TarYosh's avatar
TarYosh

Nov. 15, 2022

0
Birthday Illustration

I drew a birthday illustration for one of my favorite streamers.
She is an artist who makes high quality live 2D models.
She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, zero gaijin accent.

Last week was her birthday, so I drew a birthday illustration for her.
She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am really glad to take time to draw it.

Check out her reaction from the link in the note section.

I am not an artist and not good at drawing, and she is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skill.
That’s why I drew her in a special form which no one would draw.


She reacts to my illustration.
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1651035803?t=21h44m01s

Corrections

Birthday Illustration

I drew a birthday illustration for one of my favorite streamers.

She is an artist who makes high quality live 2D models.

She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, zero gaijin accent.

Last week was her birthday, so I drew a birthday illustration for her.

She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I amwas really glad to take the time to draw it.

Check out her reaction from the link in the note section.

I am not an artist and not good at drawing, and she is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skills.

That’s why I drew her in a special form which no one else would draw.

TarYosh's avatar
TarYosh

Nov. 16, 2022

0

Thank you for your corrections, emma97!

Birthday Illustration

I drew a birthday illustration for one of my favorite streamers.

She is an artist who makes high quality live 2D models.

She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, zero gaijin accent.

Last week was her birthday, so I drew a birthday illustration for her.

She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am really glad to tak(that) I took the time to draw it.

Check out her reaction from the link in the note section.

I am not an artist and not good at drawing, and she is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skills.

TarYoshさんはちょっと嘘つきですね。

That’s why I drew her in a special form which no one else probably would drawuse.

頭がいいですね。

Feedback

サニーさんの日本語はすごいですね!頑張ります。

TarYosh's avatar
TarYosh

Nov. 16, 2022

0

Thank you for your corrections and checking my drawing, mari-san!
Yeah, Sunny-san's Japanese is level 100.

I drew a birthdayn illustration for one of my favorite streamers.

It's better to leave the birthday part out since you explain about the streamer's birthday later in the journal.

You also hinted about the birthday in the title, so lets go ahead and avoid some possible redundancy.

She is an artist who makes high quality live 2D models.

She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, -- zero gaijin accent.

You can use an em dash (--) or an ellipses (...) to make it easier to read.

English has borrowed a lot of Japanese words recently, I hear kids saying 'cosplay' all the time when they mean you are pretending to do something. It's pretty wild that they're already going to put 'senpai' in the Oxford English dictionary.

Sadly, 'gaijin' isn't really something most people will be able to understand.

Last week was her birthday, so I drew a birthdayn illustration for her birthday present.

So the `birthday ~[noun]`, part of "birthday illustration is a noun adjunct.

Using 'birthday illustration` just doesn't quite work for me, others may have a different sense.

With noun adjuncts It's the same as when using phrasal verbs, you have to read/listen to them a lot before you understand how to use them.
Noun adjuncts starting with birthday:
* birthday present
* birthday boy
* birthday blues
...


Some other noun adjuncts:
* toy soldier
* stone wall
* government policy

She seemed to enjoy seeviewing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am really glad to have taken time to draw it.

This time you're usage of the `birthday ~`, noun adjunct in "birthday stream", reads completely naturally.

My corrected version is written in past perfect tense (https://www.englishclub.com/grammar/verb-tenses_past-perfect.htm) to preserve you're word choice.

You can also write it in past simple tense.
She seemed to enjoy viewing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am glad I took the time to draw it.

Check out her reaction from the link in the note section.

I am not an artist and I'm not good at drawing, andbut she is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skills.

Not that good at drawing eh? I'm not so sure about that, you look pretty good to me.

This is what my drawings look like: 웃

That’s why I drew her in a special form which, one that no one else would drawuse.

TarYosh's avatar
TarYosh

Nov. 16, 2022

0

Thank you for your details corrections and checking my drawing, etherealite!

>This is what my drawings look like: 웃
Wow, genius way to use a Korean character!

She is an artist who makes high quality live 2D models.

She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, without - no exaggeration, zero gaiji - a foreign accent.

"zero gaijin accent" makes sense for those who are somewhat familiar with Japanese, but I feel that for a more general audience, saying "foreign accent" would be more easily understood.

She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I amwas really glad to takeI took time to draw it.

Since I am not an artist and, I'm not good at drawing, and becaushe is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skill.

That’s why I drew her in a special form which no one welse could draw.

Feedback

For this sentence "She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, zero gaijin accent."

There are also a couple of other ways I think you could also write it, but they are mostly stylistic, depending on what kind of nuance you want to convey
- "She speaks Japanese as if she was a native speaker, without any foreign accent" -> emphasizing that she has no gaijin/foreign accent
- "She is so fluent in Japanese that she sounds like a native speaker" -> emphasizing that she speaks very fluently
- "Her Japanese is so fluent that she has no foreign accent at all" -> emphasizing that specifically her Japanese is very fluent

At least, this is what kind of emphasis I think would come across :) Other people might have different feelings

TarYosh's avatar
TarYosh

Nov. 16, 2022

0

Thank you for your corrections and a lot of other ways to say it, ariyo!

Birthday Illustration

I drew a birthday illustration for one of my favorite streamers.

She is an artist who makes high quality live 2D models.

She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, - zero gaijin accent.

This one is hard to punctuate because it's more of a spoken English style than written. This reads most naturally to me.

Last week was her birthday, so I drew a birthday illustration for her.

She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am really glad to takI took the time to draw it.

Check out her reaction from the link in the note section.

I am not an artist and notnor am I good at drawing, and she is a real artist, so there was no way to really impress her with my poor drawing skill.

That’s why I drew her in a special formunique style which no one would drawelse would use.

Looking at the drawing I think this is the intent of the sentence

Feedback

It really is a unique style

TarYosh's avatar
TarYosh

Nov. 16, 2022

0

Thank you for your correction and checking my drawing, abcde.
I drew her being the special form!

Birthday Illustration


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I drew a birthday illustration for one of my favorite streamers.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I drew a birthdayn illustration for one of my favorite streamers.

It's better to leave the birthday part out since you explain about the streamer's birthday later in the journal. You also hinted about the birthday in the title, so lets go ahead and avoid some possible redundancy.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

She is an artist who makes high quality live 2D models.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, zero gaijin accent.


She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, - zero gaijin accent.

This one is hard to punctuate because it's more of a spoken English style than written. This reads most naturally to me.

She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, without - no exaggeration, zero gaiji - a foreign accent.

"zero gaijin accent" makes sense for those who are somewhat familiar with Japanese, but I feel that for a more general audience, saying "foreign accent" would be more easily understood.

She speaks fluent Japanese like a native speaker, no exaggeration, -- zero gaijin accent.

You can use an em dash (--) or an ellipses (...) to make it easier to read. English has borrowed a lot of Japanese words recently, I hear kids saying 'cosplay' all the time when they mean you are pretending to do something. It's pretty wild that they're already going to put 'senpai' in the Oxford English dictionary. Sadly, 'gaijin' isn't really something most people will be able to understand.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Last week was her birthday, so I drew a birthday illustration for her.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Last week was her birthday, so I drew a birthdayn illustration for her birthday present.

So the `birthday ~[noun]`, part of "birthday illustration is a noun adjunct. Using 'birthday illustration` just doesn't quite work for me, others may have a different sense. With noun adjuncts It's the same as when using phrasal verbs, you have to read/listen to them a lot before you understand how to use them. Noun adjuncts starting with birthday: * birthday present * birthday boy * birthday blues ... Some other noun adjuncts: * toy soldier * stone wall * government policy

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am really glad to take time to draw it.


She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am really glad to takI took the time to draw it.

She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I amwas really glad to takeI took time to draw it.

She seemed to enjoy seeviewing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am really glad to have taken time to draw it.

This time you're usage of the `birthday ~`, noun adjunct in "birthday stream", reads completely naturally. My corrected version is written in past perfect tense (https://www.englishclub.com/grammar/verb-tenses_past-perfect.htm) to preserve you're word choice. You can also write it in past simple tense. She seemed to enjoy viewing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am glad I took the time to draw it.

She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I am really glad to tak(that) I took the time to draw it.

She seemed to enjoy seeing my masterpiece on her birthday stream, so I amwas really glad to take the time to draw it.

Check out her reaction from the link in the note section.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I am not an artist and not good at drawing, and she is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skill.


I am not an artist and notnor am I good at drawing, and she is a real artist, so there was no way to really impress her with my poor drawing skill.

Since I am not an artist and, I'm not good at drawing, and becaushe is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skill.

I am not an artist and I'm not good at drawing, andbut she is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skills.

Not that good at drawing eh? I'm not so sure about that, you look pretty good to me. This is what my drawings look like: 웃

I am not an artist and not good at drawing, and she is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skills.

TarYoshさんはちょっと嘘つきですね。

I am not an artist and not good at drawing, and she is a real artist, so there was no way to impress her with my poor drawing skills.

That’s why I drew her in a special form which no one would draw.


That’s why I drew her in a special formunique style which no one would drawelse would use.

Looking at the drawing I think this is the intent of the sentence

That’s why I drew her in a special form which no one welse could draw.

That’s why I drew her in a special form which, one that no one else would drawuse.

That’s why I drew her in a special form which no one else probably would drawuse.

頭がいいですね。

That’s why I drew her in a special form which no one else would draw.

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