nikogp's avatar
nikogp

March 7, 2023

0
Being a bounty hunter

After two days walking over these green lands, I have finally seen someone human. Running for his life, stumbling ove the ground, and pursued by three snapping beast, a man looked at me from the distance. I chosed to help -I don't know really why, beeing a bounty hunter don't predispose me to any kind of sympathy-. I've killed all three beast in three single shots. The man continued to run without lookig behind even without looking to me. Three lives taken to help one man. Three to one don't really seems justice; great! I don't like justice!.

Corrections

Being a bBounty hHunter

We capitalize the first letter of important words in titles.

After two days of walking over these green lands, I have finally seen someone human.

Running for his life, stumbling over the ground, and pursued by three snapping beasts, a man looked at me from thea distance.

I chosed to help - I don't know why really why, be. Being a bounty hunter doesn't predispose me to any kind of sympathy-.

I've killed all three beasts in three single shots.

The man continued to run without looking behind even without looking to mehim.

Three lives were taken to help one man.

Three to one doesn't really seems like justice; g. Great!

I don't like justice!.

Feedback

Good work.

Running for his life, stumbling over the ground, and being pursued by three snapping beasts, a manhe looked at me from the distance.

List of verbs/nouns should be similar. i.e. Running, Stumbling, and being. Ran, stumbled, and was pursued. The last item is a little "weird" because it switches from active usage to passive, but it should suffice.

"a man" does not sound right here. I think if you already used "his" earlier in the sentence, you should just follow and use "he." Something also that would be acceptable and perhaps more of what you wanted would be to use "the man."

I chosed to help -I doidn't know really why, beeing a bounty hunter doesn't predispose me to any kind of sympathy-.

Some mistakes, also retain past tense. Don't -> didn't

The man continued to run without looking behind even without looking toat me.

Three to one doesn't really seems like justice; great!

nikogp's avatar
nikogp

March 7, 2023

0

Thank you very much!

Being a bounty hunter


Being a bBounty hHunter

We capitalize the first letter of important words in titles.

After two days walking over these green lands, I have finally seen someone human.


After two days of walking over these green lands, I have finally seen someone human.

Running for his life, stumbling ove the ground, and pursued by three snapping beast, a man looked at me from the distance.


Running for his life, stumbling over the ground, and being pursued by three snapping beasts, a manhe looked at me from the distance.

List of verbs/nouns should be similar. i.e. Running, Stumbling, and being. Ran, stumbled, and was pursued. The last item is a little "weird" because it switches from active usage to passive, but it should suffice. "a man" does not sound right here. I think if you already used "his" earlier in the sentence, you should just follow and use "he." Something also that would be acceptable and perhaps more of what you wanted would be to use "the man."

Running for his life, stumbling over the ground, and pursued by three snapping beasts, a man looked at me from thea distance.

I chosed to help -I don't know really why, beeing a bounty hunter don't predispose me to any kind of sympathy-.


I chosed to help -I doidn't know really why, beeing a bounty hunter doesn't predispose me to any kind of sympathy-.

Some mistakes, also retain past tense. Don't -> didn't

I chosed to help - I don't know why really why, be. Being a bounty hunter doesn't predispose me to any kind of sympathy-.

I've killed all three beast in three single shots.


I've killed all three beasts in three single shots.

The man continued to run without lookig behind even without looking to me.


The man continued to run without looking behind even without looking toat me.

The man continued to run without looking behind even without looking to mehim.

Three lives taken to help one man.


Three lives were taken to help one man.

Three to one don't really seems justice; great!


Three to one doesn't really seems like justice; great!

Three to one doesn't really seems like justice; g. Great!

I don't like justice!.


I don't like justice!.

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