yesterday
Brother's life
He was born in St-Barthelemy, a french island in Carribean.
He was one of the last newborn here, because the maternity closed after that.
We don't have the same father, so when he was fourteen years old, he went definitely in St-Barth with his father.
After that, he worked on the island, like a barman and waiter.
He met his future wife at work. She was a customer who reside in Florida, but she was french.
After a lot of obstacles to stay in U.S.A, he decided to marry with her.
It was a beautiful mariage, because the family of this wife is really wealthy. (for exemple, the aunt, the richest, have a movie theater on her house and a helicopter on the garden)
Actually, my brother dwell on a pretty house in Florida with his two sons and he work in the Four Seasons hotel.
My Brother's lLife
Remember to capitalize every letter in a title (except for little words, like "the" or "in).
HeMy brother was born in St-Barthelemy, a fFrench island in Carribean.
I changed the subject to "my brother". Even though we know you're talking about your brother based on the title, it's more natural to start the first sentence of a story by clarifying who you're talking about.
He was one of the last newborns here, because the maternity ward closed after that.
"Newborn" should be plural since there are many, so I switched it to "newborns".
We call it a "maternity ward".
WeMy brother and I don't have the same father, so when he was fourteen years old, he went definitelyto live in St-Barth with his father.
"We" is a big vague so I just clarified with "My brother and I" instead. Just changed "he went definitely in" to "he went to live in". This is more specific to what he was doing.
After that, he worked on the island, like as a barman and waiter.
"Like" would mean that he did a job that was similar to barman and waiter. "As" means that he was a barman and waiter.
He met his future wife at work.
She was a customer who residelived in Florida, but she was fFrench.
"Lived" is a bit more natural. Remember to capitalize proper nouns like "French".
After a lot of obstacles to stay in U.S.A, he decided to marry with her.
We just say "to marry her" not "to marry with her".
It was a beautiful marriage, because the family of this wife is really wealthy.
"Marriage" is spelled with two r's.
(fFor exeample, the aunt, who is the richest, haves a movie theater oin her house and a helicopter oin the garden).
Just a minor spelling error. I see you're using some of the French spellings (exemple vs example). Tricky because the words are so similar! Your sentence refers to the aunt, so your verb here should be singular - "the aunt has" instead of "the aunt have".
ActuallyNow, my brother dwell olives in a pretty house in Florida with his two sons, and he works in the Four Seasons hotel.
"Now" would fit better here because you're referencing his current life. "Lives" is more natural than "dwells" here. The subject of your sentence is "he" so make sure you match the right verb conjugation: "he lives" and "he works" instead of "he live" and "he work".
Feedback
Just a few minor errors here, but you're doing great! Remember to capitalize proper nouns and be careful to verify the English spelling of words that are similar to your French words. Otherwise, great job! Glad to hear your brother is living it up!
My Brother's lLife
He was born in St-aint Bartheélemy, a fFrench island in the Carribbean Sea.
It looks like they fully spell out "Saint" in the official English name, so let's do that here, at least for the first time it's mentioned.
He was one of the last newborn s there, because the maternity ward closed down after that.
We don't have the same father, so w. When he was fourteen years old, he went definitely in St-Barth with his father to St. Barths.
Using the abbreviated form is okay at this point, because we used the full form in the first sentence.
After that, he worked on the island, like as a barman and a waiter.
He met his future wife at work.
She was a customer who was also French, but resided in Florida, but she was french.
After encountering a lot of obstacles to staying in the U.S.A., he decided to marry with her.
It wasThey had a beautiful mariagewedding, because the family of this wife iwas really wealthy.
If I'm guessing what you intended to write correctly, this is a nicer rephrasing.
(fFor exeample, the aunt, who was the richest in their family, haved a movie theater on her house and a helicopter on ther garden.)
Actually, mMy brother dwellnow lives on a pretty house in Florida with his two sons and he work in. He now works at the Four Seasons hHotel.
yesterday
Thank you. :)
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Brother's life My Brother's My Brother's Remember to capitalize every letter in a title (except for little words, like "the" or "in). |
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He was born in St-Barthelemy, a french island in Carribean. He was born in S It looks like they fully spell out "Saint" in the official English name, so let's do that here, at least for the first time it's mentioned.
I changed the subject to "my brother". Even though we know you're talking about your brother based on the title, it's more natural to start the first sentence of a story by clarifying who you're talking about. |
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He was one of the last newborn here, because the maternity closed after that. He was one of the last newborn He was one of the last newborns here, because the maternity ward closed after that. "Newborn" should be plural since there are many, so I switched it to "newborns". We call it a "maternity ward". |
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We don't have the same father, so when he was fourteen years old, he went definitely in St-Barth with his father. We don't have the same father Using the abbreviated form is okay at this point, because we used the full form in the first sentence.
"We" is a big vague so I just clarified with "My brother and I" instead. Just changed "he went definitely in" to "he went to live in". This is more specific to what he was doing. |
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After that, he worked on the island, like a barman and waiter. After that, he worked on the island After that, he worked on the island "Like" would mean that he did a job that was similar to barman and waiter. "As" means that he was a barman and waiter. |
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He met his future wife at work. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She was a customer who reside in Florida, but she was french. She was a customer who was also French, but resided in Florida She was a customer who "Lived" is a bit more natural. Remember to capitalize proper nouns like "French". |
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After a lot of obstacles to stay in U.S.A, he decided to marry with her. After encountering a lot of obstacles to staying in the U.S.A., he decided to marry After a lot of obstacles to stay in U.S.A, he decided to marry We just say "to marry her" not "to marry with her". |
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It was a beautiful mariage, because the family of this wife is really wealthy.
If I'm guessing what you intended to write correctly, this is a nicer rephrasing. It was a beautiful marriage "Marriage" is spelled with two r's. |
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(for exemple, the aunt, the richest, have a movie theater on her house and a helicopter on the garden) ( ( Just a minor spelling error. I see you're using some of the French spellings (exemple vs example). Tricky because the words are so similar! Your sentence refers to the aunt, so your verb here should be singular - "the aunt has" instead of "the aunt have". |
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Actually, my brother dwell on a pretty house in Florida with his two sons and he work in the Four Seasons hotel.
"Now" would fit better here because you're referencing his current life. "Lives" is more natural than "dwells" here. The subject of your sentence is "he" so make sure you match the right verb conjugation: "he lives" and "he works" instead of "he live" and "he work". |
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