An eEssay

In English, all nouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, pronouns, etc., are capitalized in a title.

According to the letter, the women suggests that the school should set up a snack shop which is operated totally by studentsthat is completely student-operated.

Your subject of “The letter” and “the women” is vague if the reader doesn’t have any context so I can’t know whether the top part is correct or not.

This e women suggested this because it canould offer a lot of job opportunities and convenience to students.

The man supports this change.

This is grammatically correct but once again quite vague.

To begin with, he points out that such a student-run snack shop canould provide students withe useful job experiences, which can train the students’ business abilityies.

“Student-run” is unnecessary here because it’s already implied.

Moreover, he argues that it canwould be more convenient for students, as eating in the cafeteria of school needed tocan take a long time.

“The school” is unneeded here.

And althougheven if one has a car, it can take a half of an hour should be taken for a shopping in theto shop in town.

Not to mention the students who don’t have a car.

Another way to put this would be, “Not to mention the students who don’t have cars”.

TheA snack shop on campus willould be convenient, and the time saved canllowing more time to be usaved for studying.

I’m using the conditional tense here because you’ve alluded throughout your essay of the possibility of a snack shop, and not the certainty of it coming into existence.