Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 3-2

akimi

Oct. 26, 2025

Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 3-2

Third Exchange part 2

To Kyoko,

I'm sorry for the late reply.

The piece I submitted the other day didn’t even get a passing glance.

I hadn’t expected to win the grand prize, but I did hope to do better than last time, when I at least received an honorable mention.

So when I saw the results, I was shocked. For a while, I couldn’t bring myself to start a new piece.

I couldn’t even write to you. I’m sorry. You cheered me on, and I let you down. I’m sorry for that too.

I was angry at myself for being so pathetic, fell into a spiral of despair, and ended up wasting my days in a haze.

But I can’t just do nothing. I’m still working as an assistant, and now, thanks to an introduction from my current mentor, I’ve started helping out another artist as well.

When deadlines overlap, I sometimes find myself running from one studio to another.

After much thought, I explained the situation to my part-time job and bowed out. I’ve let my father down again, and I feel like I’ve become a burden once more.

Still, immersing myself in assistant work has been a blessing. While I’m drawing exactly as instructed, I can forget—at least for a while—how badly I did in the rookie contest.

And on the bright side, I’ve managed to earn a bit of money. It all goes to rent, groceries, and art supplies for now, but it’s something.

The new artist I met used to be an assistant to the same mentor I’ve been working with.

He’s still young, close in age to me and the other assistants.

The other day, after a deadline, he took us out for drinks.

He’s been in the industry for two years now, but perhaps out of frustration over not getting the kind of survey results he hoped for, he got quite drunk.

Slurring his words, he began to speak passionately about how grueling it is to be a professional manga artist, and how it eats away at your soul.

“I’m telling you this for your own good,” he said. “You have no idea how much easier life would be with a regular job.

Do you really have the resolve to carry this burden for the rest of your life?

Only a handful of people ever attain the glory you dream of. And even if you do, it fades in an instant, and then you’re expected to reach even greater heights.

It’s hell. It’s like shaving off pieces of your soul and selling them to the devil bit by bit. You shut yourself in a tiny room, wasting paper and ink, living a lonely and unhealthy life.

Even those at the top of the pyramid live like that. As for those of us at the bottom, it’s not even worth mentioning.

You know there are countless artists who vanish without ever making a hit.

Even if they disappear from the pages, they haven’t truly vanished.

They just keep wandering, endlessly—because they once dipped a foot into the hell that is the manga world.”

There were three of us listening at first, but before I knew it, I was the only one left.

By the time he had passed out completely and was softly snoring, the staff came over to tell us it was closing time. I took him home in a taxi, then rode my bicycle back through the dark streets.

To my surprise, I felt strangely at ease.

Worrying about what might happen after I become part of the pyramid is absurd.

And likewise, fretting that I might never even become part of it is just as foolish.

While listening to his story, all I could think about was getting home quickly so I could start drawing my next manga.

It seems that people are more driven when they have constraints than when they are completely free.

Takeshi Kitahara
November 21, Showa50（1975）

en 2

Correct

Corrections

Shurble

I hadn’t expected to win the grand prize, but I did hope to do better than last time, when I ~~at least~~only received an honorable mention.

"at least" is fine, but it is not necessary. Sentence flow is better without it. "only" could also be used as it suggests regret in this context

Feedback

Great writing and a great insight into your life. I love how detailed and particular these scenes, especially the one of your mentor talking about his experiences. I was surprised by your beautiful writing and advanced level of understanding of the English language because of your A1 label. Are you sure you're just a beginner? Great work.

akimi

Oct. 27, 2025

Thank you for your advice. That was very helpful. I use AI support for translation, but the writing and posting here are done by me.
What I’m doing here is part of my learning process and a creative challenge.
I'm planning to continue uploading this novel, and I'd really appreciate your help with revising my writing again.

saintiago

ToDear Kyoko,

It's common to address letters this way in English, even to someone you don't know yet. In addition, the content of the letter implies a relatively close relationship.

I'm sorry for the late reply.

The piece I submitted the other day didn’t even get a passing glance.

I hadn’t expected to win the grand prize, but I did hope to do better than last time, when I at least received an honorable mention.

So when I saw the results, I was shocked.

For a while, I couldn’t bring myself to start a new piece.

I couldn’t even write to you.

I’m sorry.

You cheered me on, and I let you down.

I’m sorry for that, too.

I was angry at myself for being so pathetic, fell into a spiral of despair, and ended up wasting my days in a haze.

But I can’t just do nothing.

I’m still working as an assistant, and now, thanks to an introduction from my current mentor, I’ve started helping out another artist as well.

When deadlines overlap, I sometimes find myself running from one studio to another.

After much thought, I explained the situation to my part-time job and bowed out.

I’ve let my father down again, and I feel like I’ve become a burden once more.

Still, immersing myself in assistant work has been a blessing.

While I’m drawing exactly as instructed, I can forget—at least for a while—how badly I did in the rookie contest.

And on the bright side, I’ve managed to earn a bit of money.

It all goes to rent, groceries, and art supplies for now, but it’s something.

~~The~~A new artist I met used to be an assistant to the same mentor I’ve been working with.

It seems like the new artist is introduced in this sentence, so "a" is more natural than "the".

He’s still young, close in age to me and the other assistants.

The other day, after a deadline, he took us out for drinks.

He’s been in the industry for two years now, but perhaps out of frustration over not getting the kind of survey results he hoped for, he got quite drunk.

Slurring his words, he began to speak passionately about how grueling it is to be a professional manga artist, and how it eats away at your soul.

“I’m telling you this for your own good,” he said.

“You have no idea how much easier life would be with a regular job.

Do you really have the resolve to carry this burden for the rest of your life?

Only a handful of people ever attain the glory you dream of.

And even if you do, it fades in an instant, and then you’re expected to reach even greater heights.

It’s hell.

It’s like shaving off pieces of your soul and selling them to the devil bit by bit.

You shut yourself in a tiny room, wasting paper and ink, living a lonely and unhealthy life.

Even those at the top of the pyramid live like that.

As for those of us at the bottom, it’s not even worth mentioning.

You know there are countless artists who vanish without ever making a hit.

Even if they disappear from the pages, they haven’t truly vanished.

They just keep wandering, endlessly—because they once dipped a foot into the hell that is the manga world.”

There were three of us listening at first, but before I knew it, I was the only one left.

By the time he had passed out completely and was softly snoring, the staff came over to tell us it was closing time.

I took him home in a taxi, then rode my bicycle back through the dark streets.

To my surprise, I felt strangely at ease.

Worrying about what might happen after I become part of the pyramid is absurd.

And likewise, fretting that I might never even become part of it is just as foolish.

While listening to his story, all I could think about was getting home quickly so I could start drawing my next manga.

It seems that people are more driven when they have constraints than when they are completely free.

Takeshi Kitahara

November 21, Showa50（1975）

If this is intended for an English speaking audience, I would just stick with the international date "November 21, 1975."

akimi

Oct. 27, 2025

Thank you for your advice. It was very helpful.
As for the date format at the end, I’ve intentionally included it to evoke the atmosphere of Showa-era Japan, which is important to this work.
While it may not be familiar to English-speaking readers, I hope this can be an opportunity for them to experience a part of Japanese culture.
I'm planning to continue uploading this novel, and I'd really appreciate your help with revising my writing again.

Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella

Third Exchange part 2

To Kyoko,

ToDear Kyoko,

It's common to address letters this way in English, even to someone you don't know yet. In addition, the content of the letter implies a relatively close relationship.

I'm sorry for the late reply.