Dec. 25, 2022
CPU Cooler
The CPU cooler in my main desktop PC died.
My PC suddenly started to shut down constantly yesterday.
The CPU fan spins but air coming from it is not warm at all.
This means that it doesn’t cool the CPU.
I checked its temperature and found out that the CPU was damn hot even when the PC was not active.
This is the worst timing.
There are a lot of things I want to do during the upcoming holidays.
I can’t do any of them without a PC
Of course, it’s already affecting my content creator activity too.
You can’t get a new part immediately even if you are an Amazon Prime member in this season.
You have to wait a few days to receive a product you buy.
So, I had to bring out my old PC and set it up.
I am glad that I didn’t sell it for small money.
It's been less than two years since I bought the new one, so it’s too early to break.
The old one is really nice actually.
Of course it’s not as powerful as the new one, but it’s so quiet and has never broken before.
It has a better PC case too.
I should have gotten the same one for the new PC…
I have been spending a lot of time dealing with this situation this weekend.
I still have a lot of things to say, but I will save them for future posts.
CPU Cooler
The CPU cooler in my main desktop PC died.
My PC suddenly started to shutting down constantly yesterday.
The CPU fan spins butwas spinning but the air coming from it iwas not warm at all.
This meanst that it doewasn’'t cooling the CPU.
I checked its temperature and found out that the CPU was damnreally hot even when the PC was not active.
This is the worst timing.
There are a lot of things I want to do during the upcoming holidays.,
but I can’t do any of them without a PC.
Of course, it’s already started affecting my content creator activity too.
YAt these time of year you can’t get a new part immediatequickly even if you are an Amazon Prime member in this season.
You have to wait a few days to receive a product you buy.
So, I had to bring out my old PC and set it up.
I am glad that I didn’t sell it for a small amount of money.
It's been less than two years since I bought the new one, so it’s too early to break.
The old one is really nice actually.
Of course it’s not as powerful as the new one, but it’s so quiet and has never broken before.
It has a better PC case, too.
I should have gotten the same one for the new PC…
I have been spending a lot of time dealing with this situation this weekend.
I still have a lot of things to say, but I will save them for future posts.
Feedback
I hope it works out!
Dec. 28, 2022
Thank you for your help,onediamondmorning!
The CPU Cooler
This sounds more natural for a title in the US.
The CPU cooler in my main desktop PC died.
My PC suddenly started to shut down constantly yesterday.
The CPU fan spins but air coming from it is not warm at alstill cool.
Unlike Japanese, in English we tend to use less negative phrasing.
This means that it doeisn’t cooling the CPU.
This sounds more natural in the US.
I checked its temperature and found out that the CPU was damn hot even when the PC was not activerunning.
In US English, we often describe a computer as running or not running.
This is the worst timing.
There are a lot of things I want to do during the upcoming holidays.
I can’t do any of them without a PC.
Of course, it’s already affecting my content creator activity, too.
YDuring this time, you can’t get a new part immediately even if you are an Amazon Prime member in this season.
This sounds more natural in the US.
You have to wait a few days to receive a product you buy.
So, I had to bring out my old PC and set it up.
I am glad that I didn’t sell it for a small amount of money.
This sounds more natural in the US.
そうですね！
It's been less than two years since I bought the new one, so it’s too early to break.
The old one is really nice actually.
Of course it’s not as powerful as the new one, but it’s so quiet and has never broken before.
It has a better PC case, too.
We always put a comma (,) before using "too."
I should have gotten the same one for the new PC…
I have been spending a lot of time dealing with this situation this weekend.
I still have a lot of things to say, but I will save them for future posts.
Feedback
残念ですね。まだ前のコンピュータを持っていてよかった。上手に書けています！
Dec. 28, 2022
Thank you very much, mari-san! The old one is amazing.
My PC suddenly started to shutting down constantly yesterday.
The CPU fan spins but the air coming fromout of it iwas not warmcool enough at all.
When you use 'not warm at all' it usually means something is a cool or cold tempurature.
This means that it doewasn’t cooling the CPU.
I checked its temperature and found out that the CPU was really damn hot even when the PC was not active.
Using 'really' or 'so' with 'damn' is more common in my opinion.
There awere a lot of things that I wanted to do during the upcoming holidays.
And I can’t do any of them without a PC
You can’t get any new parts immediately even if you awere an Amazon Prime member in this season.
I am glad that I didn’t sell it for smallome money.
Dec. 25, 2022
I am glad that I didn’t sell it for smallome money.
it's a lot more natural in casual conversation to say "a little bit of". so, in this example, "a little bit of money". it's a casual way of saying a small amount of money, and "a little bit" is also used in the same context as "kind of". so if you used that in your conversation, people might say you sound a little bit more fluent than you would otherwise
Dec. 26, 2022
Thank you very much, ashlynn1257!
Dec. 26, 2022
The CPU fan spins but the air coming fromout of it iwas not warmcool enough at all.
The air coming out of the CPU fan is supposed to be warm to take away its heat to outside and cool it.
Dec. 26, 2022
it's a lot more natural in casual conversation to say "a little bit of". so, in this example, "a little bit of money". it's a casual way of saying a small amount of money, and "a little bit" is also used in the same context as "kind of". so if you used that in your conversation, people might say you sound a little bit more fluent than you would otherwise
Thank you for your feedback, orion!
Dec. 28, 2022
Thank you for your help, ashlynn1257!
CPU Cooler
The CPU cooler in my main desktop PC died.
My PC suddenly started to shut down constantly yesterday.
The CPU fan spins, but the air coming from it is not warm at all.
This means that it doesn’t cool the CPU.
I checked it's temperature and found out that the CPU was damnextremely hot even when the PC was not active.
"Damn" is a bit conversational and doesn't really fit here.
This ishappened in the worst timing.
There awere a lot of things I wanted to do during the upcoming holidays.
..., but now I can’t do any of them without a PC.
Connect this to the previous sentence like this.
Of course, it’s already affecting my content creator activity too.
You can’t get a new part immediately even if you are an Amazon Prime member during this season/(time of the year).
You have to wait a few days to receive a product you buy.
So, I had to bring out my old PC and set it up.
I am glad that I didn’t sell it for small moneyto get some extra cash.
It's been less than two years since I bought the new one, so it’s too early to break.
The old one is really nice actually.
Of course it’s not as powerful as the new one, but it’s so quiet and has never broken before.
It has a better PC case too.
I should have gotten the same one for the new PC…
I have been spending a lot of time dealing with this situation this weekend.
I still have a lot of things to say, but I will save them for future posts.
Feedback
Each sentence is more or less gramatically correct, but they are all very simple and short. Try conecting them with conjunctions or add more transitions next time.
Dec. 26, 2022
Thank you for your corrections and feedback, eqeos!
I will try to connect short sentences next time.
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CPU Cooler This sentence has been marked as perfect! The CPU Cooler This sounds more natural for a title in the US. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The CPU cooler in my main desktop PC died. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My PC suddenly started to shut down constantly yesterday. This sentence has been marked as perfect! My PC suddenly started This sentence has been marked as perfect! My PC suddenly started |
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This means that it doesn’t cool the CPU. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This means that it This means that it This sounds more natural in the US. This mean |
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The CPU fan spins but air coming from it is not warm at all. The CPU fan spins, but the air coming from it is not warm at all. The CPU fan spins but the air coming When you use 'not warm at all' it usually means something is a cool or cold tempurature. The CPU fan spins but air coming from it is Unlike Japanese, in English we tend to use less negative phrasing. The CPU fan |
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I checked its temperature and found out that the CPU was damn hot even when the PC was not active. I checked it's temperature and found out that the CPU was "Damn" is a bit conversational and doesn't really fit here. I checked its temperature and found out that the CPU was really damn hot even when the PC was not active. Using 'really' or 'so' with 'damn' is more common in my opinion. I checked its temperature and found out that the CPU was damn hot even when the PC was not In US English, we often describe a computer as running or not running. I checked its temperature and found out that the CPU was |
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This is the worst timing. This This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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There are a lot of things I want to do during the upcoming holidays. There There This sentence has been marked as perfect! There are a lot of things I want to do during the upcoming holidays |
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I can’t do any of them without a PC ..., but now I can’t do any of them without a PC. Connect this to the previous sentence like this. And I can’t do any of them without a PC I can’t do any of them without a PC. but I can’t do any of them without a PC. |
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Of course, it’s already affecting my content creator activity too. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Of course, it’s already affecting my content creator activity, too. Of course, it’s already started affecting my content creator activity too. |
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You can’t get a new part immediately even if you are an Amazon Prime member in this season. You can’t get a new part immediately even if you are an Amazon Prime member during this season/(time of the year). You can’t get any new parts immediately even if you
This sounds more natural in the US.
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You have to wait a few days to receive a product you buy. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So, I had to bring out my old PC and set it up. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I am glad that I didn’t sell it for small money. I am glad that I didn’t sell it I am glad that I didn’t sell it for s I am glad that I didn’t sell it for a small amount of money. This sounds more natural in the US. そうですね！ I am glad that I didn’t sell it for a small amount of money. |
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It's been less than two years since I bought the new one, so it’s too early to break. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The old one is really nice actually. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Of course it’s not as powerful as the new one, but it’s so quiet and has never broken before. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It has a better PC case too. This sentence has been marked as perfect! It has a better PC case, too. We always put a comma (,) before using "too." It has a better PC case, too. |
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I should have gotten the same one for the new PC… This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I have been spending a lot of time dealing with this situation this weekend. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I still have a lot of things to say, but I will save them for future posts. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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