Kindred Spirit

June 14, 2025

Dead on Arrival

The military ship that crashed into the cargo bay was carrying nukes. One of them was ripped open in the crash, scattering green glowing orbs through the zero-gravity area. The radiation leak triggered the ship's airlock to seal itself. You need to get rid of the orbs to access the ship, retrieve its singularity core, and bring it to a shuttle docked at the crew deck.

Corrections

Dead on Arrival

The military ship that crashed into the cargo bay was carrying nukes.

One of them was ripped open in the crash, scattering green glowing orbs through the zero-gravity area.

No grammatical issues, it just sounds a little clumsy. I'd say "one of them broke open" or "one of them cracked open" instead of ripped. I think "during the crash" also sounds a bit better. Example: "One of them broke open during the crash, ..."

This is a native-level creative writing class correction, though. You didn't say anything wrong!

The radiation leak triggered the ship's airlock to seal itself.

You need to get rid of the orbs to access the ship, retrieve its singularity core, and bring it to a shuttle docked at the crew deck.

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Dead on Arrival


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The military ship that crashed into the cargo bay was carrying nukes.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

One of them was ripped open in the crash, scattering green glowing orbs through the zero-gravity area.


One of them was ripped open in the crash, scattering green glowing orbs through the zero-gravity area.

No grammatical issues, it just sounds a little clumsy. I'd say "one of them broke open" or "one of them cracked open" instead of ripped. I think "during the crash" also sounds a bit better. Example: "One of them broke open during the crash, ..." This is a native-level creative writing class correction, though. You didn't say anything wrong!

The radiation leak triggered the ship's airlock to seal itself.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

You need to get rid of the orbs to access the ship, retrieve its singularity core, and bring it to a shuttle docked at the crew deck.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

One of them was ripped open in the crash, scattering green glowing orbs throughout the zero-gravity area.


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