Oct. 14, 2020
Competition in Labor Market
Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems this causes? What are the solutions?
To begin with, the youth face a lack of jobs in labor markets. This is because recruiters tend to choose their employees according to their work experience. It is quite clear that older people who meet the condition better than their young rivals will be the winners of the competition. This situation will cause conflicts and disappointments for the young members of society. The shortage of jobs for young people who have high hopes to conduct a comfortable life will diminish their quality of life. As a result, they might commit all kinds of offenses to satisfy their unmet needs. The consequences will not be limited to young people alone. For example, security in society will be reduced considerably.
To mitigate the effects of this issue, some measures can be taken by authorities. Retirement age can be reduced and retirement pensions can be increased, thereby improving the quality of life in older people and bringing a higher level of satisfaction to society. On the one hand, governments should provide additional resources for old people to encourage them to not return to work. On the other hand, job opportunities can be created for young people to increase their chances of finding desired jobs by attracting international companies to invest with tax incentives, for example.
In conclusion, the competition in the labor market between young people and older people leads to a lack of job opportunities and, in turn, causes problems for both young people and the other members of society. To tackle these issues, proper steps can be taken by authorities such as providing more job opportunities and improving the quality of retiree’s lives.
Competition in the Labor Market
Nowadays, more and more older people who needing employment compete with younger people for the same jobs.
What problems does this causes?
What are the solutions?
To begin with, the youth face a lack of jobs in the labor markets.
This is because recruiters tend to choose their employees according to their work experience.
It is quite clear that older people who meet the conditionrequirements better than their younger rivals will be the winners of the competition.
This situation will cause conflicts and disappointments for the younger members of society.
The shortage of jobs for young people who have high hopes to conducthave a comfortable life will diminish their quality of life.
As a result, they might commit all kinds of offenscrimes to satisfy their unmet needs.
The consequences will not be limited to young people alone.
For example, securiafety in society will be reduced considerably.
RThe retirement age canould be reduced and retirement pensions canould be increased, thereby improving the quality of life in older people and bringing a higher level of satisfaction to society.
On the one hand, governments should provide additional resources for old people to encourage them to not return to work.
On the other hand, job opportunities can be created for young people to increase their chances of finding desired jobs by attracting international companies to invest with tax incentives, for example.
I've removed the word "hand" here because it was stated in the last sentence and it is thus implied here/slightly repetitive to include.
I don't really think the construction of "on one hand... on the other" is a good choice here. Generally this phrasing is used with two things that are slight opposites, such as something good and something bad.
For example:
On the one hand, I like Sam. On the other, Sam doesn't like me.
In conclusion, the competition in the labor market between young people and older people leads to a lack of job opportunities and, in turn, causes problems for both young people and the other members of society.
To tackle these issues, proper steps can be taken by authorities such as providing more job opportunities and improving the quality of retiree’s lives.
Feedback
Hey nice job. This is a fairly complicated topic, and you've done a good job communicating it. I've tried to stay quite close to your writing with my corrections.
Oct. 20, 2020
I'd really appreciate it. That's nice of you to say that.
Competition in the Labor Market
Nowadays, more and more older people who need employmento compete with younger people for the same jobs.
What problems does this causes?
What are the solutions?
To begin with, the youthyounger people face a lack of jobs in today's labor markets.
This is because recruiters tend to choose their employecandidates according to their work experience.
I changed employees to candidates, because recruiters generally screen people and managers generally end up making employment decisions. This may not be true in your country, so ignore my correction if i'm wrong.
It is quite clearnot surprising that older people who better meet the condition betterjob requirements than their younger rivals will be the winners of the competition.
This job situation will cause conflicts and disappointments for the younger members of society.
The shortage of jobs forIt will also cause young people, who have high hopes to conductfor a comfortable life will, to diminish their quality of their life.
As a result, they mightay commit all kinds of offenses to satisfy their unmetmeet their needs.
The consequences will not be limited to young people alone.
For example, security in society will be reduced considerably.
are you trying to say "crime rates"?
To mitigate the effects of this job issue, some measures can be taken by authorities.
Retirement age canould be reduced and retirement pensions canould be increased, thereby improving the quality of life infor older people and bringcreating a higher level of satisfaction tolevel for everyone in our society.
On the one hand, gGovernments should provide additional resourcincentives for old people to encourage them to not return tostop working.
OnAt the other hand,same time, more job opportunities canshould be created for young people tso increase their chances ofthat they could finding desirabled jobs by. For example, government could attracting international companies to invest in their country with tax incentives, for example.
In conclusion, the competition in the labor market between the young people and older peopleand the old leads to a lack of job opportunities for the young, and, in turn, causes problems for both young people and the other members of society.many members of society.Proper steps must be taken to create job opportunities and improve the quality of older people once they retire.
To tackle these issues, proper steps can be taken by authorities such as providing more job opportunities and improving the quality of retiree’s lives.
I combined your last two sentences. "In conclusion" should be your last paragraph. You don't use it and then follow up with another one.
Feedback
I feel for your concerns and agree that government should do more to address these issues.
Oct. 20, 2020
Thank you for the correction. That was great.
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Competition in Labor Market Competition in the Labor Market Competition in the Labor Market |
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Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with younger people for the same jobs. Nowadays, more and more older people Nowadays, more and more older people |
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What problems this causes? What problems does this cause What problems does this cause |
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What are the solutions? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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To begin with, the youth face a lack of jobs in labor markets. To begin with, To begin with, the youth face a lack of jobs in the labor market |
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This is because recruiters tend to choose their employees according to their work experience. This is because recruiters tend to choose their I changed employees to candidates, because recruiters generally screen people and managers generally end up making employment decisions. This may not be true in your country, so ignore my correction if i'm wrong. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It is quite clear that older people who meet the condition better than their young rivals will be the winners of the competition. It is It is quite clear that older people who meet the |
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This situation will cause conflicts and disappointments for the young members of society. This situation will cause conflicts and disappointments for the younger members of society. This job situation will cause conflicts and disappointments for the younger members of society. |
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The shortage of jobs for young people who have had high hopes to conduct a comfortable life will diminish their quality of life. |
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As a result, they might commit all kinds of offenses to satisfy their unmet needs. As a result, they m As a result, they might commit all kinds of |
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The consequences will not be limited to young people alone. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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For example, security in society will be reduced considerably. For example, security in society will be reduced considerably. are you trying to say "crime rates"? For example, s |
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To mitigate the effects of this issue, some measures can be taken by authorities. To mitigate the effect |
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Retirement age can be reduced and retirement pensions can be increased, thereby improving the quality of life in older people and bringing a higher level of satisfaction to society. Retirement age c
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On the one hand, governments should provide additional resources for old people to encourage them to not return to work.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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On the other hand, job opportunities can be created for young people to increase their chances of finding desired jobs by attracting international companies to invest with tax incentives, for example.
On the other I've removed the word "hand" here because it was stated in the last sentence and it is thus implied here/slightly repetitive to include. I don't really think the construction of "on one hand... on the other" is a good choice here. Generally this phrasing is used with two things that are slight opposites, such as something good and something bad. For example: On the one hand, I like Sam. On the other, Sam doesn't like me. |
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In conclusion, the competition in the labor market between young people and older people leads to a lack of job opportunities and, in turn, causes problems for both young people and the other members of society. In conclusion, In conclusion, the competition in the labor market between young people and older people leads to a lack of job opportunities and |
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To tackle these issues, proper steps can be taken by authorities such as providing more job opportunities and improving the quality of retiree’s lives.
I combined your last two sentences. "In conclusion" should be your last paragraph. You don't use it and then follow up with another one. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The shortage of jobs for young people who have high hopes to conduct a comfortable life will diminish their quality of life.
The shortage of jobs for young people who have high hopes to |
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