Aug. 9, 2020
climate change effects #2
Growing climate is the cost of human progress, in my opinion. Climate change will be a process of human' progress, and this issue would be worse in the future. In the previous decade, the increasingly poor climate quality had led to irreversible change around the world. For example, glaciers are melting, the ozone layer is thinning and natural resources are declining. The uncontrolled use of free natural resources has, to say the least, become more dangerous than it was when it first started. It is clear that humans feverishly chase benefits without considering the cost. The depletion of limited natural resources and pollution of the ocean seem like signs that humans are causing the earth to fall in an abysmal apocalypse. But on the other hand, human interference with nature could contribute to society and a thriving economy. It had reflected the point of why climate change issues don't be mitigated. Because for some, the price is high, some are not. It is distaste for me to discuss the climate issue with some "environmentalist". In my opinion, issues those topics with the " environmentalists", it likes talking with people, who live in vain as immortal. Some " environmentalists" just like speech about numbers and payback. Be honest, that like a professor, but not people. For some poverty countries, they need to depend on their natural resources to develop the economy and stretch their influence in the world. For some wealthier countries, they had done through a hard time. So that is the reason why most "environmentalists" come from rich countries. They don't need to take the burden to lives. That is a life which never straightforwardly linear, as well as shifting relationships between flawed, fickle human beings are messier still.
cClimate cChange eEffects #2
The other correction for "The Effects of Climate Change" is a very good one if you want to go more formal. But I don't see a problem with your phrasing in something like this other than the capitalization.
GrowIn my opinion, increasing climate change is the cost of human progress, in my opinion.
I feel like using "growing" in this way is generally OK, but some people would argue that "growing" is only something that living things can do. "Increasing" feels a little cleaner, but yours definitely isn't wrong.
Climate change will be a processis the result of human' progress, and this issue wouldill be worse in the future.
In the previous decade, the increasingly poor climate quality hads led to irreversible change around the world.
For example, glaciers are melting, the ozone layer is thinning and natural resources are declining.
The uncontrolled use of free natural resources has, to say the least, become more dangerous than it was when it first started.
It is clear that humans feverishly chase benefits without considering the cost.
The depletion of limited natural resources and pollution of the ocean seem like signs that humans are causing the earth to fall into an abysmal apocalypse.
But on the other hand, human interference with nature could contribute to society and create a thriving economy.
It had reflecteds on the point of why climate change issues don't need to be mitigated.
Because for some, the price is high, some arefor others it is not.
It is distasteful for me to discuss the climate issue with some "environmentalists".
In my opinion, issuestalking about thoese topics with the " environmentalists", its likes talking with people, who live in vain asas though they were immortal.
Some " environmentalists" just like speech about numbers and payback.
BTo be honest, that's acting like a professor, but not peopleas a normal person.
For sSome povertyor countries, they need to depend on their natural resources to develop their economy and stretch their influence in the world.
For some wWealthier countries, they had d may have gone through a hard times and made an impact on the world already.
They don't need to taketake into account the burden ton others' lives.
That is a life whichLife is never straightforwardly linear, as well asnd shifting relationships between flawed, fickle human beings are messier still.
Aug. 10, 2020
thank your feedback. Could you give me any suggestions for the improvement of my writing, please?
Aug. 10, 2020
Sure! The first thing would be the use of paragraphs to break up your text. It's hard to read big blocks of text like that. I would probably have made new paragraphs at "It is clear that humans..." and "In my opinion...".
Also, your text tends to jump around a lot. You're talking about glaciers melting, then all of a sudden switch to natural resource depletion. Then talking about human nature, then depletion again, and so on. You should try to organize your thoughts a bit more cleanly and make transitions between them.
If I were to rewrite your text in a way that feels more nature and flows cleanly it might look something like this:
In my opinion, climate change is the cost of human progress. Our uncontrolled use of natural resources has already had significant impact on our world's climate. The ozone layer is thinning, temperatures are rising, glaciers are melting, and our precious natural resources are disappearing. This uncontrolled use of natural resources seems as though it will only worsen as human population grows and poor countries progress to greater levels of development.
It may seem as though through climate change mankind is causing the earth to fall into an abysmal apocalypse. But, for some, this depletion is the cost of their growth. Rich countries may draw from our natural resources far more than they need to, but for poor countries some of this consumption is part of their societal growth. They need to use the same resources that rich countries have already used in order to progress.
I struggle to discuss the issue of climate change with some environmentalists. They seem to only want to talk about the data around climate change and the cost of human activity, but they fail to account for this issue of others' need to progress. For them, the careless consumption of a rich society is the same as the basic need fulfillment as a poor one. Without this consumption, poor countries will struggle to progress.
The world is a complicated place with many very difficult problems, but human beings are flawed and can often have narrow, self-centered views. I think that this is the reason that most environmentalists seem to come from rich countries. They do not think as much about the relative needs of different societies in a complex world. If they want to both effectively and fairly fight the issue of climate change they do it with more consideration for those who have less than they do.
This definitely isn't the only right way, but hopefully it will give you some idea of how you can improve your writing overall. I hope this helps!
Aug. 10, 2020
It looks like the website mangled some of my formatting making it hard to see where I put the paragraph breaks. I'll try that again with a line that just says XXX between paragraphs.:
In my opinion, climate change is the cost of human progress. Our uncontrolled use of natural resources has already had significant impact on our world's climate. The ozone layer is thinning, temperatures are rising, glaciers are melting, and our precious natural resources are disappearing. This uncontrolled use of natural resources seems as though it will only worsen as human population grows and poor countries progress to greater levels of development.
XXX
It may seem as though through climate change mankind is causing the earth to fall into an abysmal apocalypse. But, for some, this depletion is the cost of their growth. Rich countries may draw from our natural resources far more than they need to, but for poor countries some of this consumption is part of their societal growth. They need to use the same resources that rich countries have already used in order to progress.
XXX
I struggle to discuss the issue of climate change with some environmentalists. They seem to only want to talk about the data around climate change and the cost of human activity, but they fail to account for this issue of others' need to progress. For them, the careless consumption of a rich society is the same as the basic need fulfillment as a poor one. Without this consumption, poor countries will struggle to progress.
XXX
The world is a complicated place with many very difficult problems, but human beings are flawed and can often have narrow, self-centered views. I think that this is the reason that most environmentalists seem to come from rich countries. They do not think as much about the relative needs of different societies in a complex world. If they want to both effectively and fairly fight the issue of climate change they do it with more consideration for those who have less than they do.
Aug. 11, 2020
that is perfect. I surprised you paid a lot of patience to my writing. I am so glad that you helped me. And the whole short essay is perfect for me. That is the best command I got for those days. I took your suggestions. it is very helpful to me knowing how to improve my writing. After I read your command, again and again, I already know where my problems with it. It seem my essay jump a lot. I think I should write some draft frame before I start.
your words great, more nationalized. And it is very close to what I want to say. But the problems to me, it is not my ways I write. that is a little hard for me remember. So this is possible I rewrite the whole essay basing your notes by my writing way. I maybe edit a lot on my write and post on Langcorrect in the next few days. So Could you take a look, please?
Thank you very much. pleasantly
Aug. 11, 2020
I'm glad it was helpful! I'd be happy to review your next version, you can even send me a message when you have it up if I don't see it at first.
Aug. 12, 2020
I posted the first paragraph. Could you take a look? please
In the beginning, I changed the words. Making soften start. Like, set a scene (background). Is it good as an essay beginning like that?
your feedback will be very helpful for me, thank you very much.
cThe Effects of Climate cChange effects #2
Growing climateIn my opinion, growing amounts of climate destruction is the cost of human progress, in my opinion.
Generally, people say "in my opinion" in the beginning of the sentence as an independent clause.
Climate change will beis a process of human' progress, and this issue would bill become worse in the future.
In the previous decade, the increasingly poor climate quality hads led to irreversible change around the world.
For example, glaciers are melting, the ozone layer is thinning and natural resources are declining.
The uncontrolled use of free natural resources has, to say the least, become more dangerous than it was when it first started.
It is clear that humans feverishly chase benefits without considering the cost.
The depletion of limited natural resources and pollution of the ocean seem like signs warning that humans are causing the earth to fall into an abysmal apocalypse.
But on the other hand, human interference with nature could contribute to society and a thriving economy (contribute to society to create a thriving economy).
This sentence depends on the order of what would happen. When people interfere with nature, do they contribute to society and then their contributions make a better economy? Or is the economy already thriving and the two events are happening at the same time?
It hads reflected the point ofn why climate change issues don't seem to be mitigated.
Because fFor some, the price is high, and for some areit's not.
"Because" isn't necessary.
It is distasteful for me to discuss the climate issues with some "environmentalists".
In my opinion, the issues with discussing thoese topics with the " "environmentalists", its that it's likes talking withto people, who live in vain as if they were immortal.
Some " environmentalists" just like to make speeches about numbers and paybackrewards/benefits/reimbursement.
"Payback" is used more in a sense when there's vengeance/revenge, i.e. "That's payback for when you stole my wallet!" If you want to talk about someone literally paying you back, you can use the words listed above.
BTo be honest, that's acting like a professor, but not people rather than acting like a fellow human.
I'm not sure if this correction is what you originally meant. If it's not, maybe you could write the original sentence in Chinese?
For some povertyor countries/countries in poverty/third-world countries, they need to depend on their natural resources to develop their economy and stretch their influence in the world.
For some wealthier countries, they had done through a hard timeve already done that and have made their impact on the world.
Same as the correction a few sentences back; I'm not sure if this correction reflects your original intent.
So tThat is the reason why most "environmentalists" come from rich countries.
They don't need to takeconsider the burden ton other lives.
That is a life whichLife is never straightforwardly or linear, as well asnd shifting relationships between flawed, fickle human beings are messier stilly.
I'm not sure what this sentence is supposed to mean in context with your writing.
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climate change effects #2
The other correction for "The Effects of Climate Change" is a very good one if you want to go more formal. But I don't see a problem with your phrasing in something like this other than the capitalization. |
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Growing climate is the cost of human progress, in my opinion.
Generally, people say "in my opinion" in the beginning of the sentence as an independent clause.
I feel like using "growing" in this way is generally OK, but some people would argue that "growing" is only something that living things can do. "Increasing" feels a little cleaner, but yours definitely isn't wrong. |
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Climate change will be a process of human' progress, and this issue would be worse in the future. Climate change Climate change |
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In the previous decade, the increasingly poor climate quality had led to irreversible change around the world. In the previous decade, In the previous decade, the increasingly poor climate quality ha |
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For example, glaciers are melting, the ozone layer is thinning and natural resources are declining. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The uncontrolled use of free natural resources has, to say the least, become more dangerous than it was when it first started. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It is clear that humans feverishly chase benefits without considering the cost. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The depletion of limited natural resources and pollution of the ocean seem like signs that humans are causing the earth to fall in an abysmal apocalypse. The depletion of limited natural resources and pollution of the ocean seem like signs warning that humans are causing the earth to fall into an abysmal apocalypse. The depletion of limited natural resources and pollution of the ocean seem like signs that humans are causing the earth to fall into an abysmal apocalypse. |
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But on the other hand, human interference with nature could contribute to society and a thriving economy. But on the other hand, human interference with nature could contribute to society and a thriving economy (contribute to society to create a thriving economy). This sentence depends on the order of what would happen. When people interfere with nature, do they contribute to society and then their contributions make a better economy? Or is the economy already thriving and the two events are happening at the same time? But on the other hand, human interference with nature could contribute to society and create a thriving economy. |
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It had reflected the point of why climate change issues don't be mitigated. It ha It |
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Because for some, the price is high, some are not.
"Because" isn't necessary. Because for some, the price is high, |
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It is distaste for me to discuss the climate issue with some "environmentalist". It is distasteful for me to discuss It is distasteful for me to discuss the climate issue with some "environmentalists". |
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In my opinion, issues those topics with the " environmentalists", it likes talking with people, who live in vain as immortal. In my opinion, the issue In my opinion, |
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Some " environmentalists" just like speech about numbers and payback. Some " "Payback" is used more in a sense when there's vengeance/revenge, i.e. "That's payback for when you stole my wallet!" If you want to talk about someone literally paying you back, you can use the words listed above. Some " |
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Be honest, that like a professor, but not people.
I'm not sure if this correction is what you originally meant. If it's not, maybe you could write the original sentence in Chinese?
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For some poverty countries, they need to depend on their natural resources to develop the economy and stretch their influence in the world. For some po
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For some wealthier countries, they had done through a hard time. For some wealthier countries, they ha Same as the correction a few sentences back; I'm not sure if this correction reflects your original intent.
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So that is the reason why most "environmentalists" come from rich countries.
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They don't need to take the burden to lives. They don't need to They don't |
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That is a life which never straightforwardly linear, as well as shifting relationships between flawed, fickle human beings are messier still.
I'm not sure what this sentence is supposed to mean in context with your writing.
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