March 18, 2022
About studying music (C1 CAE Writing)
Write paragraphs to answer the question: about studying music
In some schools, students must study music and learn to play a musical instrument. In other schools, studying music may not be required or there may be no music classes at all.
Do you think all students should have to study music?
Support your opinion with reasons and examples.
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(Notes: is there anything that doesn’t sond natural? What would you write in replace of?)
(ANSWER)
Nowadays, working market is extremely competitive and is especially interested in scientist and technical areas of knowledge. That is the main reason why music is not a mandatory subject in most of schools.
As an class related to arts, music is not as promoted as other subjects due to the fact that is considered impractical for children's future and, an entertainment rather than a job for adults. These misconceptions of music classes is nowhere near to be correct. For example, Albert Einstein played violin, and he often said that music had helped him improve his creativity, what was really useful for him in physics. In other words, music favours the development of a better working brain in general terms.
Music has been part of us since our origins, so why do people not demand it as a compulsory subject in all schools? My opinion on this topic is very clear, students should benefit from music as much as they have to do with maths, biology or chemistry.
In addition to the above, playing musical instruments is a really amused way of interacting and communicating with other people. That could be an important tool for the music teacher to use in order to remove barriers between differents groups of children in the class and help some of them socialise.
Another reason to support music classes comes from the music that teens and youth usually listen. It is very repetitive and lacks of creativity (using always the sames tunes and samples). I used 'it' to highlight that I do not refer to any especific musical genre, though most people only think in Reggaeton at this point, wrongly.
To conclude, schoools should not be influenced by political or economical ideologies, in order not to give more importance to technical subjects and take back music to the classes.
Is there anything that doesn’t sond natural?
What would you write in replace of?
About studying music (C1 CAE Writing)
Write paragraphs to answer the question: about studying music
In some schools, students must study music and learn to play a musical instrument.
In other schools, studying music may not be required or there may be no music classes at all.
Do you think all students should have to study music?
Support your opinion with reasons and examples.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Notes: is there anything that doesn’t sound natural? What would you write in replace of? it with?)
(ANSWER)
Nowadays, the working market is extremely competitive and is especially interested in scientistfic and technical areas of knowledge.
That is the main reason why music is not a mandatory subject in most of schools.
As an class related to the arts, music is not as promoted as other subjects due to the fact that is considered both impractical for children's future and, an form of entertainment rather than a job for adults.
Nice! I've just reworded some of this for clarity :)
These misconceptions ofabout music classes isare nowhere near to be correct.
For example, Albert Einstein played violin, and he often said that music had helped him improve his creativity, whatich was really useful for him in physics.
In other words, music favourpromotes the development of a better working brain in general terms.
The word "favours" doesn't quite work here, as it implies that music itself prefers brains which are developing well -- "promotes" is a better fit :)
Another option (which could be more accurate to what you are saying) is "In general terms, music promotes the development of a better working brain."
Music has been part of us since our origins, so why do people not demand it asfor it to be a compulsory subject in all schools?
My opinion on this topic is very clear,: students shwould benefit from learning music as much as they have to do withdo from maths, biology or chemistry.
In addition to the above, playing musical instruments is a really amuseding way of interacting and communicating with other people.
That could be an important tool for the music teacher to use in order to remove barriers between differents groups of children in the class and help some of them socialise.
Another reason to support music classes comes from theis the low standard of music that teens and youth usually listen to.
Just reworded this to link it more to your point :)
It is very repetitive and lacks of creativity (using always the sames tunes and samples).
I used 'it' to highlight that I do not refer to any especific musical genre, though most people only think inof Reggaeton at this point, wrongly.
To conclude, schoools should not be influenced by political or economical ideologies, in order not and should thus stop giveing more importance to technical subjects and takebring back music to the classes.
Feedback
Great job! This was well-written and had some very interesting ideas.
March 26, 2022
Thank you so much Caiti for all your corrections, they are very detailed.
March 26, 2022
Thank you so much Caity for all your corrections, they are very detailed.
March 27, 2022
Thank you so much Caity for all your corrections, they are very detailed.
No worries!
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About studying music (C1 CAE Writing) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Write paragraphs to answer the question: about studying music This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In some schools, students must study music and learn to play a musical instrument. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In other schools, studying music may not be required or there may be no music classes at all. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Do you think all students should have to study music? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Support your opinion with reasons and examples. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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(Notes: is there anything that doesn’t sond natural? What would you write in replace of? ) (Note |
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(ANSWER) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Nowadays, working market is extremely competitive and is especially interested in scientist and technical areas of knowledge. Nowadays, the working market is extremely competitive and is especially interested in scienti |
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That is the main reason why music is not a mandatory subject in most of schools. That is the main reason why music is not a mandatory subject in most |
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As an class related to arts, music is not as promoted as other subjects due to the fact that is considered impractical for children's future and, an entertainment rather than a job for adults. As a Nice! I've just reworded some of this for clarity :) |
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These misconceptions of music classes is nowhere near to be correct. These misconceptions |
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For example, Albert Einstein played violin, and he often said that music had helped him improve his creativity, what was really useful for him in physics. For example, Albert Einstein played violin, and he often said that music |
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In other words, music favours the development of a better working brain in general terms. In other words, music The word "favours" doesn't quite work here, as it implies that music itself prefers brains which are developing well -- "promotes" is a better fit :) Another option (which could be more accurate to what you are saying) is "In general terms, music promotes the development of a better working brain." |
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Music has been part of us since our origins, so why do people not demand it as a compulsory subject in all schools? Music has been part of us since our origins, so why do people not demand |
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My opinion on this topic is very clear, students should benefit from music as much as they have to do with maths, biology or chemistry. My opinion on this topic is very clear |
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In addition to the above, playing musical instruments is a really amused way of interacting and communicating with other people. In addition to the above, playing musical instruments is a really amus |
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That could be an important tool for the music teacher to use in order to remove barriers between differents groups of children in the class and help some of them socialise. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Another reason to support music classes comes from the music that teens and youth usually listen. Another reason to support music classes Just reworded this to link it more to your point :) |
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It is very repetitive and lacks of creativity (using always the sames tunes and samples). It is very repetitive and lacks |
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I used 'it' to highlight that I do not refer to any especific musical genre, though most people only think in Reggaeton at this point, wrongly. I used 'it' to highlight that I do not refer to any |
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To conclude, schoools should not be influenced by political or economical ideologies, in order not to give more importance to technical subjects and take back music to the classes. To conclude, schoools should not be influenced by political or economical ideologies, |
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