Nov. 11, 2020
Bear Attack!
It was a pleasant and sunny august day in a village in the coast of New Bruswick, Canada. Damian and Danny, both sixteen, decided to go for a walk in one of the forest trails near the village. Never did they think that it could be dangerous walking near there, but in instants they got involved in the most terrorizing three hours of their lifes.
Usually, life is like that. Things seems to be calm until, out of nowhere, without warning, a serious accident happens or you get a major illness that changes everything.
They noticed that everything was strangely quiet - too quiet. When they looked back, less than ten meters behind them there was a giant black bear! That caused an immense scare in the boys, but they had not much fear, because they had read that black bears tend to keep away from people. Then, they started to get away really slowly.
Era um agradável e ensolarado dia de agosto em um vilarejo na costa de New Bruswick, Canadá. Damian e Danny, ambos com dezesseis anos, resolveram dar uma caminhada em uma das trilhas da floresta próxima à aldeia. Nunca lhes passou pela cabeça que pudesse existir qualquer perigo em andar por aquelas trilhas, mas não demorou para que se achassem envolvidos nas mais aterradoras três horas de suas vidas.
Geralmente a vida é assim. As coisas parecem estar bem tranquilas até que, de repente, sem nenhum aviso, acontece um acidente sério ou surge uma doença grave que muda tudo.
Eles notaram que tudo estava estranhamente quieto – quieto até demais. Quando olharam para trás, a menos de dez metros deles havia um enorme urso negro! Aquilo causou um imenso susto nos rapazes, mas não tiveram muito medo, pois haviam lido que os ursos negros costumam evitar as pessoas. Eles começaram então a se afastar vagarosamente.
Bear Attack!
It was a pleasant and sunny aAugust day in a village ion the coast of New Bruswick, Canada.
Damian and Danny, both sixteen, decided to go for a walk in one of the forest trails near the village.
Never did they think that it could be dangerous walking near therethrough the woods, but in an instants they got involved in the most terrorizing three hours of their lifves.
Usually, life is like that.
Things seems to be calm until, out of nowhere, and without warning, a serious accident happens or you get a major illness that changes everything.
They noticed that everything was strangely quiet - too quiet.
When they looked back, there, less than ten meters behind them there, was a giant black bear!
That causedIt gave the boys an immense scare in the boys, but they had not much fear, but they quickly became less afraid, because they had read that black bears tend to keep away from people.
The first to lines of your writing were kind of contradictory, but I guessed as best I could.
Then, they started to gret awayreat really slowly.
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Great Job! Just a few corrections!
Bear Attack!
It was a pleasant and sunny aAugust day in a village ion the coast of New Bruswick, Canada.
Damian and Danny, both sixteen, decided to go for a walk in one of the forest trails near the village.
Never did they think that it could be dangerous walking near there, but in instantin the forest, but within seconds they got involved in the most terrorizing three hours of their lifves.
You could also say "They never thought that it could be dangerous~" but I have seen writers use the passive form like this for stylistic purposes.
Usually, life is like that.
Things seems to be calm until, out of nowhere, without warning, a serious accident happens or you get a major illness that changes everything.
Personally, I would take out "you get a major illness" part. In written language, using the subject pronoun "you" in the middle of a sentence sounds very informal and interrupts the flow of the sentence. If it were me I would write "~~a serious accident or major diagnosis change everything."
They noticed that everything was strangely quiet - too quiet.
When they looked back, less than ten meters behind them, there was a giant black bear!
That caused an immenseis scare ind the boys immensely, but they had not much fear, because tlittle to fear. They had read that black bears tend to keep away from people.
The passive voice sounds unnatural here and should probably be avoided unless you are using it for very specific stylistic reasons.
I broke up the sentences to make it easier to digest the information.
Then, they started to getback away really slowly.
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Bear Attack! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It was a pleasant and sunny august day in a village in the coast of New Bruswick, Canada. It was a pleasant and sunny It was a pleasant and sunny |
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Damian and Danny, both sixteen, decided to go for a walk in one of the forest trails near the village. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Never did they think that it could be dangerous walking near there, but in instants they got involved in the most terrorizing three hours of their lifes. Never did they think that it could be dangerous walking You could also say "They never thought that it could be dangerous~" but I have seen writers use the passive form like this for stylistic purposes. Never did they think that it could be dangerous walking |
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Usually, life is like that. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Things seems to be calm until, out of nowhere, without warning, a serious accident happens or you get a major illness that changes everything. Things seem Personally, I would take out "you get a major illness" part. In written language, using the subject pronoun "you" in the middle of a sentence sounds very informal and interrupts the flow of the sentence. If it were me I would write "~~a serious accident or major diagnosis change everything." Things seem |
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They noticed that everything was strangely quiet - too quiet. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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When they looked back, less than ten meters behind them there was a giant black bear! When they looked back, less than ten meters behind them, there was a giant black bear! When they looked back, there, less than ten meters behind them |
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That caused an immense scare in the boys, but they had not much fear, because they had read that black bears tend to keep away from people. Th The passive voice sounds unnatural here and should probably be avoided unless you are using it for very specific stylistic reasons. I broke up the sentences to make it easier to digest the information.
The first to lines of your writing were kind of contradictory, but I guessed as best I could. |
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Then, they started to get away really slowly. Then, they started to Then |
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