Some people tend to think that great thinkers or scientists had a big impact on the world because they gave themselves completely to their work and did not have an idea of “work-life balance”. Some people think that great thinkers or scientists had a big impact on the world because they gave themselves completely to their work and did not have an idea of “work-life balance”.

Your thoughts are obvious and clear. I am cutting down on redundent words. This is a matter of preference, however your ideas are crystal clear.

Some peopleThere is a tendency to think that great thinkers or scientists had a big impact on the world because they gave themselves completely to their work and did not have an ideare the concept of “work-life balance”. There is a tendency to think that great thinkers or scientists had a big impact on the world because they gave themselves completely to their work and did not re the concept of “work-life balance”.

Honestly what you wrote sounds fine but I came up with something slightly different here.

Some people tend to think that great tphinklosophers orand scientists had a big impact on the world because they gave themselves completely to their work and did not have an ideainternalize the concept of “work-life balance”. Some people tend to think that great philosophers and scientists had a big impact on the world because they gave themselves completely to their work and did not internalize the concept of “work-life balance”.

It seems tTo me, that it isis seems like an incorrect way tof picturing a life of success.e a successful life. To me, this seems like an incorrect way to picture a successful life.

Your thoughts are clear. I am editting to make it sound more "natural."

It seems to me that ithis is an incorrect misguided way of pictmeasuring a life of successsuccess in life. It seems to me that this is a misguided way of measuring success in life.

While this makes sense, I've corrected this to sound a bit more natural and emphasize that this is more of a personal opinion than something that's provably true (though I agree :-) )

It seems to me that it is an incorrect way of picturing a life of success.However, this point of view lacks merit because… However, this point of view lacks merit because…

The transition between the two sentences does not make sense.

I would argue that people should try to have a good work-life balance that makes them happy. I would argue that people should try to have a good work-life balance that makes them happy.

I would argue that people should try to have a good work-life balance that makes them happyfeel happy and fulfilled. I would argue that people should try to have a good work-life balance that makes them feel happy and fulfilled.

"happy and fulfilled" is often used when talking about this topic.

It is undoubtedly true that more time spendingt on work can lead to a better economic placesituation. It is undoubtedly true that more time spent on work can lead to a better economic situation.

It is undoubtedly true that more time spending ont working can lead to a better economic placesituation. It is undoubtedly true that more time spent working can lead to a better economic situation.

You can also talk about this in terms of increased income or wealth.

It is undoubtedly true that more time spendingt on work can lead to a better economic placesuccess. It is undoubtedly true that more time spent on work can lead to better economic success.

However, an unhealthy work-life balance can provoke anlead to emotional and physical dissatisfiedaction with life. However, an unhealthy work-life balance can lead to emotional and physical dissatisfaction with life.

However, an unhealthy work-life balance can provoke anleave you feeling emotionally and physical dissatisfied lifely drained. However, an unhealthy work-life balance can leave you feeling emotionally and physically drained.

I had to think hard about how to write this to be honest while keeping a similar meaning...

However, an unhealthy work-life balance can provoke anlead to emotional and physical dissatisfied life.problems. However, an unhealthy work-life balance can lead to emotional and physical problems.

Focus less on vocab and more on developing the argument and writing grammatically correct sentences to improve the flow of the essay.

Statistics demonstrateResearch shows that psychological conditions such as depression and anxiety are linked to overwork. Research shows that psychological conditions such as depression and anxiety are linked to overwork.

While statistics will show this, it sounds more natural to talk about the research itself that they came from.

That is a result ofis can be caused by a lack of social support and activities that fulfill people's lifeves. This can be caused by a lack of social support and activities that fulfill people's lives.

Wording this sentence like this means you can make this point while also leaving open the possibility that other things can cause these effects as well. Don't forge the plural too!

That is a result of a lack of social support and activities that fulfill people's lifcan help one relax and recharge. That is a result of a lack of social support and activities that can help one relax and recharge.

It is important that workers spent some of their time in social activities such as playing board games or outdoor sports, where they can bond with other people. It is important that workers spent some of their time in social activities such as playing board games or outdoor sports, where they can bond with other people.

spend some of their time, not all of it

It is important that workerspeople spentd their time engaging in social activities, such as playing board games or outdoor sports, where they can bond with other people. It is important that people spend their time engaging in social activities, such as playing board games or outdoor sports, where they can bond with other people.

While I understand that the context of this writing is about people that work a lot, the term "workers" tends to apply specifically to people working for someone else as part of a company. Really you are talking about anyone that works long hours so it's okay to refer to them just as "people" here.

It is important that workers spentd their time ion social activities such as playing board games or outdoor sports, where they can bond with other people. It is important that workers spend their time on social activities such as playing board games or outdoor sports where they can bond with other people.

That helps workers to have an emotional support, which is essential to be happy. That helps workers to have emotional support, which is essential to be happy.

Thatis helps workers to have anpeople to receive emotional support, which is essential to be happyfor happiness. This helps people to receive emotional support, which is essential for happiness.

Edited for naturalness here.

That helpsIn this manner, workers tocan have an emotional support, which is essential to be happy.improved support to promote well-being. In this manner, workers can have improved support to promote well-being.

Secondly, when people devote their life to their jobs and companies, they miss out other activities that can enjoy, which is alsocan be negative to their creativity. Secondly, when people devote their life to their jobs and companies, they miss out other activities that can enjoy, which can be negative to their creativity.

Secondly, when people devote their life to their jobs and companies, they miss out on other activities that canthey could enjoy, which is also negative toly affects their creativity. Secondly, when people devote their life to their jobs and companies, they miss out on other activities that they could enjoy, which also negatively affects their creativity.

Secondly, when people devote their life to their jobs and companies, they miss out other activities that they can enjoy, which is also negative to their creativity. Secondly, when people devote their life to their jobs and companies, they miss out other activities that they can enjoy.

Having hobbies or practicing some sports bring benefits for the brain, because it creates new neural connections. Having hobbies or practicing some sports bring benefits the brain, because it creates new neural connections.

Having hobbies or practicing some sports also brings benefits for the brain, because it, because it helps the brain creates new neural connections. Having hobbies or practicing some sports also brings benefits, because it helps the brain create new neural connections.

Using "also" here because it's connected to the previous sentence in a way.

Having hobbies or practicing some sports bring benefits for the brain, because it creates new neural connections. Having hobbies or practicing sports bring benefits for the brain because it creates new neural connections.

This is not correct actually and is confusing. It improved blood flow and activates areas of the brain less active…

That is especially relevant for creative people. That is especially relevant for creative people.

Thatis is especially relevant for creative people. This is especially relevant for creative people.

That is especially relevant for creative people. That is especially relevant for creative people.

By disconnecting from work, people are able to recharge their energy and are better able to find new perspectives. By disconnecting from work, people are able to recharge their energy and are better able to find new perspectives.

Personally I think "better able" is one of those weird English sounding phrases that doesn't sound that natural but we've used it so much that it does now :-)

For instance, every day after my father runs, he feels fresh and ready to solve work problems or find new solutions. For instance, every day after my father runs, he feels fresh and ready to solve work problems or find new solutions.

For instance, every day after my father runs, he feels refreshed and more able to solve work problems or find new solutions. For instance, every day after my father runs, he feels refreshed and more able to solve work problems or find new solutions.

For instance, every day after my father runs, he feels freshady to solve work problems or find new solutions. For instance, every day after my father runs, he feels ready to solve work problems or find new solutions.

In conclusion, having a work-life balance haves some emotional and physical advantages and also helps people to develop their creativity. In conclusion, having a work-life balance has some emotional and physical advantages and also helps people to develop their creativity.

In conclusion, having a healthy work-life balance haves some emotional and physical advantages and also helps people to develop their creativity. In conclusion, having a healthy work-life balance has some emotional and physical advantages and also helps people to develop their creativity.

In conclusion, having a work-life balance have somes emotional and physical advantages and alsocan helps people to develop theirromote creativity. In conclusion, having a work-life balance has emotional and physical advantages and can help promote creativity.