Aug. 23, 2022
Chapter 9: Granpa Joe Takes a Gamble
As the title says, Granpa Joe risked everyting he had to gave Charlie another chance. Previously, Charlie was unsuccessful looking for the Golden ticket. Therefore, Granpa Joe was as sad as Charlie because of that, and he wanted to tried one more time risking all the money he had. He jus wanted to bring hope to Charlie. At the end, they both failed looking for that ticket again.
Another summary.
Chapter 9: Grandpa Joe Takes a Gamble
As the title says, Granpa Joe risked everyting he had to gaive Charlie another chance.
Past tense
Previously, Charlie was unsuccessful when looking for the Golden ticket.
Good use of gerund — make this an exemplary sentence!!
Therefore, Grandpa Joe was as sad as Charlie because of thatis, and he wanted to triedy one more time; risking all the money he had.
Therefore is very formal, your tone is colloquial so ive changed it
He just wanted to bring hope to Charlie.
AtIn the end, they both failed looking for thatto find a ticket again.
Always “in the end”
Chapter 9: Grandpa Joe Takes a Gamble
As the title says, Grandpa Joe risked everything he had to gave Charlie another chance.
Previously, Charlie wasCharlie had so far been unsuccessful lookingin his search for thea Golden ticket.
If you mean in another chapter, "Previously" is fine.
ThereforeBecause of this, Grandpa Joe was just as sad as Charlie because of that, and h. He wanted to triedy one more time, risking all the money he had.
At the end, however, they both failed looking forto find that ticket again.
"failed looking" makes it sound like they didn't even try or are visually impaired.
Feedback
Good job!
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Chapter 9: Granpa Joe Takes a Gamble Chapter 9: Grandpa Joe Takes a Gamble Chapter 9: Grandpa Joe Takes a Gamble |
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As the title says, Granpa Joe risked everyting he had to gave Charlie another chance. As the title says, Grandpa Joe risked everything he had to gave Charlie another chance. As the title says, Granpa Joe risked everyting he had to g Past tense |
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Previously, Charlie was unsuccessful looking for the Golden ticket.
If you mean in another chapter, "Previously" is fine. Previously, Charlie was unsuccessful when looking for the Golden ticket. Good use of gerund — make this an exemplary sentence!! |
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Therefore, Granpa Joe was as sad as Charlie because of that, and he wanted to tried one more time risking all the money he had.
Therefore is very formal, your tone is colloquial so ive changed it |
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He jus wanted to bring hope to Charlie. He just wanted to bring hope to Charlie. |
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At the end, they both failed looking for that ticket again. At the end, however, they both failed "failed looking" makes it sound like they didn't even try or are visually impaired.
Always “in the end” |
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