April 9, 2023
Bullying at school
The increase in school violence is worrying, specifically among the youngest. While bullies typically have used violence against other students, now the use of the internet and social media becomes a form of bullying.
There are fewer barriers for bullies to tease, threaten and spread rumors about the victims. For example, some students try to make friends on the internet, as they are isolated because of their lack of self-esteem and social abilities. With this, they might be able to do this anymore as they fear that bullies will find them on the internet. As a consequence, bullies' victims have a safe place or environment neither at home nor at school.
In addition, they also have the facility of remaining anonymous on the internet, so they can't easily be punished and tracked. For example, you don't need to put any personal information when you create an account on many social media, such as Twitter or Instagram. Therefore, it is rather convenient for bullies.
In conclusion, bullying is a serious problem as many minors commit suicide because of getting bullied every year, and that is unacceptable. Therefore, I think it is of vital importance to take action rapidly as adolescents and especially children don't talk about it until it is too late.
Bullying at sSchool
The increase in school violence is worrying, especifically among the youngest.
While bullies typically have used violence against other students, now the use of the internet and social media has becomes a form of bullyingway to bully people.
"Use" is the subject so "has" is the singular verb form.
There are fewer barriers for bullies to tease, threaten and spread rumors about the victims.
For example, some students try to make friends on the internet, as they are isolated because of their lack of self-esteem and social abilities.
With thisBecause of internet and social media bullying, they might not be able to do this any more asbecause they fear that bullies will find them on the internet.
As a consequence, bullies' victims have a safe place or environment neither at home nor at school.
In addition, theybullies also have the facility of remaining anonymous on the internet, so they can't easily be punishtracked and trackpunished.
The "they" isn't clear so I replaced it with "bullies."
They're tracked first and then punished.
For example, you don't need to putenter any personal information when you create an account on many social media, such as Twitter or Instagram.
Therefore, it is rather convenient for bullies.
In conclusion, bullying is a serious problem as many minors commit suicide because of getting bullied every year, and that is unacceptable.
Therefore, I think it is of vital importance to take action rapidquickly as adolescents and especially children don't talk about it until it is too late.
"Rapidly" sounds strange to me here.
Feedback
Nice work!
April 10, 2023
Thanks! ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔ
Bullying at school
The increase in school violence is worrying, specifically among the youngesth.
'youth' sounds a bit more natural.
While bullies typically have used violence against other students, now the use of the internet and social media has becomes a form of bullying.
There are fewer barriers for bullies to tease, threaten and spread rumors about the victims.
For example, some students try to make friends on the internet, as they are isolated because of their lack of self-esteem and social abilities.
With this, they might not be able to do this anymore as they fear that bullies will find them on the internet.
As a consequence, bullies' victims don't have a safe place or environment neither at home nor at school.
In addition, theybullies also have the faciliulty of remaining anonymous on the internet, so they can't easily be punished and tracked.
Since you were talking about the victims in your previous sentence, in this sentence your 'they' makes it seem like you're still talking about the victims. If you switch about who you're talking about, make sure to specify the name. In this case, 'bullies'
For example, you don't need to put any personal information when you create an account on many social medias, such as Twitter or Instagram.
Therefore, it is rather convenient for bullies.
In conclusion, bullying is a serious problem as many minors commit suicide because of getting bullied every year, and that is unacceptable.
Therefore, I think it is of vital importance to take action rapidly as adolescents and especially children don't talk about it until it is too late.
Feedback
Really advanced writing! Only a couple minor mistakes or corrections.
April 9, 2023
Thank you very much! Your corrections are a big help :)
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Bullying at school This sentence has been marked as perfect! Bullying at |
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The increase in school violence is worrying, specifically among the youngest. The increase in school violence is worrying, specifically among the you 'youth' sounds a bit more natural. The increase in school violence is worrying, especi |
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While bullies typically have used violence against other students, now the use of the internet and social media becomes a form of bullying. While bullies typically have used violence against other students, now the use of the internet and social media has become While bullies typically have used violence against other students, now the use of the internet and social media has become "Use" is the subject so "has" is the singular verb form. |
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There are fewer barriers for bullies to tease, threaten and spread rumors about the victims. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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For example, some students try to make friends on the internet, as they are isolated because of their lack of self-esteem and social abilities. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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With this, they might be able to do this anymore as they fear that bullies will find them on the internet. With this, they might not be able to do this anymore as they fear that bullies will find them on the internet.
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As a consequence, bullies' victims have a safe place or environment neither at home nor at school. As a consequence, bullies' victims don't have a safe place or environment This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In addition, they also have the facility of remaining anonymous on the internet, so they can't easily be punished and tracked. In addition, Since you were talking about the victims in your previous sentence, in this sentence your 'they' makes it seem like you're still talking about the victims. If you switch about who you're talking about, make sure to specify the name. In this case, 'bullies' In addition, The "they" isn't clear so I replaced it with "bullies." They're tracked first and then punished. |
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For example, you don't need to put any personal information when you create an account on many social media, such as Twitter or Instagram. For example, you don't need to put any personal information when you create an account on many social medias, such as Twitter or Instagram. For example, you don't need to |
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Therefore, it is rather convenient for bullies. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In conclusion, bullying is a serious problem as many minors commit suicide because of getting bullied every year, and that is unacceptable. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Therefore, I think it is of vital importance to take action rapidly as adolescents and especially children don't talk about it until it is too late. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Therefore, I think it is of vital importance to take action "Rapidly" sounds strange to me here. |
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