akimi's avatar
akimi

Oct. 24, 2025

1
Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 2-2

Second Exchange part 2
Takeshi's letter

To You, So Gentle and Kind

Thank you for the book. You truly are a goddess.

I’ve placed it in the most sacred spot on my bookshelf.

I swear I’ll never take it into the bathroom again.

You lowered a spider’s thread to Kandata, who had fallen into hell for the sin of leaving behind a precious book—perhaps you’re not a goddess, but the Buddha himself.

I feel like bringing you a mountain of sweet bean daifuku.

I’m sorry for worrying you, but things with my father have settled down since then.

Even he seems to realize he went too far and is reflecting on it.

Taking advantage of that, I now speak to him only when absolutely necessary. That should keep the storm at bay for a while.

Of course, I’ve made sure your book is kept out of sight.

It sounds like you’re surrounded by many people at your new workplace.

Reading your letter brought back some nostalgic memories.

Do you remember Yoshida from our third year of junior high?

His father was a city council member, and he acted all high and mighty, which made everyone dislike him.

He wasn’t a bad person, just stubborn and unable to be honest, often putting on an unpleasant attitude. Looking back, he was just awkward.
Rumors grew exaggerated, and no one wanted to go near him. But you were the only one who spoke to him normally.

Instead of being grateful, he mocked you in front of everyone. That only worsened his reputation.

Even so, you gradually softened his heart and those of our classmates, and by graduation, the class had truly come together.

It was clear in the yearbook. In the individual photo taken in April, he looked sullen and withdrawn, but on the final page from the graduation ceremony, he was smiling brightly as part of the class.

That transformation was thanks to you.

I’ve never told you this, but in our first year of high school, I happened to run into him at the station.

Unlike us, he didn’t bike to a local school—he commuted by train to a school far away, so we rarely saw him.

Yoshida asked how our old classmates were doing.

Unusually talkative, he listed names one by one, and finally, as if he’d almost forgotten, he mentioned your name—like it was an afterthought.
But even with that casual tone, he couldn’t hide his feelings.

I pretended not to notice and simply said you were doing well.

For a moment, I felt like a coward.

But I couldn’t help it. I’ve always given everything I have just to keep you to myself. There’s no room for anything else.

I’ve strayed from the main topic, but you really do have a gift for seeing the good in people.

I’m sure you’ll get along with your colleague Iizuka, and knowing you, you’ll probably clear up any misunderstandings at work too.

Now that the rainy season has ended, the sun has suddenly grown intense.

But I haven’t tanned at all—I’ve been holed up at home, drawing manga nonstop.

Still, there’s been a small change in my life.

A professional manga artist has hired me as an assistant.

The editor who contacted me after I won honorable mention in last year’s rookie contest introduced me.

The artist lives in the next town over, about forty minutes by bike.

It’s been incredibly educational. I’ve picked up many techniques over the past few weeks, though there’s still much to learn.

Because of that, my days have become very busy.

After returning from assistant work in the early morning, I dive into my own projects.

The inspiration I get from the studio overflows into new ideas as I pedal home—I can’t help but draw.

I barely sleep before heading to my part-time job, then take a short nap and go back to assist again.

My schedule has become so irregular that I keep breaking the rules I set for myself—like waking up on time and eating meals properly.

But strangely enough, I’m more productive now than ever.

I’m working hard to submit to the next rookie contest, aiming for the grand prize this time.

If I lose to Usagiya’s sweets, then disappointing my father would have been for nothing.

And so, my letter to you ended up being quite delayed.

Will you be coming back here for summer break?

I’m really looking forward to seeing you again.

Takeshi Kitahara
July 18, Showa50(1975)

Corrections

Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 2-2

Second Exchange part 2

Takeshi's letter

To You, So Gentle and Kind

No problem, but for me as native English speaker, kind and gentle comes more natural.

To you, so kind and gentle.

But that is just my personal preference maybe.

Thank you for the book.

You truly are a goddess.

I’ve placed it in the most sacred spot on my bookshelf.

I swear I’ll never take it into the bathroom again.

You lowered a spider’s thread to Kandata, who had fallen into hell for the sin of leaving behind a precious book—perhaps you’re not a goddess, but the Buddha himself.

I'm going to guess this is a Japanese fable or classic Japanese phrase, but who or what is Kandata. Grammar looks good, I was just a little confused by the spider's thread, but I get the idea.

I feel like bringing you a mountain of sweet bean daifuku.

I’m sorry for worrying you, but things with my father have settled down since then.

Even he seems to realize he went too far and is reflecting on it.

Taking advantage of that, I now speak to him only when absolutely necessary.

That should keep the storm at bay for a while.

Of course, I’ve made sure your book is kept out of sight.

It sounds like you’re surrounded by many good people at your new workplace.

What kind of people? Many good people? Many exciting people? Many people is okay but usually I think many English speakers would say "many good people."

Reading your letter brought back some nostalgic memories.

Do you remember Yoshida from our third year of junior high?

His father was a city council member, and he acted all high and mighty, which made everyone dislike him.

He wasn’t a bad person, just stubborn and unable to be honest, often putting on an unpleasant attitude.

Looking back, he was just awkward.

Rumors grew exaggerated, and no one wanted to go near him.

But you were the only one who spoke to him normally.

That only worsened his reputation.

Even so, you gradually softened his heart and those of our classmates, and by graduation, the class had truly come together.

It was clear in the yearbook.

In the individual photo taken in April, he looked sullen and withdrawn, but on the final page from the graduation ceremony, he was smiling brightly as part of the class.

That transformation was thanks to you.

I’ve never told you this, but in our first year of high school, I happened to run into him at the station.

Unlike us, he didn’t bike to a local school—he commuted by train to a school far away, so we rarely saw him.

Yoshida asked how our old classmates were doing.

Unusually talkative, he listed names one by one, and finally, as if he’d almost forgotten, he mentioned your name—like it was an afterthought.

But even with that casual tone, he couldn’t hide his feelings.

I pretended not to notice and simply said you were doing well.

For a moment, I felt like a coward.

But I couldn’t help it.

I’ve always given everything I have just to keep you to myself.

I'm a little confused at this part....starting from the unusually talkative sentence. So Yoshida mentioned her name as an afterthought, because he is embarrassed? or because he likes Kyoko? Or because he is back to putting on the facade with his unpleasant attitude of mocking Kyoko and being ungrateful? What feelings could Yoshida not hide? Does Yoshida like Kyoko and that is why it was an after thought? And then Takeshi pretended not to notice because he likes Kyoko too? What is he a coward for? Maybe tell me what he regrets doing. Like, I felt like a coward, I should've stood up for you and told him he should be more grateful for you. Or, I felt like a coward, I should've told him that we are together....although, Takeshi and Kyoko are not a couple right? And then he has given everything to keep her to himself? Like he was jealous of him talking about her and just mentioning Kyoko's name? Like he doesn't want anyone else to think about her?

Maybe your intention is the ambiguity, I just felt a little lost as to what was happening or rather, why it was happening and why he his feelings were this.

There’s no room for anything else.

I’ve strayed from the main topic, but you really do have a gift for seeing the good in people.

I’m sure you’ll get along with your colleague Iizuka, and knowing you, you’ll probably clear up any misunderstandings at work too.

Now that the rainy season has ended, the sun has suddenly grown intense.

But I haven’t tanned at all—I’ve been holed up at home, drawing manga nonstop.

Still, there’s been a small change in my life.

A professional manga artist has hired me as an assistant.

The editor who contacted me after I had won honorable mention inat last year’s rookie contest introduced me.

The artist lives in the next town over, about forty minutes by bike.

It’s been incredibly educational.

I’ve picked up many techniques over the past few weeks, though there’s still so much to learn.

not necessary

Because of that, my days have become very busy.

After returning from assistant work in the early morning, I dive into my own projects.

The inspiration I get from the studio overflows into new ideas as I pedal home—I can’t help but draw.

I barely sleep before heading to my part-time job, then take a short nap and go back to assist again.

something

My schedule has become so irregular that I keep breaking the rules I set for myself—like waking up on time and eating meals properly.

But strangely enough, I’m more productive now than ever.

I’m working hard to submit to the next rookie contest, aiming for the grand prize this time.

If I lose to Usagiya’s sweets, then disappointing my father would have been for nothing.

What do you mean lose to Usagiya's sweets? Like Usagiya is also going to be submitting something for the rookie contest and you might lose to that? Or you lose to Usagiya's sweets meaning you joing the Usagiya family business and start working with the father? Because if it is the latter and losing to Usagiya's sweets means joining Usagiya's sweet shop with his father, then he is not disappointing his father so the second half of the sentence doesn't make sense. Because his father would be happy for him to join Usagiya's sweets right?

And so, my letter to you ended up being quite delayed.

Will you be coming back here for summer break?

I’m really looking forward to seeing you again.

Takeshi Kitahara

July 18, Showa50(1975)

Feedback

Nice work, just a few spots where I was a little confused.

akimi's avatar
akimi

Oct. 29, 2025

1

Hello, JeikNation.Thank you so much for always reviewing my work. I truly admire your thoughtful approach in reading and editing my letters in order.
There were several parts I wouldn’t have noticed without your advice.
By the way, here’s how I revised it.
"I’m like Kandata, the thief who fell into hell in Ryunosuke Akutagawa’s The Spider’s Thread, and you are the Buddha who lowered the thread to save me."
"I knew he had special feelings for you. I could see it in his face.
But I pretended not to notice, and just said you were doing well.
For a moment, I felt like a coward—and it hurt."
"I chose the path of manga even though it meant disappointing my father—but it would all be meaningless."
How does it look?
I’d be grateful if you could continue helping me.

JeikNation's avatar
JeikNation

yesterday

4

Hello, I enjoy reading your stories very much and always look forward to reading them as well!
The Kandata is so much clearer now, I understand it much better thank you. The other ones look good as well, it answers my questions and makes more sense to me now.
The last one however, needs something else after the word meaningless. I think you are implying that it would all be meaningless if I don't win....or it will all be meaningless if I can't become/never become a manga artist. I need to know why it would all be meaningless, or what makes it meaningless. Not winning makes disappointing my father meaningless. Or Not becoming a manga artist makes disappointing my father meaningless. Right now, I know that disappointing the father would be meaningless but I don't know what constitutes disappointing my father.

I hope that made sense, sorry it was a little all over the place, I couldn't really find the words, I just think it needs something after meaningless.

:))
I look forward to reading more.

Takeshi's letter

To You, So Gentle and Kind

Thank you for the book.

You truly are a goddess.

I’ve placed it in the most sacred spot on my bookshelf.

I swear I’ll never take it into the bathroom again.

You lowered a spider’s thread to Kandata, who had fallen into hell for the sin of leaving behind a precious book—perhaps you’re not a goddess, but the Buddha himself.

I feel like bringing you a mountain of sweet bean daifuku.

I’m sorry for worrying you, but things with my father have settled down since then.

Even he seems to realize he went too far and is reflecting on it.

Taking advantage of that, I now speak to him only when absolutely necessary.

That should keep the storm at bay for a while.

Of course, I’ve made sure your book is kept out of sight.

It sounds like you’re surrounded by many people at your new workplace.

Reading your letter brought back some nostalgic memories.

Do you remember Yoshida from our third year of junior high?

His father was a city council member, and he acted all high and mighty, which made everyone dislike him.

He wasn’t a bad person, just stubborn and unable to be honest, often putting on an unpleasant attitude.

Looking back, he was just awkward.

Rumors grew exaggerated, and no one wanted to go near him.

But you were the only one who spoke to him normally.

Instead of being grateful, he mocked you in front of everyone.

That only worsened his reputation.

Even so, you gradually softened his heart and those of our classmates, and by graduation, the class had truly come together.

It was clear in the yearbook.

In the individual photo taken in April, he looked sullen and withdrawn, but on the final page from the graduation ceremony, he was smiling brightly as part of the class.

That transformation was thanks to you.

I’ve never told you this, but in our first year of high school, I happened to run into him at the station.

Unlike us, he didn’t bike to a local school—he commuted by train to a school far away, so we rarely saw him.

Yoshida asked how our old classmates were doing.

Unusually talkative, he listed names one by one, and finally, as if he’d almost forgotten, he mentioned your name—like it was an afterthought.

But even with that casual tone, he couldn’t hide his feelings.

I pretended not to notice and simply said you were doing well.

For a moment, I felt like a coward.

I’ve always given everything I have just to keep you to myself.

There’s no room for anything else.

I’ve strayed from the main topic, but you really do have a gift for seeing the good in people.

I’m sure you’ll get along with your colleague Iizuka, and knowing you, you’ll probably clear up any misunderstandings at work too.

Now that the rainy season has ended, the sun has suddenly grown intense.

But I haven’t tanned at all—I’ve been holed up at home, drawing manga nonstop.

Still, there’s been a small change in my life.

A professional manga artist has hired me as an assistant.

The editor who contacted me after I won honorable mention in last year’s rookie contest introduced me.

The artist lives in the next town over, about forty minutes by bike.

It’s been incredibly educational.

I’ve picked up many techniques over the past few weeks, though there’s still much to learn.

Because of that, my days have become very busy.

After returning from assistant work in the early morning, I dive into my own projects.

The inspiration I get from the studio overflows into new ideas as I pedal home—I can’t help but draw.

I barely sleep before heading to my part-time job, then take a short nap and go back to assist again.

My schedule has become so irregular that I keep breaking the rules I set for myself—like waking up on time and eating meals properly.

But strangely enough, I’m more productive now than ever.

I’m working hard to submit to the next rookie contest, aiming for the grand prize this time.

If I lose to Usagiya’s sweets, then disappointing my father would have been for nothing.

And so, my letter to you ended up being quite delayed.

Will you be coming back here for summer break?

I’m really looking forward to seeing you again.

Takeshi Kitahara

Feedback

Excellent writing! If I may make a suggestion, it may be a more pleasant reading experience if you formed longer paragraphs, rather than splitting each sentence into its own. Or perhaps you've done so as a deliberate literary decision?

akimi's avatar
akimi

Oct. 24, 2025

1

Thank you. This is a novel in the form of letters, and with the generous support of everyone here, I'm steadily guiding it toward completion.

I feel like bringing you a mountain of sweet bean daifuku.

I’m sorry for worrying you, but things with my father have settled down since then.

After returning from assistant work in the early morning, I dive into my own projects.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The inspiration I get from the studio overflows into new ideas as I pedal home—I can’t help but draw.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I barely sleep before heading to my part-time job, then take a short nap and go back to assist again.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I barely sleep before heading to my part-time job, then take a short nap and go back to assist again.

something

My schedule has become so irregular that I keep breaking the rules I set for myself—like waking up on time and eating meals properly.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But strangely enough, I’m more productive now than ever.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’m working hard to submit to the next rookie contest, aiming for the grand prize this time.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

If I lose to Usagiya’s sweets, then disappointing my father would have been for nothing.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

If I lose to Usagiya’s sweets, then disappointing my father would have been for nothing.

What do you mean lose to Usagiya's sweets? Like Usagiya is also going to be submitting something for the rookie contest and you might lose to that? Or you lose to Usagiya's sweets meaning you joing the Usagiya family business and start working with the father? Because if it is the latter and losing to Usagiya's sweets means joining Usagiya's sweet shop with his father, then he is not disappointing his father so the second half of the sentence doesn't make sense. Because his father would be happy for him to join Usagiya's sweets right?

And so, my letter to you ended up being quite delayed.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Will you be coming back here for summer break?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’m really looking forward to seeing you again.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Takeshi Kitahara


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

July 18, Showa50(1975)


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella


Second Exchange part 2


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Takeshi's letter


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

To You, So Gentle and Kind


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

To You, So Gentle and Kind

No problem, but for me as native English speaker, kind and gentle comes more natural. To you, so kind and gentle. But that is just my personal preference maybe.

Thank you for the book.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

You truly are a goddess.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’ve placed it in the most sacred spot on my bookshelf.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I swear I’ll never take it into the bathroom again.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

You lowered a spider’s thread to Kandata, who had fallen into hell for the sin of leaving behind a precious book—perhaps you’re not a goddess, but the Buddha himself.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

You lowered a spider’s thread to Kandata, who had fallen into hell for the sin of leaving behind a precious book—perhaps you’re not a goddess, but the Buddha himself.

I'm going to guess this is a Japanese fable or classic Japanese phrase, but who or what is Kandata. Grammar looks good, I was just a little confused by the spider's thread, but I get the idea.

I feel like bringing you a mountain of sweet bean daifuku.


I feel like bringing you a mountain of sweet bean daifuku.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’m sorry for worrying you, but things with my father have settled down since then.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Even he seems to realize he went too far and is reflecting on it.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

That only worsened his reputation.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Even so, you gradually softened his heart and those of our classmates, and by graduation, the class had truly come together.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It was clear in the yearbook.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

In the individual photo taken in April, he looked sullen and withdrawn, but on the final page from the graduation ceremony, he was smiling brightly as part of the class.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

That transformation was thanks to you.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’ve never told you this, but in our first year of high school, I happened to run into him at the station.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Unlike us, he didn’t bike to a local school—he commuted by train to a school far away, so we rarely saw him.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Yoshida asked how our old classmates were doing.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Unusually talkative, he listed names one by one, and finally, as if he’d almost forgotten, he mentioned your name—like it was an afterthought.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But even with that casual tone, he couldn’t hide his feelings.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I pretended not to notice and simply said you were doing well.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

For a moment, I felt like a coward.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But I couldn’t help it.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’ve always given everything I have just to keep you to myself.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’ve always given everything I have just to keep you to myself.

I'm a little confused at this part....starting from the unusually talkative sentence. So Yoshida mentioned her name as an afterthought, because he is embarrassed? or because he likes Kyoko? Or because he is back to putting on the facade with his unpleasant attitude of mocking Kyoko and being ungrateful? What feelings could Yoshida not hide? Does Yoshida like Kyoko and that is why it was an after thought? And then Takeshi pretended not to notice because he likes Kyoko too? What is he a coward for? Maybe tell me what he regrets doing. Like, I felt like a coward, I should've stood up for you and told him he should be more grateful for you. Or, I felt like a coward, I should've told him that we are together....although, Takeshi and Kyoko are not a couple right? And then he has given everything to keep her to himself? Like he was jealous of him talking about her and just mentioning Kyoko's name? Like he doesn't want anyone else to think about her? Maybe your intention is the ambiguity, I just felt a little lost as to what was happening or rather, why it was happening and why he his feelings were this.

There’s no room for anything else.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’ve strayed from the main topic, but you really do have a gift for seeing the good in people.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’m sure you’ll get along with your colleague Iizuka, and knowing you, you’ll probably clear up any misunderstandings at work too.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Now that the rainy season has ended, the sun has suddenly grown intense.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Taking advantage of that, I now speak to him only when absolutely necessary.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

That should keep the storm at bay for a while.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Of course, I’ve made sure your book is kept out of sight.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It sounds like you’re surrounded by many people at your new workplace.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It sounds like you’re surrounded by many good people at your new workplace.

What kind of people? Many good people? Many exciting people? Many people is okay but usually I think many English speakers would say "many good people."

Reading your letter brought back some nostalgic memories.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Do you remember Yoshida from our third year of junior high?


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

His father was a city council member, and he acted all high and mighty, which made everyone dislike him.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He wasn’t a bad person, just stubborn and unable to be honest, often putting on an unpleasant attitude.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Looking back, he was just awkward.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Rumors grew exaggerated, and no one wanted to go near him.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But you were the only one who spoke to him normally.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Instead of being grateful, he mocked you in front of everyone.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

But I haven’t tanned at all—I’ve been holed up at home, drawing manga nonstop.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Still, there’s been a small change in my life.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A professional manga artist has hired me as an assistant.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The editor who contacted me after I won honorable mention in last year’s rookie contest introduced me.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

The editor who contacted me after I had won honorable mention inat last year’s rookie contest introduced me.

The artist lives in the next town over, about forty minutes by bike.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

It’s been incredibly educational.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’ve picked up many techniques over the past few weeks, though there’s still much to learn.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I’ve picked up many techniques over the past few weeks, though there’s still so much to learn.

not necessary

Because of that, my days have become very busy.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 2-2


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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