March 15, 2022
Part no. 54.
This summary was deliberately written in the present tense (analyse it as if it’s unfolding as you read it).
Sergeant Brunswick is on his way to Penny Cavendish’s lodgings. The Sergeant hopes she will be able to shed some light on Bobby Melma. It’s a name that has only recently emerged from Brunswick’s enquiries. From what the Sergeant has gleaned so far, this Melma is certainly worth of looking into. Not long after Brunswick arrives and greets Penny, he reveals why he’s there. Penny is flooded with alarm. She doesn’t want to drag Bobby into any of this. She tries hard to dodge any critical questions, making a show of being vague. Although she’s an actress by profession, emotions soon gets the better of her, giving the game away. Brunswick reasons that her knowledge is deeper than she makes it out to be. Even so, the Sergeant cleverly plays along and it pays off in the end. One particular, critical question catches Penny with her guard down. It’s about Bobby’s and Jack’s time in Leeds. Not seeing any danger in it, she acknowledges that the two have recently talked about their time in Leeds. She explains that they particulary discussed a strange episode occured there. Brunswick reasons that Bobby and Jack were talking about the same con artist that is now operating around Brighton.
It’This is a name that has only recently emerged from Brunswick’s enquiries.
From what the Sergeant has gleaned so far, this Melma is certainly worth of looking into.
Not long after Brunswick arrives and greets Penny, he reveals why he’ is there.
She tries hard to dodge any criticaldifficult questions, making a show of being vague.
Although she’ is an actress by profession, her emotions soon gets the better of her, givingand she gives the game away.
Brunswick reasons that sher knowledge is deeper than she makes it out to bes more than she is letting on.
Just a suggestion to make it sound a bit more natural.
It’s about Bobby’s and Jack’s time in Leeds.
Not seeing any danger in it, she acknowledges that the two have recently talspoked about their time in Leeds.
She explains that they particulary discusseddiscussed in particular, a strange episode that occurred while they were there.
Feedback
Excellent job, it sounds pretty much fluent to me!
Book - A Shot in the Dark - 54 |
Part no. |
54. |
This summary was deliberately written in the present tense (analyse it as if it’s unfolding as you read it). |
Sergeant Brunswick is on his way to Penny Cavendish’s lodgings. |
The Sergeant hopes she will be able to shed some light on Bobby Melma. |
It’s a name that has only recently emerged from Brunswick’s enquiries.
|
From what the Sergeant has gleaned so far, this Melma is certainly worth of looking into. From what the Sergeant has gleaned so far, this Melma is certainly worth |
Not long after Brunswick arrives and greets Penny, he reveals why he’s there. Not long after Brunswick arrives and greets Penny, he reveals why he |
Penny is flooded with alarm. |
She doesn’t want to drag Bobby into any of this. |
She tries hard to dodge any critical questions, making a show of being vague. She tries hard to dodge any |
Although she’s an actress by profession, emotions soon gets the better of her, giving the game away. Although she |
Brunswick reasons that her knowledge is deeper than she makes it out to be. Brunswick reasons that she Just a suggestion to make it sound a bit more natural. |
Even so, the Sergeant cleverly plays along and it pays off in the end. |
One particular, critical question catches Penny with her guard down. |
It’s about Bobby’s and Jack’s time in Leeds. It’s about Bobby |
Not seeing any danger in it, she acknowledges that the two have recently talked about their time in Leeds. Not seeing any danger in it, she acknowledges that the two |
She explains that they particulary discussed a strange episode occured there. She explains that they |
Brunswick reasons that Bobby and Jack were talking about the same con artist that is now operating around Brighton. |
Book - A Shot in the Dark - 55 |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium