
Everyone wants to be a superhero, but you don't have to be a hero to help someone in danger.
Be fair and help someone because it will come back toserve you well.
"help someone because good comes around" is another option.
Feedback
Overall, well-written, but unfortunately, quite a few expression mistakes. No problem at all, it's good to learn from mistakes :)
Dec. 18, 2021
My secret name is Defly, but you won't find out myour real name yet, I'm a world heroinehero of the world.
I understand now, it sound better. So, English. Hero. But, unfortunately, also so chauvinistic.
Dec. 18, 2021
Thank you so much for your detailed corrections. Thanks for taking your time.
Defly
My secret name is Defly, you won't find out myour real name yet,. I'm a world heroine.
As a little girl, I always wanted to become a heroine and help people.
That wish came true and now all the children know me byecause of it.
I was named after the first three letters of the word „"Defense“.
Cool super hero name! I like that it also sounds a bit like deftly, which implies she is very competent.
My symbol signifieis a yellow triangle and inside iswith an exclamation point, that symbol inside, which signifies security.
Many children ask me how I became a heroine.
It happened overnight,. I started to feel like something was going on with my body, then I woke up and I could fly.
I woke up and I could fly.
I read various books and found out it was one abouta super power.
Or "I read various books and found one about super powers."
In addition to flying, my super powers were invisibility and speed.
Like any heroine, I have a costume,. I wear a yellow cloak because yellow is a symbol of security.
I have a skirt and a black T-shirt with the letter D on it asfor Defly.
The weapons I use are a shield and my super powers.
I am fighting against my biggest enemies these are: Evilman, Lex Luthor, Brainiac and many more.
Everyone wants to be a superhero, but you don't have to be a hero to help someone in danger.
Be fair and help someone because it will come back around to you well.
Feedback
Heroine is correct for a female hero, but it would also be natural to just say "hero."
Thank you for sharing this creative character!
Dec. 18, 2021
Thank you for taking your time!
Dec. 18, 2021
I read various books and found out it was one abouta super power.
Or maybe
I read various books and found out I got superpowers:
Dec. 18, 2021
Yeah, that works.
Dec. 18, 2021
Except maybe “found out I had superpowers.”
Dec. 18, 2021
Right, had is better. Thanks
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Defly This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My secret name is Defly, you won't find out your real name yet, I'm a world heroine. My secret name is Defly, you won't find out my My secret name is Defly, but you won't find out my 1. Note: the word 'heroine' isn't very popular in English nowadays. Using just "hero" for all genders is more normal. 2. Not sure what you meant by "world heroine" here, I just rephrased it. |
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As a little girl, I always wanted to become a heroine and help people. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That wish came true and now all the children know me by it. That wish came true and now all the children know me b That wish came true and now all "all the children" would means "every child from a certain group of children", compared to "all children", which would mean "children in general". |
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I was named after the first three letters of the word „Defense“. I was named after the first three letters of the word Cool super hero name! I like that it also sounds a bit like deftly, which implies she is very competent.
"My name is based off of ..." would also work. |
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My symbol signifies a yellow triangle and inside is an exclamation point, that symbol signifies security. My symbol My symbol |
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Many children ask me how I became a heroine. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It happened overnight, I started to feel like something was going on with my body. It happened overnight This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I woke up and I could fly. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I read various books and found out it was one about super power. I read various books and found out it was Or "I read various books and found one about super powers." I read various books and found out it was |
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In addition to flying, my super powers were invisibility and speed. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Like any heroine, I have a costume, I wear a yellow cloak because yellow is a symbol of security. Like any heroine, I have a costume Like any heroine, I have a costume, 1. Using "I" twice is unnecessary. 2. Your expression "yellow is a symbol of ..." wasn't wrong, I just suggested an alternate common expression. |
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I have a skirt and a black T-shirt with the letter D on it as Defly. I have a skirt and a black T-shirt with the letter D on it I have a skirt and a black T-shirt with the letter D on it |
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The weapons I use are a shield and my super powers. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I am fighting against my biggest enemies these are Evilman, Lex Luthor, Brainiac and many more. I am fighting against my biggest enemies I 1. "fight" in the simple present fits better, because you're talking about something you do regularly. 2. Added a phrase which fit the context. |
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Everyone wants to be a superhero, but you don't have to be a hero to help someone in danger. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Be fair and help someone because it will come back to you well. Be fair and help someone because it will come back around to you Be fair and help someone because it will "help someone because good comes around" is another option. |
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