Aug. 14, 2020
Beaver cup
Yesterday, I went for a 10 km run. It somehow reminded me a run from last year as a part of the race called "Beaver cup" for teams consisting of 3 people—a runner, a cyclist, and a canoeist, and I was the runner. It took place on 5 October 2019. The weather was cool, wet and a bit rainy. The run was 15 km long. It's been my longest run so far. I don't usually exceed 10 km because I don't need to run more than that. So it was a bit harder for me to finish it. But that's not what is so special about it; there are plenty of running races longer than 15 km. I was told I will have to wade across the river a few times. What I did not expect was the fact I had to wade right at the beginning of the race 2 times in sequence. That was a complete shock to me, and I didn't know it until the river was right ahead of me and tens of people already in the water. It wasn't just a shallow ford. The height of water was something between the knees and the waist. It was so goddamn cold! My breath stopped, I just wasn't able to. Imagine that! You have to run and you can't breath because of the shock caused by the cold water! Fortunately, It doesn't last long; you regain your breath and continue. There were 2 more wading during the run and one more at the end of the run. To be honest, I was so warmed up during the run that I was even looking forward to the next wading. That was nuts! I don't think I'm gonna participate in the near future. Maybe you have figured out by now where the name comes from. It was a great experience, though.
Yesterday, I went for a 10 km-kilometer run.
It somehow reminded me of a run from last year that was a part of the race called "Beaver cup"." The race was for teams consisting of 3 people—a runner, a cyclist, and a canoeist, –and I was the runner.
I broke this up into two sentences because the original version was a bit of a run-on sentence (meaning it was too long).
I don't usually exceed 10 km because I don't need to run more than that, so it was a bit harder for me to finish.
But that's not what is so special about it;, because there are plenty of running races longer than 15 km.
I was told I willould have to wade across the river a few times.
WhaBut I did non't expect was the fact I hadthat I would have to wade across right at the beginning of the race 2two times in sequencea row.
That was a complete shock to me, and I didn't know it until the river was right ahead of me and tdozens of people were already in the water.
The height of water was somethingwater came up somewhere between themy knees and themy waist.
You could also say "The water came up above my knees" or "The water came up almost to my waist."
My breath stopped, I just wasn't able toI could hardly breathe.
You have to run and you can't breathe because of the shock caused by the cold water!
Fortunately, Iit doesn't last long; you regain your breath and continue.
There were 2 more wadingI had to wade two more times during the run and once more at the end of the run.
I don't think I'm gonna participate in the near futureing to do the run again anytime soon.
"Anytime soon" sounds a bit more casual, so it's a better match for the tone of this piece.
Feedback
This sounds like quite an experience! Just so you know, "two" is always written with letters (instead of "2").
Aug. 16, 2020
What a fantastic correction! I particularly appreciate the rephrasing of my sentences.
As for the run-on sentence, I don't think the sentence is incorrect. A run-on sentence occurs when two independent clauses are improperly connected. My sentence contains a single independent clause, and, therefore, it's not a run-on sentence. But it might sound oddly from your perspective.
Aug. 16, 2020
Ah yes, I see what you mean. Yeah, I think it sounded a little long to me, but not technically a run-on.
Beaver cup
Yesterday, I went for a 10 km run.
It somehow reminded me of a run from last year as a part of the race called "Beaver cup" for teams consisting of 3 people—a runner, a cyclist, and a canoeist, and I was the runner.
It took place on 5 October 2019.
The weather was cool, wet and a bit rainy.
The run was 15 km long.
It's been was my longest run so far.
I don't usually exceed 10 km because I don't need to run more than that.
So it was a bit harder for me to finish it.
But that's not what is so special about it; there are plenty of running races longer than 15 km.
I was told I will have to wade across the river a few times.
What I did not expect was the fact I had to wade right at the beginning of the race 2 times in sequence.
That was a complete shock to me, and I didn't know it until the river was right ahead of me and tens of people were already in the water.
It wasn't just a shallow ford.
The height of water was somethingwhere between the knees and the waist.
It was so goddamn cold!
My breathing stopped, I just wasn't able to.
Imagine that!
You have to run and you can't breathe because of the shock caused by the cold water!
Fortunately, It doesn't last long; you regain your breath and continue.
There were 2 more wadings during the run and one more at the end of the run.
To be honest, I was so warmed up during the run that I was even looking forward to the next wading.
That was nuts!
I don't think I'm gonna participate again in the near future.
Maybe you have figured out by now where the name comes from.
It was a great experience, though.
Feedback
Amazing! Well done, very impressive!
Beaver cup
Yesterday, I went for a 10 km run.
It somehow reminded me a run from last year as a part of the race called "Beaver cup" for teams consisting of 3 people—a runner, a cyclist, and a canoeist, —and I was the runner.
The run was 15 km long.
It's been was my longest run so far.
What I did not expect was the fact I had to wade twice right at the very beginning of the race 2 times in sequence.
The height of water was somethingwhere between the knees and the waist.
My breathing stopped,. I just wasn't able to.
Breath is the air, vapour, or smell you breathe out.
You have to run and you can't breathe because of the shock caused by the cold water!
Fortunately, It doesn't last long; you regain your breath and continue.
This breath is correct.
There were 2 more wadings during the run and one more at the end of the run.
You’ve kinda invented the noun wading, but I’m completely okay with it if you use it like one consistently.
I don't think I'm gonna participate in the near futuragain for a while.
Feedback
Not much to fault here. Native speakers are shocking at the breath/breathing/breathe distinction do don’t feel bad about that. Great job!
Aug. 14, 2020
It was a typo in one of the places. Unfortunately, I noticed it too late. Thanks for the great correction!
Before the sentence "what I did not expect", I said that I was told I will have to wade across the river, so that means I expected the wading, but not twice right at the very beginning. Should have I said it in a different way?
Aug. 14, 2020
Oh sorry, I edited that in after the fact, and the corrections are without context. Yours is fine!
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It was a great experience, though. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Beaver cup This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It was so goddamn cold! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My breath stopped, I just wasn't able to. My breathing stopped Breath is the air, vapour, or smell you breathe out. My breathing stopped, I just wasn't able to.
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Imagine that! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Maybe you have figured out by now where the name comes from. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Yesterday, I went for a 10 km run. Yesterday, I went for a 10 This sentence has been marked as perfect! Yesterday, I went for a 10 |
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It somehow reminded me a run from last year as a part of the race called "Beaver cup" for teams consisting of 3 people—a runner, a cyclist, and a canoeist, and I was the runner. It somehow reminded me a run from last year as a part of the race called "Beaver cup" for teams consisting of 3 people—a runner, a cyclist, and a canoeist It somehow reminded me of a run from last year as a part of the race called "Beaver cup" for teams consisting of 3 people—a runner, a cyclist, and a canoeist, and I was the runner. It I broke this up into two sentences because the original version was a bit of a run-on sentence (meaning it was too long). |
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It took place on 5 October 2019. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The weather was cool, wet and a bit rainy. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The run was 15 km long. The run was 15 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It's been my longest run so far. It It |
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I don't usually exceed 10 km because I don't need to run more than that. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I don't usually exceed 10 km because I don't need to run more than that, so it was a bit harder for me to finish. |
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So it was a bit harder for me to finish it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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But that's not what is so special about it; there are plenty of running races longer than 15 km. This sentence has been marked as perfect! But that's not what is so special about it |
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I was told I will have to wade across the river a few times. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I was told I w |
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What I did not expect was the fact I had to wade right at the beginning of the race 2 times in sequence. What I did not expect was the fact I had to wade twice right at the very beginning of the race This sentence has been marked as perfect!
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That was a complete shock to me, and I didn't know it until the river was right ahead of me and tens of people already in the water. That was a complete shock to me, and I didn't know it until the river was right ahead of me and tens of people were already in the water. That was a complete shock to me, and I didn't know it until the river was right ahead of me and |
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It wasn't just a shallow ford. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The height of water was something between the knees and the waist. The height of water was some The height of water was some The You could also say "The water came up above my knees" or "The water came up almost to my waist." |
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You have to run and you can't breath because of the shock caused by the cold water! You have to run and you can't breathe because of the shock caused by the cold water! You have to run and you can't breathe because of the shock caused by the cold water! You have to run and you can't breathe because of the shock caused by the cold water! |
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Fortunately, It doesn't last long; you regain your breath and continue. Fortunately, It doesn't last long; you regain your breath and continue. This breath is correct. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Fortunately, |
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There were 2 more wading during the run and one more at the end of the run. There were 2 more wadings during the run and one more at the end of the run. You’ve kinda invented the noun wading, but I’m completely okay with it if you use it like one consistently. There were 2 more wadings during the run and one more at the end of the run.
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To be honest, I was so warmed up during the run that I was even looking forward to the next wading. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That was nuts! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I don't think I'm gonna participate in the near future. I don't think I'm gonna participate I don't think I'm gonna participate again in the near future. I don't think I'm go "Anytime soon" sounds a bit more casual, so it's a better match for the tone of this piece. |
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