June 1, 2022
Book - A Shot in the Dark - 79
Summary no. 79
DCI Peplow wasn’t just a man of law, he was one of Britain’s most popular public figures. Just like many prominent people, he pushed a narrative, creating a public image of himself as someone to look up to. So, bringing a whole tv crew when he visited his friend and notorious journalist Harry Jupiter, who was recovered in hospital, was completely in character. Of course, Peplow thought it a good idea—from a PR point of view—to take some shots with Jupiter where the incident had occurred. Peplow could already imagine the newspapers’ titles hailing him as a good man given to “charitable” work. Reporter Ben Oliver, who had been in the room with Jupiter since before Peplow arrived, was enthusiastic about the idea, and said that going there might jog Jupiter’s memory. However, the hospital staff refused adamantly to dismiss Jupiter without authorisation from a next of kin. Being a charming and persuasive man, Peplow had his way eventually. Though, astonishingly, no one cared for Jupiter’s opinion. He dreaded the prospect of leaving his hospital room and venturing out with all these strangers. He resented all of them, he just wanted to rest.
So, bringingwhen he brought a whole tv crew when he visited his friend and notorious journalist Harry Jupiter, who was recovered in hospital, DCI Peplow was completely in character.
It’s more clear that Peplow was the one in character.
Peplow could already imagine the newspapers’ titl headlines hailing him as a good man given to “charitable” work.
Clearer word choice
Reporter Ben Oliver, who had been in the room with Jupiter since before Peplow arrived, and was enthusiastic about the idea, and saidsaying that going thero the crime scene might jog Jupiter’s memory.
Clearer
However, the hospital staff refused adamantly refused to dismiss Jupiter without authorisation from ahis next of kin.
BeingAs a charming and persuasive man, Peplow had his way eventualleventually got his way.
Though, astonishingly, no one carasked for Jupiter’s opinion.
HeJupiter resented all of them,; he just wanted to rest.
Feedback
These are very minor corrections — overall, the original version is clear and well-written!
June 3, 2022
Thank you very much
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Book - A Shot in the Dark - 79 |
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Summary no. |
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79 |
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DCI Peplow wasn’t just a man of law, he was one of Britain’s most popular public figures. |
|
Just like many prominent people, he pushed a narrative, creating a public image of himself as someone to look up to. |
|
So, bringing a whole tv crew when he visited his friend and notorious journalist Harry Jupiter, who was recovered in hospital, was completely in character. So, It’s more clear that Peplow was the one in character. |
|
Of course, Peplow thought it a good idea—from a PR point of view—to take some shots with Jupiter where the incident had occurred. |
|
Peplow could already imagine the newspapers’ titles hailing him as a good man given to “charitable” work. Peplow could already imagine the newspaper Clearer word choice |
|
Reporter Ben Oliver, who wad been in the room with Jupiter since before Peplow arrived, was enthusiastic about the idea, and said that going there might jog Jupiter’s memory. |
|
However, the hospital staff refused adamantly to dismiss Jupiter without authorisation from a next of kin. However, the hospital staff |
|
Being a charming and persuasive man, Peplow had his way eventually.
|
|
Though, astonishingly, no one cared for Jupiter’s opinion. Though, astonishingly, no one |
|
He dreaded the prospect of leaving his hospital room and venturing out with all these strangers. |
|
He resented all of them, he just wanted to rest.
|
|
Reporter Ben Oliver, who had been in the room with Jupiter since before Peplow arrived, was enthusiastic about the idea, and said that going there might jog Jupiter’s memory. Reporter Ben Oliver Clearer |
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