Oct. 22, 2025
Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 1-2
One Exchange part2
Takeshi’s Letter: May 12, Showa 50 (1975)
To My Dearest You
Dear Kyoko,
Thank you for your letter. So, you’ve started a new life in a new town.
Meanwhile, I’ve been left behind, living the same old routine—but somehow, I’ve felt restless as spring arrived.
Receiving your letter made me feel like I can finally adjust to this new reality: one where you’re no longer next door.
The other day, I spoke with your mother.
She told me about your new life. It sounds like a comfortable town.
She kept saying it’s much more urban than ours—more people, more convenience—but also more worries about safety.
At the same time, she seemed proud that you’re working in a big city for a respectable company.
I felt so embarrassed that I ended up hiding the comic book I was holding behind my back.
Last week, I had another loud fight with my father.
He had supposedly given up on making me inherit Usagiya, but I guess he’s frustrated that I haven’t found a job or gone to college, and just stay in my room drawing manga when I’m not working part-time.
Of course, I’m the one to blame.
My parents must feel ashamed to have a son like me.
That’s why I made some rules for myself.
Even if I stay up all night drawing, I get up in the morning and eat meals on time. I pay rent and food expenses from my part-time wages, and I never wander outside during the day—neighbors and customers might see me.
Also, I never talk about manga in front of my parents. I know they don’t want to hear about it.
It’s my way of showing I’m not just freeloading.
And it helps me stay calm. If I lose control, I might give up on my dream of becoming a manga artist.
But then it happened. I took a comic book into the bathroom and forgot it there.
Before I realized, my father went in and found it.
He tore it to pieces and threw it away.
It was a rare book by the artist I admire most. You can’t find it anywhere in town now.
When I saw the shredded pages, I lost it. I stormed into the shop and yelled at him.
You can imagine the rest.
At least there were no customers at the time—that’s the only silver lining.
Reading this, I bet you’re frowning sadly.
I wanted to send you cheerful news, something to brighten your day in your new town.
But I’m afraid I don’t have anything uplifting to share right now.
So instead, I’ll draw your portrait here, as proof that I’m still at my desk every day, working hard.
What do you think? Have I improved?
Please be careful about locking your doors.
I’m not your mother, but I worry about the safety of your town too.
Sincerely,
Takeshi
Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella
One Exchange part2
Takeshi’s Letter:
May 12, Showa 50 (1975)
To My Dearest You
Dear Kyoko,
Thank you for your letter.
So, you’ve started a new life in a new town.
Meanwhile, I’ve been left behind, living in the same old routine—but somehow, I’ve felt restless as spring has arrived I've started to feel restless.
"stuck in" the same old routine could add more nuance. Or even, living "in" the same old routine could add more feeling of repetitiveness and undertones of sadness or a depression-like feeling. However, living the same routine is okay too, depending on what feeling you want.
I think the "I've felt restless as spring arrived" the grammar is fine. But maybe if you want, using a more passive and softer voice may convey a feeling of more I'm restless and I don't know why which adds to my restlessness. Maybe.
Receiving your letter made me feel like I can finally adjust to this new reality: one where you’re no longer next door.
The other day, I spoke with your mother.
She told me about your new life.
It sounds like a comfortable town.
She kept saying it’s much more urban than ours—more people, more conveniences—but also more worries. Worries about safety.
Maybe you can play with the punctuation a bit, for example more worries--worries about safety, but in that case maybe not the other dashes. I'm not sure to be honest but I feel like by breaking up the sentence, it adds more emphasis to worries, like worries outweigh the benefits. And this emphasizes that they are more worried about the safety than how great the new town is. You can even add worries about safety, loneliness, ...... and a long list....or just about safety emphasized....Up to you, just a suggestion as the grammar is correct in the original as well.
At the same time, she seemed proud that you’re working in a big city for such a respectable company.
not necessary correction
I felt so embarrassed that I ended up hiding the comic book I was holding behind my back.
Where did this sentence come from? I need a transition. Why was he so embarrassed? What made him hide the book? He was embarrassed because her mom said she was proud of her daughter?
Meanwhile, I was just reading a comic book, I felt so embarrassed that I ended up hiding it behind my back.
I was just caught a little off guard as to why he is embarrassed and from what, maybe just make it a little more clear.
Last week, I had another loud fight with my father.
He had supposedly given up on making me inherit Usagiya, but I guess he’s frustrated that I haven’t found a job or gone to college, and that I just stay in my room drawing manga when I’m not working part-time.
Of course, I’m the one to blame.
My parents must feel ashamed to have a son like me.
That’s why I made some rules for myself.
Even if I stay up all night drawing, I must get up in the morning on time and eat meals on time.
not necessary, but you can also take it further, I must get up in the morning on time and I must eat meals on time.
I pay rent and food expenses from my part-time wages, and I never wander outside during the day—neighbors and customers might see me.
I'm not sure as to why the last part, the part after the dash is here. I understand it implies he is very shy but how does it connect to the rules he set for himself. He gets up, he eats, he pays are all in the same category of trying to live a normal life I feel, but then the I don't wander outside because I don't want people to see me seems kind of out of the blue. Maybe if you said "but," instead of "and." Like from my part-time wages, BUT I never wander outside during the day. Or "however," or "still," or "yet."
But if not and you want to keep the "and I never...," I feel like I need something to tie in to why he is so shy or being shy.
Also, you can use "as" instead of --, like outside during the day as neighbors or customers might see me. But that is personal as I see you like using the dash, just an idea if you want to mix it up a bit
Also, I never talk about manga in front of my parents.
I know they don’t want to hear about it.
It’s my way of showing that I’m not just freeloading.
could move this sentence up to after the I pay rent and expenses sentence, along with the sentence after this one.
then you could move the two sentences above this, the ones about I never talk about it to my parents and they don't want to hear it, move these two sentences to the sentence after "I made some rules for myself.".....then just delete the "Also" in the sentence about never talk about manga in front of my parents.
just a suggestion though :)
And it helps me stay calm.
If I lose control, I might give up on my dream of becoming a manga artist.
But then it happened, recently.
not necessary but I felt that in a letter, I wouldn't talk about how if something happened, I would lose control, and then transition to saying "then it happened." It almost feels too predictable, like you were planning on writing about what happened the whole time and everything before was solely to set up me telling you something happened. But in conversation, I wouldn't set up my story so much, I would just tell the story. I don't want it to feel like everything before this was to prepare me for the story about to happen, I want this story to be part of the bigger story you are telling me.
I took a comic book into the bathroom and forgot it thereabout it.
not necessary, but I find most native speakers don't use "there" as it is usually implied. Especially when the word bathroom was used already.
Before I realized, my father wenthad gone in and found it.
not necessary
He tore it to pieces and threw it away.
It was a rare book by the artist I admire most.
You can’t find it anywhere in town now.
not necessary but I think the now is also unnecessary
When I saw the shredded pages, I lost it.
I stormed into the shop and yelled at him.
You can imagine the rest.
At least there were no customers at the time—that’s the only silver lining.
Reading this, I bet you’re frowning sadly.
I wanted to send you cheerful news, something to brighten your day in your new town.
But I’m afraid I don’t have anything uplifting to share right now.
So instead, I’ll draw your portrait here, as proof that I’m still at my desk every day, working hard.
What do you think?
Have I improved?
Please be careful about locking your doors.
I’m not your mother, but I worry about the safety of your town too.
Worried about your safety? or worried about the safety of your town? Both are fine but mean different things.
Sincerely,
Takeshi
Feedback
Very nice, I added my own thoughts and improvements, however, take them however you want as basically all the grammar is correct and makes sense. I hope it helps.
Oct. 24, 2025
>He was embarrassed because her mom said she was proud of her daughter?
Yes, this part reflects a distinctly Japanese tendency to be overly concerned with appearances and social reputation.
>But if not and you want to keep the "and I never...," I feel like I need something to tie in to why he is so shy or being shy.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful advice. As you pointed out, he is trying to live a normal life, but at the same time, he feels ashamed of himself for not living up to his parents’ expectations. This reflects not only the somewhat closed nature of Japanese society, but also the era in which the story takes place. My aim is for readers to sense the emotional weight he carries under such circumstances.
Thank you so much for all the helpful advice. It was incredibly insightful. This story is still ongoing, so I hope I can count on your support again when the opportunity arises!
Dear Kyoko,
Thank you for your letter.
So, you’ve started a new life in a new town.
Meanwhile, I’ve been left behind, living the same old routine—but somehow, I’ve feltfor some reason, I’ve been feeling restless asince spring arrived.
Receiving your letter made me feel like I can finally adjust to this new reality: one where you’re no longer next door.
The other day, I spoke with your mother.
She told me about your new life.
It sounds like a comfortable town.
She kept saying it’s much more urban than ours—more people, more conveniences—but also more worries about safety.
Here, "convenience" is a countable noun. If you meant to use the adjective, it would be "more convenient".
At the same time, she seemed proud that you’re working in a big city for a respectable company.
I felt so embarrassed that I ended up hiding the comic book I was holding behind my back.
Last week, I had another loud fight with my father.
He had supposedly given up on making me inherit Usagiya, but I guess he’s frustrated that I haven’t found a job or gone to college, and just stay in my room drawing manga when I’m not working part-time.
Of course, I’m the one to blame.
My parents must feel ashamed to have a son like me.
That’s why I made some rules for myself.
Even if I stay up all night drawing, I get up in the morning and eat meals on time.
I pay rent and food expenses fromwith my part-time wages, and I never wander outside during the day—neighbors and customers might see me.
Also, I never talk about manga in front of my parents.
I know they don’t want to hear about it.
It’s my way of showing I’m not just freeloading.
And it helps me stay calm.
If I lose control, I might give up on my dream of becoming a manga artist.
But then it happened.
I took a comic book into the bathroom and forgot it there.
Before I realized, my father went in and found it.
He tore it to pieces and threw it away.
It was a rare book by the artist I admire most.
You can’t find it anywhere in town now.
When I saw the shredded pages, I lost it.
I stormed into the shop and yelled at him.
You can imagine the rest.
At least there were no customers at the time—that’s the only silver lining.
Reading this, I bet you’re frowning sadly.
I wanted to send you cheerful news, something to brighten your day in your new town.
But I’m afraid I don’t have anything uplifting to share right now.
So instead, I’ll draw your portrait here, as proof that I’m still at my desk every day, working hard.
What do you think?
Have I improved?
Please be careful about locking your doors.
I’m not your mother, but I worry about the safety of your town too.
Sincerely,
Takeshi
Feedback
Natural writing.
Oct. 23, 2025
Thank you for your advice. I appreciate your help and hope to hear from you again.
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So instead, I’ll draw your portrait here, as proof that I’m still at my desk every day, working hard. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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What do you think? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Have I improved? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Please be careful about locking your doors. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I’m not your mother, but I worry about the safety of your town too. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I’m not your mother, but I worry about the safety of your town too. Worried about your safety? or worried about the safety of your town? Both are fine but mean different things. |
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Sincerely, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Takeshi This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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One Exchange part2 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Takeshi’s Letter: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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May 12, Showa 50 (1975) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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To My Dearest You This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Dear Kyoko, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Thank you for your letter. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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So, you’ve started a new life in a new town. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Meanwhile, I’ve been left behind, living the same old routine—but somehow, I’ve felt restless as spring arrived. Meanwhile, I’ve been left behind, living the same old routine—but Meanwhile, I’ve been left behind, living in the same old routine—but somehow, "stuck in" the same old routine could add more nuance. Or even, living "in" the same old routine could add more feeling of repetitiveness and undertones of sadness or a depression-like feeling. However, living the same routine is okay too, depending on what feeling you want. I think the "I've felt restless as spring arrived" the grammar is fine. But maybe if you want, using a more passive and softer voice may convey a feeling of more I'm restless and I don't know why which adds to my restlessness. Maybe. |
|
Receiving your letter made me feel like I can finally adjust to this new reality: one where you’re no longer next door. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The other day, I spoke with your mother. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
She told me about your new life. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It sounds like a comfortable town. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
She kept saying it’s much more urban than ours—more people, more convenience—but also more worries about safety. She kept saying it’s much more urban than ours—more people, more conveniences—but also more worries about safety. Here, "convenience" is a countable noun. If you meant to use the adjective, it would be "more convenient". She kept saying it’s much more urban than ours—more people, more conveniences—but also more worries. Worries about safety. Maybe you can play with the punctuation a bit, for example more worries--worries about safety, but in that case maybe not the other dashes. I'm not sure to be honest but I feel like by breaking up the sentence, it adds more emphasis to worries, like worries outweigh the benefits. And this emphasizes that they are more worried about the safety than how great the new town is. You can even add worries about safety, loneliness, ...... and a long list....or just about safety emphasized....Up to you, just a suggestion as the grammar is correct in the original as well. |
|
At the same time, she seemed proud that you’re working in a big city for a respectable company. This sentence has been marked as perfect! At the same time, she seemed proud that you’re working in a big city for such a respectable company. not necessary correction |
|
I felt so embarrassed that I ended up hiding the comic book I was holding behind my back. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I felt so embarrassed that I ended up hiding the comic book I was holding behind my back. Where did this sentence come from? I need a transition. Why was he so embarrassed? What made him hide the book? He was embarrassed because her mom said she was proud of her daughter? Meanwhile, I was just reading a comic book, I felt so embarrassed that I ended up hiding it behind my back. I was just caught a little off guard as to why he is embarrassed and from what, maybe just make it a little more clear. |
|
That’s why I made some rules for myself. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Even if I stay up all night drawing, I get up in the morning and eat meals on time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Even if I stay up all night drawing, I must get up in the morning on time and eat meals on time. not necessary, but you can also take it further, I must get up in the morning on time and I must eat meals on time. |
|
I pay rent and food expenses from my part-time wages, and I never wander outside during the day—neighbors and customers might see me. I pay rent and food expenses I pay rent and food expenses from my part-time wages, and I never wander outside during the day—neighbors and customers might see me. I'm not sure as to why the last part, the part after the dash is here. I understand it implies he is very shy but how does it connect to the rules he set for himself. He gets up, he eats, he pays are all in the same category of trying to live a normal life I feel, but then the I don't wander outside because I don't want people to see me seems kind of out of the blue. Maybe if you said "but," instead of "and." Like from my part-time wages, BUT I never wander outside during the day. Or "however," or "still," or "yet." But if not and you want to keep the "and I never...," I feel like I need something to tie in to why he is so shy or being shy. Also, you can use "as" instead of --, like outside during the day as neighbors or customers might see me. But that is personal as I see you like using the dash, just an idea if you want to mix it up a bit |
|
Also, I never talk about manga in front of my parents. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I know they don’t want to hear about it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It’s my way of showing I’m not just freeloading. This sentence has been marked as perfect! It’s my way of showing that I’m not just freeloading. could move this sentence up to after the I pay rent and expenses sentence, along with the sentence after this one. then you could move the two sentences above this, the ones about I never talk about it to my parents and they don't want to hear it, move these two sentences to the sentence after "I made some rules for myself.".....then just delete the "Also" in the sentence about never talk about manga in front of my parents. just a suggestion though :) |
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And it helps me stay calm. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
If I lose control, I might give up on my dream of becoming a manga artist. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
But then it happened. This sentence has been marked as perfect! But not necessary but I felt that in a letter, I wouldn't talk about how if something happened, I would lose control, and then transition to saying "then it happened." It almost feels too predictable, like you were planning on writing about what happened the whole time and everything before was solely to set up me telling you something happened. But in conversation, I wouldn't set up my story so much, I would just tell the story. I don't want it to feel like everything before this was to prepare me for the story about to happen, I want this story to be part of the bigger story you are telling me. |
|
I took a comic book into the bathroom and forgot it there. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I took a comic book into the bathroom and forgot not necessary, but I find most native speakers don't use "there" as it is usually implied. Especially when the word bathroom was used already. |
|
Before I realized, my father went in and found it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Before I realized, my father not necessary |
|
He tore it to pieces and threw it away. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It was a rare book by the artist I admire most. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
You can’t find it anywhere in town now. This sentence has been marked as perfect! You can’t find it anywhere in town not necessary but I think the now is also unnecessary |
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When I saw the shredded pages, I lost it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I stormed into the shop and yelled at him. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
You can imagine the rest. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
At least there were no customers at the time—that’s the only silver lining. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Reading this, I bet you’re frowning sadly. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I wanted to send you cheerful news, something to brighten your day in your new town. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
But I’m afraid I don’t have anything uplifting to share right now. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella 1-2 |
|
Last week, I had another loud fight with my father. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
He had supposedly given up on making me inherit Usagiya, but I guess he’s frustrated that I haven’t found a job or gone to college, and just stay in my room drawing manga when I’m not working part-time. This sentence has been marked as perfect! He had supposedly given up on making me inherit Usagiya, but I guess he’s frustrated that I haven’t found a job or gone to college, and that I just stay in my room drawing manga when I’m not working part-time. |
|
Of course, I’m the one to blame. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
My parents must feel ashamed to have a son like me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Correspondence: A Japanese Epistolary Novella This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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