shiera's avatar
shiera

May 17, 2020

0
An Interesting Phenomenon

When I walk on a crosswalk at the green light, I frequently encounter rude cars coming very close to me, which is about to run over me. Even taxi drivers do such a thing. On small and narrow streets, I see many cars turning around the corner without flicking on the indicator and almost run over me.
A rude car touched the hem of my overcoat on a crosswalk. Since then I've made it a rule to stop before crossing inspite of the green light. Even on small and narrow streets without signals, I decided to stop crossing whenever I saw any car around there.
Then, I saw an interesting phenomenon.
When I stop crossing, the cars stop moving as well. They were waiting for me to cross over. I took back my rule and walked on a crosswalk at the green light as before, then the cars were slowly coming very close to me as if they run over me as before.
Again, I followed my rule and stopped crossing despite the green light when I saw any car, then they stopped to wait fo me to cross over.
What an interesting thing!!
I think these drivers can't make a big decision by themselves and always follow stronger persons than them, not rules. Because they are very mentally weak but they want to show that they are strong to the appearently weaker persons than them.
Probably, only social psychologists know this reason why they change their behaviors.

Corrections

An Interesting Phenomenon

When I walk onacross a crosswalk at the green light, I frequently encounter rude cadrivers coming very close to me, which islike they are about to run over me.

You can say you are walking "on" a crosswalk, but I think it sounds a little nicer to say "across", since you are walking across the street to the other side.

I don't hear people say "rude cars", but rather "rude drivers". It is the driver that is being rude, not the car. When you say the driver got close to me, the person you are talking to knows you mean the car got close to you.

Even taxi drivers do such a thing.

On small and narrow streets, I see many cars turning around the corner without flicking on the indicator, ands a result almost running over me.

You should say "turning the corner". "Turning around" in terms of driving means, for example, you were driving north and realized you were going the wrong way, so you turned around and you are now driving south.
I got rid of "and" and added "as a result" to make it sound smoother. You use "as a result" when you are describing something, and later in the sentence telling the result.

A rude car touched the hem of my overcoat on a crosswalk.

Either "a rude driver" or "a car". In this sentence, it makes more sense though to say "a car", since that was the thing that touched your coat.

Since then, I've made it a rule to stop before crossing, in spite of the green light.

Transitional words/phrases like "since then" need a comma afterwards when they begin a sentence

Even on small and narrow streets without signals, I decided to stop crossing whenever I saw any car around there.

Then, I sawnoticed an interesting phenomenon.

saw works too, but noticed sounds better here :)

When I stopped crossing, the cars stopped moving as well.

They were waiting for me to cross over.

I took back my rule and walked onacross a crosswalk atduring the green light once as before, t. Then, the cars were slowly coming very close to me, as if they were going to run over me as beforegain.

"during the green light" sounds better than "at the green light", because when you say "during", you are saying that you are walking across at the time span that the light was green.

Split the sentences into two to make it sound better, got rid of one "as before" and put "again" to reduce repetitiveness (which is when you use the same words a lot close to each other)

Again, I followed my rule and stopped crossing despite the green light when I saw any car, then they stopped to wait for me to cross over.

What an interesting thing!!

I think these drivers can't make a big decision by themselves, and instead always follow stronger personsople than them, not rules.

Because they are very mentally weak, but they want to show that they are strong to the appearentsupposedly weaker personsople than them.

When you say "apparently weaker people" in this sentence, it means that to your surprise these people are probably weaker. When you say "supposedly", it shows WAY more doubt. I would read into the difference of these two words, and see when to use them.

Probably, only social psychologists know thise reason why they change their behaviors.

Feedback

Beautifully written and interesting story!!

shiera's avatar
shiera

May 17, 2020

0

Thank you very much for the corrections and the explanations!!
I learned some new expressions, once as before, supposedly, and how to use instead(^^)

An Interesting Phenomenon

When I walk on a crosswalk at thea green light, I frequently encounter rude cars coming very close to me, which isthat come so close they're about to run over me.

I deleted the first "to me" because it can sound a bit repetitive.

Even taxi drivers do such a thing.

On small and narrow streets, I see many cars turning around the corner without flicking on the indicator and almost running over me.

A rude car touched the hem of my overcoat on a crosswalk.

Since then, I've made it a rule to stop before crossing in spite of the green light.

Even on small and narrow streets without signals, I decided to stop crossing whenever I saw any car around there.

Then, I saw an interesting phenomenon.

When I stopped crossing, the cars stopped moving as well.

This sentence is in present tense while the ones before and after are in past tense; I changed the verb tense to make it consistent (but the sentence you wrote is grammatically correct).

They were waiting for me to cross over.

I took back my rule and walked on a crosswalk at the green light aslike before, and then the cars were slowly comingame very close to me as if theyo run over me as beforegain.

Again, I followed my rule and stopped crossing despite the green light when I saw any car,; then they stopped to wait for me to cross over.

What an interesting thing!!

I think these drivers can't make a big decisions by themselves and always follow stronger personsople than them, not rules.

Because tThey are very mentally weak but they want to show that they are strong toer than the appearently weaker persons than themople.

Probably, only social psychologists know this reason as to why they change their behaviors.

Feedback

Good job on your text! It's horrible that people don't drive well and watch out for pedestrians; stay safe!

shiera's avatar
shiera

May 17, 2020

0

Thank you very much for the corrections and the explanations!!
Yes recently such rude drivers are increasing in Tokyo. When you visit Japan, please be careful of them(>.<)

An Interesting Phenomenon


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

When I walk on a crosswalk at the green light, I frequently encounter rude cars coming very close to me, which is about to run over me.


When I walk on a crosswalk at thea green light, I frequently encounter rude cars coming very close to me, which isthat come so close they're about to run over me.

I deleted the first "to me" because it can sound a bit repetitive.

When I walk onacross a crosswalk at the green light, I frequently encounter rude cadrivers coming very close to me, which islike they are about to run over me.

You can say you are walking "on" a crosswalk, but I think it sounds a little nicer to say "across", since you are walking across the street to the other side. I don't hear people say "rude cars", but rather "rude drivers". It is the driver that is being rude, not the car. When you say the driver got close to me, the person you are talking to knows you mean the car got close to you.

Even taxi drivers do such a thing.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

On small and narrow streets, I see many cars turning around the corner without flicking on the indicator and almost run over me.


On small and narrow streets, I see many cars turning around the corner without flicking on the indicator and almost running over me.

On small and narrow streets, I see many cars turning around the corner without flicking on the indicator, ands a result almost running over me.

You should say "turning the corner". "Turning around" in terms of driving means, for example, you were driving north and realized you were going the wrong way, so you turned around and you are now driving south. I got rid of "and" and added "as a result" to make it sound smoother. You use "as a result" when you are describing something, and later in the sentence telling the result.

A rude car touched the hem of my overcoat on a crosswalk.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A rude car touched the hem of my overcoat on a crosswalk.

Either "a rude driver" or "a car". In this sentence, it makes more sense though to say "a car", since that was the thing that touched your coat.

Since then I've made it a rule to stop before crossing inspite of the green light.


Since then, I've made it a rule to stop before crossing in spite of the green light.

Since then, I've made it a rule to stop before crossing, in spite of the green light.

Transitional words/phrases like "since then" need a comma afterwards when they begin a sentence

Even on small and narrow streets without signals, I decided to stop crossing whenever I saw any car around there.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Then, I saw an interesting phenomenon.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Then, I sawnoticed an interesting phenomenon.

saw works too, but noticed sounds better here :)

When I stop crossing, the cars stop moving as well.


When I stopped crossing, the cars stopped moving as well.

This sentence is in present tense while the ones before and after are in past tense; I changed the verb tense to make it consistent (but the sentence you wrote is grammatically correct).

When I stopped crossing, the cars stopped moving as well.

They were waiting for me to cross over.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I took back my rule and walked on a crosswalk at the green light as before, then the cars were slowly coming very close to me as if they run over me as before.


I took back my rule and walked on a crosswalk at the green light aslike before, and then the cars were slowly comingame very close to me as if theyo run over me as beforegain.

I took back my rule and walked onacross a crosswalk atduring the green light once as before, t. Then, the cars were slowly coming very close to me, as if they were going to run over me as beforegain.

"during the green light" sounds better than "at the green light", because when you say "during", you are saying that you are walking across at the time span that the light was green. Split the sentences into two to make it sound better, got rid of one "as before" and put "again" to reduce repetitiveness (which is when you use the same words a lot close to each other)

Again, I followed my rule and stopped crossing despite the green light when I saw any car, then they stopped to wait fo me to cross over.


Again, I followed my rule and stopped crossing despite the green light when I saw any car,; then they stopped to wait for me to cross over.

Again, I followed my rule and stopped crossing despite the green light when I saw any car, then they stopped to wait for me to cross over.

What an interesting thing!!


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I think these drivers can't make a big decision by themselves and always follow stronger persons than them, not rules.


I think these drivers can't make a big decisions by themselves and always follow stronger personsople than them, not rules.

I think these drivers can't make a big decision by themselves, and instead always follow stronger personsople than them, not rules.

Because they are very mentally weak but they want to show that they are strong to the appearently weaker persons than them.


Because tThey are very mentally weak but they want to show that they are strong toer than the appearently weaker persons than themople.

Because they are very mentally weak, but they want to show that they are strong to the appearentsupposedly weaker personsople than them.

When you say "apparently weaker people" in this sentence, it means that to your surprise these people are probably weaker. When you say "supposedly", it shows WAY more doubt. I would read into the difference of these two words, and see when to use them.

Probably, only social psychologists know this reason why they change their behaviors.


Probably, only social psychologists know this reason as to why they change their behaviors.

Probably, only social psychologists know thise reason why they change their behaviors.

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