March 14, 2022
Book - The Spy and the Traitor - 18
Summary no. 18.
This is a real story.
The mass expulsion of Soviet diplomats from the UK in 1974 caused considerable consternation within the FCD, a KGB department. Senior Soviet officers saw it as a major debacle. Thus, the head of the intelligence sector responsible for the UK and Scandinavia (the KGB grouped them together) was dismissed. Dmitri Yakushin took over the job. Yakushin was remarkably cultured, clever and blunt. All qualities that made him an hard person to stand up to or deceive. Something that Oleg soon learnt at his first brush with Yakushin. Listening to the BBC World Service, Oleg had learnt that three Soviet diplomats had been expelled from Denmark. Next morning, Oleg reported the news—without revealing his source since the BBC World Service was banned in the USSR—to a colleague of his at work*. Within minutes, Yakushin heard of it and called Oleg. With a deafening tone, Yakushin warned Oleg stop spreading false information. A few days later, when the BBC report had been confirmed, Yakushin offered Oleg to work in his deparment, the FCD.
*By “at work”, I meant that Oleg was at work, that is, the KGB headquarters in Moscow.
All qualities that made him an hard person to stand up to or deceive.
NThe next morning, Oleg reported the news—without revealing his source since the BBC World Service was banned in the USSR—to a colleague of his at work*.
*By “at work”, I meant that Oleg was at work, that is, the KGB headquarters in Moscow.
Book - The Spy and the Traitor - 18
Yakushin was remarkably cultured, clever and blunt.
"blunt" is quite a colloquial word and sounds a bit out of place with the formal tone here. You could consider using a word like "forthright" or "curt", however this would be personal preference.
A...; all qualities that made him an hard person to stand up to or deceive.
Watch out with "an" vs "a"
To be grammatically perfect this sentence should not be separated from the previous one. You could opt for a semi-colon to separate these phrases. (But don't worry too much)
Listening to the BBC World Service, Oleg had learnt that three Soviet diplomats had been expelled from Denmark.
This reads a bit smoother without the "had". The pluperfect tense is not really needed as we have the context of the story
A few days later, when the BBC report had been confirmed, Yakushin offered Oleg to worka job in his deparment, the FCD.
Offered Oleg a job/position - this reads more naturally
*By “at work”, I meant that Oleg was at work, that is, the KGB headquarters in Moscow.
This made perfect sense anyway! Don't worry :)
Feedback
A very nice read with good grammar and vocab.
I can see you are already branching out with punctuation and doing well! If you find yourself writing for a formal situation consider using a well places semicolon to further impress :)
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Book - The Spy and the Traitor - 18 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Summary no. |
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18. |
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This is a real story. |
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The mass expulsion of Soviet diplomats from the UK in 1974 caused considerable consternation within the FCD, a KGB department. |
|
Senior Soviet officers saw it as a major debacle. |
|
Thus, the head of the intelligence sector responsible for the UK and Scandinavia (the KGB grouped them together) was dismissed. |
|
Dmitri Yakushin took over the job. |
|
Yakushin was remarkably cultured, clever and blunt. Yakushin was remarkably cultured, clever and blunt "blunt" is quite a colloquial word and sounds a bit out of place with the formal tone here. You could consider using a word like "forthright" or "curt", however this would be personal preference. |
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All qualities that made him an hard person to stand up to or deceive.
Watch out with "an" vs "a" To be grammatically perfect this sentence should not be separated from the previous one. You could opt for a semi-colon to separate these phrases. (But don't worry too much) All qualities that made him a |
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Something that Oleg soon learnt at his first brush with Yakushin. |
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Listening to the BBC World Service, Oleg had learnt that three Soviet diplomats had been expelled from Denmark. Listening to the BBC World Service, Oleg This reads a bit smoother without the "had". The pluperfect tense is not really needed as we have the context of the story |
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Next morning, Oleg reported the news—without revealing his source since the BBC World Service was banned in the USSR—to a colleague of his at work*.
|
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Within minutes, Yakushin heard of it and called Oleg. |
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With a deafening tone, Yakushin warned Oleg stop spreading false information. |
|
A few days later, when the BBC report had been confirmed, Yakushin offered Oleg to work in his deparment, the FCD. A few days later, when the BBC report had been confirmed, Yakushin offered Oleg Offered Oleg a job/position - this reads more naturally |
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*By “at work”, I meant that Oleg was at work, that is, the KGB headquarters in Moscow. *By “at work”, I meant that Oleg was at work, that is, the KGB headquarters in Moscow. This made perfect sense anyway! Don't worry :) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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