March 29, 2022
Book - The Spy and the Traitor - 23
Summary no. 23
This is a true story.
Intelligence from the Danes had established that every morning *the Soviet diplomat and suspected KGB agent* Oleg Gordievsky went to a sports club in the suburban area of Copenhagen. MI6 agent Bromhead had long been instructed to try and recruit Oleg; therefore, he decided to surveille the place himself. On the third day of his post outside the club, Bromhead on a spur-of-the-moment decision went inside. Oleg, who already knew Bromhead was MI6 and had met him at several diplomatic parties, showed no surprise when he saw Bromhead. Indeed, to Oleg everything was falling into place. Bromhead’s direct approach definitely pointed that MI6 was trying to recruit him. After a brief small talk, the two of them arranged for a dinner. Bromhead left Oleg decide the details: in three days time at the restaurant in the Østeport Hotel, which was directly opposite the Soviet embassy. Oleg’s choice of location nagged Bromhead. He started wondering if Oleg was setting him up. In reality, Oleg was simply looking after himself. To be spot with a MI6 officer in a secluded place would be seen by the KGB as a possible attempt to treachery. Thus, Oleg promptly reported that Bromhead had invited him to a casual dinner. The KGB knew well Bromhead, so they authorised Oleg.
*There I meant that Oleg was officially a Soviet diplomat, but some Western intelligence agencies suspected him to be a KGB agent.
Book - The Spy and the Traitor - 23
Summary no.
23
This is a true story.
MI6 agent Bromhead had long-since been instructed to try and recruit Oleg; therefore, he decided to surveille the place himself.
On the third day of his post outside the club, Bromhead oin a spur-of-the-moment decision went inside.
Indeed, tTo Oleg, everything was falling into place as expected.
“Indeed” feels a bit too ambiguous in this context. I’d suggest maybe deploying ‘As expected’ and placing it at the end of the sentence.
Bromhead’s direct approach definitely pointed thatout that the MI6 was trying to recruit him.
I presume that you wanted to say ‘pointed out that’ instead of ‘pointed that.’
You could alternatively go with another word as a substitute for ‘pointed’ such as ‘indicated’
After a brief small talk, the two of them arranged for a dinner.
No need to use ‘small’ as you’ve already indicated that by using the adjective ‘brief’
Bromhead left Oleg to decide the details: in three days time they would meet at the restaurant inside of the Østeport Hotel, of which was directly opposite to the Soviet embassy.
Oleg’s choice of location nagged Bromhead.
He started wondering if Oleg was setting him up.
In reality, Oleg was simply looking after himself.
To beAfter all, to the KGB, being spotted with an MI6 officer in a secluded place wcould be seen by the KGB as a possible attempt toy treacheryous.
Spot needs to be conjugated in the past tense: spot - spotted.
‘By the KGB’ seems fine, but it’d make more sense if it were placed at the beginning and ‘by’ would be swapped with ‘to.’
‘Possible attempt to treachery’ - ‘Possible attempt of treachery.’
‘To’ should be replace with ‘of’.
Alternatively if you wish to be more concise ‘possible treachery’ is more than adequate.
Thus, Oleg promptly reported that Bromhead had invited him to a casual dinner.
The KGB knew wellrecognised Bromhead, so they authorised Oleg.
‘Knew well’ - ‘recognised’ would be more appropriate.
Feedback
Overall, quite a precise summary and a solid piece of writing. Easy to comprehend, but it has a handful of errors. Some minor grammatical errors with prepositions and conjugation of a verb into the Past Tense.
In spite of this, good job
March 30, 2022
many thanks!
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Book - The Spy and the Traitor - 23 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Summary no. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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23 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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This is a true story. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Intelligence from the Danes had established that every morning *the Soviet diplomat and suspected KGB agent* Oleg Gordievsky went to a sports club in the suburban area of Copenhagen. |
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MI6 agent Bromhead had long been instructed to try and recruit Oleg; therefore, he decided to surveille the place himself. MI6 agent Bromhead had long-since been instructed to try and recruit Oleg; therefore, he decided to surveille the place himself. |
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On the third day of his post outside the club, Bromhead on a spur-of-the-moment decision went inside. On the third day of his post outside the club, Bromhead |
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Oleg, who already knew Bromhead was MI6 and had met him at several diplomatic parties, showed no surprise when he saw Bromhead. |
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Indeed, to Oleg everything was falling into place.
“Indeed” feels a bit too ambiguous in this context. I’d suggest maybe deploying ‘As expected’ and placing it at the end of the sentence. |
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Bromhead’s direct approach definitely pointed that MI6 was trying to recruit him. Bromhead’s direct approach definitely pointed I presume that you wanted to say ‘pointed out that’ instead of ‘pointed that.’ You could alternatively go with another word as a substitute for ‘pointed’ such as ‘indicated’ |
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After a brief small talk, the two of them arranged for a dinner. After a brief No need to use ‘small’ as you’ve already indicated that by using the adjective ‘brief’ |
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Bromhead left Oleg decide the details: in three days time at the restaurant in the Østeport Hotel, which was directly opposite the Soviet embassy. Bromhead left Oleg to decide the details: in three days time they would meet at the restaurant inside of the Østeport Hotel, of which was directly opposite to the Soviet embassy. |
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Oleg’s choice of location nagged Bromhead. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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He started wondering if Oleg was setting him up. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In reality, Oleg was simply looking after himself. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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To be spot with a MI6 officer in a secluded place would be seen by the KGB as a possible attempt to treachery.
Spot needs to be conjugated in the past tense: spot - spotted. ‘By the KGB’ seems fine, but it’d make more sense if it were placed at the beginning and ‘by’ would be swapped with ‘to.’ ‘Possible attempt to treachery’ - ‘Possible attempt of treachery.’ ‘To’ should be replace with ‘of’. Alternatively if you wish to be more concise ‘possible treachery’ is more than adequate. |
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Thus, Oleg promptly reported that Bromhead had invited him to a casual dinner. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The KGB knew well Bromhead, so they authorised Oleg. The KGB ‘Knew well’ - ‘recognised’ would be more appropriate. |
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*There I meant that Oleg was officially a Soviet diplomat, but some Western intelligence agencies suspected him to be a KGB agent. |
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