Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

May 17, 2023

2
Brainwashing

Yesterday, I had a wonderful walking hike with several classmates. Afterward, we drank beer and alcohol while having a hot pot at a small restaurant. We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health and even god, it was totally a free and casual talk. One particular words from a friend, however, inspired me to write this entry today.

My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior school, as a result, he walks like a hunchback for decades. Therefore, he was often behind us when walking and we had to frequently stop for a while and wait for him, though we didn't mind that. He told us that he spends most of his time watching TV with his 80-year-old father, mainly tuned CCTV news, and both of them were brainwashed by the government media.

He said that the peasants in China are the greatest people in the world because they had saved the world economy in the international financial crisis in 1998 and 2008. I absolutely didn't agree with him but didn't express my disagreement at that moment. I have no idea that how peasants in China are able to save the world, and how ridiculous and amusing it is for me to hear that.

Next time, I will share how my friend was disabled in junior school.

Corrections

Brainwashing

Yesterday, I had a wonderful walking hike with several classmates.

It sounds better with just "hike" because we know you're walking during your hike.

Afterward, we drank beer and other alcohol while having a hot pot at a small restaurant.

We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health andto even god, i. It was a totally a free and casual talk.

楽しそうです!

One particular wordsA certain story from a friend, however, inspired me to write this entry today.

Nice use of "however"!

My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior high school and, as a result, he has walksed like a hunchback for decades.

Therefore, he was often behind us when walking and we had to frequently stop for a while and wait for him, though we didn't mind that.

He told us that he spends most of his time watching TV with his 80- year- old father, mainly tuned to CCTV news, andso both of them werehave been brainwashed by the government media.

He said that the peasantpeople in the lower class in China are the greatest people in the world because they had saved the world economy during the international financial crisis in 1998 and 2008.

I absolutely didn't agree with him but didn't express my disagreement at that moment.

I have no idea that how peasanthow the lower class in China areis able to save the world, and h. How ridiculous and amusing it iwas for me to hear that.

Next time, I will share how my friend was disabled in junior high school.

Feedback

面白そうです。上手に書けています!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

May 17, 2023

2

いつもうありがとございます!😄

Brainwashing

Afterward, we drank beer and alcohol while having a hot pot at a small restaurant.

We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health, and even god, i. It was totally a free and casual talk.

One particular words from a friend, however, inspired me to write this entry today.

When you start with "one", the noun should match to be singular.

If you had said, "I got SOME words from a friend", then words would work

My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior school, a. As a result, he walks like a hunchback for decades.

Therefore, he was often behind us when walking and we had to frequently stop for a while and wait for him, though we didn't mind that.

He told us that he spends most of his time watching TV with his 80-year-old father, mainly tuned onto CCTV news, and both of them were brainwashed by the government media.

you could say "tuned on" or "tuned to" as well, but never tuned just on its own

He said that the peasants in China are the greatest people in the world because they had saved the world economy in the international financial crisis in 1998 and 2008.

I absolutely didn't agree with him but didn't express my disagreement at that moment.

I have no idea that how peasants in China are able to save the world, and how ridiculous and amusing it is for me to hear that.

Next time, I will share how my friend was disabled in junior school.

Feedback

interesting story!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

May 17, 2023

2

Thank you for your helpful feedback. 😄

Yesterday, I had a wonderful walking hike with several classmates.

The word "hike" already implies it was walking

Afterward, we drank beer and alcohol while having a hot pot at a small restaurant.

I don't know why, but "hot pot" isn't treated as a single item so we don't use "a".

We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health and even gGod, i. It was a totally a free and casual talk.

English capitalizes "God" when you are assuming there is one. It is lower case if you say "a god" or "the gods". It's a weird word. This should be two separate sentences and you can separate them with either a period "." or a semicolon ";".

My friend suffered a serious waistback injury when we were in junior school, a. As a result, he has walksed like a hunchback for decades.

It is uncommon to use "waist" when talking about an injury. I think "back" is what you want here. Because the walking is something he has done in the past and is continuing to do in the present, you want the present perfect tense "he has walked".

ThereforeBecause of this, he was often behind us when walking and we had to frequently stop for a while and wait for him, though we didn't mind that.

This just sounds a little smoother. The way you had it wasn't wrong though.

He told us that he spends most of his time watching TV with his 80-year-old father, mainly tuned CCTV news, and both of them were brainwashed by the government media.

I have no idea that how peasants in China arwould be able to save the world, and howit was ridiculous and amusing it is for me to hear that.

If you say "would be able to save the world" then it means that you don't understand how it could be possible for them to save the world. If you say "I have no idea how peasants in China are able to save the world" then this means that they can save it and you just don't understand how.

Next time, I will share how my friend was disabled in junior school.

Junior school would be called "secondary school" in Britain and "middle school" or "junior high" in America.

Feedback

Great job!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

May 17, 2023

2

Thank you for your corrections! 😄

We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health and even gGod, it was a totally a free and casual talk.

When talking about a monotheistic God, "God" is capitalized. Also, the "a" goes before the adjectives.

One particular words fromdiscussion with a friend, however, inspired me to write this entry today.

"words" isn't used, "discussion" makes more sense

My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior high school, and as a result, he has walksed like a hunchback for decades.

junior high school = grades 6-8, ages ~12-14. Not sure if that's what you mean by junior school

Therefore, he was often straggling behind us when walkinge walked and we had to frequently stop for a while and wait for him, although we didn't mind that.

He said that the peasants in China are the greatest people in the world because they had saved the world economy in the international financial crisis in 1998 and 2008.

I have no idea that how peasants in China are able to save the world, and h. How ridiculous and amusing it is for me to hear that.!

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

May 17, 2023

2

My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior high school, and as a result, he has walksed like a hunchback for decades.

I learned that junior school ranges from grades 7 to 9, while high school refers to grades 10 to 12, and primary or elementary school covers 1-6. 🤷‍♂️

Scarlett_Father's avatar
Scarlett_Father

May 17, 2023

2

Thank you for your corrections! 😄

Brainwashing


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Yesterday, I had a wonderful walking hike with several classmates.


Yesterday, I had a wonderful walking hike with several classmates.

The word "hike" already implies it was walking

Yesterday, I had a wonderful walking hike with several classmates.

It sounds better with just "hike" because we know you're walking during your hike.

Afterward, we drank beer and alcohol while having a hot pot at a small restaurant.


Afterward, we drank beer and alcohol while having a hot pot at a small restaurant.

I don't know why, but "hot pot" isn't treated as a single item so we don't use "a".

Afterward, we drank beer and alcohol while having a hot pot at a small restaurant.

Afterward, we drank beer and other alcohol while having a hot pot at a small restaurant.

We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health and even god, it was totally a free and casual talk.


We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health and even gGod, it was a totally a free and casual talk.

When talking about a monotheistic God, "God" is capitalized. Also, the "a" goes before the adjectives.

We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health and even gGod, i. It was a totally a free and casual talk.

English capitalizes "God" when you are assuming there is one. It is lower case if you say "a god" or "the gods". It's a weird word. This should be two separate sentences and you can separate them with either a period "." or a semicolon ";".

We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health, and even god, i. It was totally a free and casual talk.

We talked about a variety of topics from family, money, current affairs, health andto even god, i. It was a totally a free and casual talk.

楽しそうです!

One particular words from a friend, however, inspired me to write this entry today.


One particular words fromdiscussion with a friend, however, inspired me to write this entry today.

"words" isn't used, "discussion" makes more sense

One particular words from a friend, however, inspired me to write this entry today.

When you start with "one", the noun should match to be singular. If you had said, "I got SOME words from a friend", then words would work

One particular wordsA certain story from a friend, however, inspired me to write this entry today.

Nice use of "however"!

My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior school, as a result, he walks like a hunchback for decades.


My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior high school, and as a result, he has walksed like a hunchback for decades.

junior high school = grades 6-8, ages ~12-14. Not sure if that's what you mean by junior school

My friend suffered a serious waistback injury when we were in junior school, a. As a result, he has walksed like a hunchback for decades.

It is uncommon to use "waist" when talking about an injury. I think "back" is what you want here. Because the walking is something he has done in the past and is continuing to do in the present, you want the present perfect tense "he has walked".

My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior school, a. As a result, he walks like a hunchback for decades.

My friend suffered a serious waist injury when we were in junior high school and, as a result, he has walksed like a hunchback for decades.

Therefore, he was often behind us when walking and we had to frequently stop for a while and wait for him, though we didn't mind that.


Therefore, he was often straggling behind us when walkinge walked and we had to frequently stop for a while and wait for him, although we didn't mind that.

ThereforeBecause of this, he was often behind us when walking and we had to frequently stop for a while and wait for him, though we didn't mind that.

This just sounds a little smoother. The way you had it wasn't wrong though.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He told us that he spends most of his time watching TV with his 80-year-old father, mainly tuned CCTV news, and both of them were brainwashed by the government media.


He told us that he spends most of his time watching TV with his 80-year-old father, mainly tuned CCTV news, and both of them were brainwashed by the government media.

He told us that he spends most of his time watching TV with his 80-year-old father, mainly tuned onto CCTV news, and both of them were brainwashed by the government media.

you could say "tuned on" or "tuned to" as well, but never tuned just on its own

He told us that he spends most of his time watching TV with his 80- year- old father, mainly tuned to CCTV news, andso both of them werehave been brainwashed by the government media.

He said that the peasants in China are the greatest people in the world because they had saved the world economy in the international financial crisis in 1998 and 2008.


He said that the peasants in China are the greatest people in the world because they had saved the world economy in the international financial crisis in 1998 and 2008.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

He said that the peasantpeople in the lower class in China are the greatest people in the world because they had saved the world economy during the international financial crisis in 1998 and 2008.

I absolutely didn't agree with him but didn't express my disagreement at that moment.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I have no idea that how peasants in China are able to save the world, and how ridiculous and amusing it is for me to hear that.


I have no idea that how peasants in China are able to save the world, and h. How ridiculous and amusing it is for me to hear that.!

I have no idea that how peasants in China arwould be able to save the world, and howit was ridiculous and amusing it is for me to hear that.

If you say "would be able to save the world" then it means that you don't understand how it could be possible for them to save the world. If you say "I have no idea how peasants in China are able to save the world" then this means that they can save it and you just don't understand how.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I have no idea that how peasanthow the lower class in China areis able to save the world, and h. How ridiculous and amusing it iwas for me to hear that.

Next time, I will share how my friend was disabled in junior school.


Next time, I will share how my friend was disabled in junior school.

Junior school would be called "secondary school" in Britain and "middle school" or "junior high" in America.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Next time, I will share how my friend was disabled in junior high school.

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