For the lpast week I've been listening a lot to podcasts on aone specific domain, which is psychology.

I've always been interested in psychology, and because thaas it's one of my favourite topics, I'm going to share with you some insights which I've stumbled upon this week.

First of all, I developed the amazing researcher Brene Brown, a professor from​ Texas and author of many books about vulnerability and shame.

what does 'developed' mean?

I recall my fierce twenties, when everything I was actually doing was beingall I would do is act rebellious and dismissing everything and everyone who tried to give me advice about life.

Hiding my worries and avoiding straight questions were thejust ways of defending myself, which let me just fade into the background, as a flawless and seemingly perfect person.

It was a safe, but also a lonely life.

FoOver the lpast week, I've been listening to a lot to podcasts onabout a specific domaintopic , which is psychology.

I decided to narrow down my field because I want to master at least one domain/field/area before exploring (the) other ones.

I've always been interested in psychology, and because thaas it's one of my favorite topics, I'm going to share with you some insights which I've stumbled upon this week.

First of all, I developed(?) listened to/read about/etc.. the amazing researcher Brene Brown, a professor from​ Texas and (an) author of many books about vulnerability and shame.

develop- Развивать. Нет смысла здесь.

These topics caught my attention because of my own qruite wreckned relationships, filled with shame and vulnerability throughout my whole/entire life.

I recall my fierceexciting twenties, when everything I was actually doing was being rebellious and, dismissing everything and everyone who tried to give me life advice about life.

Now I think the one and only reason for my demonstrative behavior, exceptbehavior, apart from hormones, was my unwillingness to be vulnerable.

Hiding my worries and avoiding straight/direct questions were the ways ofas how I defendinged myself, which let me justallowed me to fade into the background, as a flawless and seemingly perfect person.

Refusing to be vulnerability gavele did me a fat lot of good (-or so I thought).

It was a safe, but also a lonely life.

The trick is, when no one could get through your defense for hurting, no one could also reach you for caring.see that you were hurting on the inside, no one could was able to care for you.

I understand what you mean here, but it sounds very unnatural

Wwhich means that, you don't get (to live through) painful experiences, but, similarly, you don't get love.

But when I began to recallminisce about my life ten years ago, it became crystal clear for me that I have deep relationships (filled) with shame, from keeping my texts unseen tohidden from others to mutconcealing my real feelings in intimate moments with others.

It would have been easier just to shut down myself emotionally and let my shame suffocate me.

I don't know why, despite the tense inner pressure, I was mostly choosing to sharinge, writinge and telling instead of closshutting myself off. (from others)

For the lpast week, I've been listening to a lot tof podcasts on a specific domain, which is psychology.

I decided to narrow down my field because I want to master at least one domain before exploring the other ones.

While this is grammatically correct, it feels a bit awkward because I don’t know if you’re majoring in the field (because it’s just about podcasts) or if you’re narrowing down your interests or narrowing down the podcast genres you’re listening to because you want to learn about a topic in-depth before you move on. I’ve rarely heard someone say that they “mastered” a topic just by listening to podcasts…

I've always been interested in psychology, and because that'it’s one of my favorite topics, I'm goingwant to share with you some insights which I'’ve stumbled uponacross this week.

First of all, I developiscovered the amazing researcher Brene Brown,; a professor from​ Texas and an author of many books about vulnerability and shame.

In her books and lectures, Brene speaks about the importance of being vulnerable and sharing with others your true feelings and thoughts with others.

In her opinion, that's the only way to establish meaningful connections, is to build friendships and find love.

These topics caught my attention because of my own quite wrecbrokedn relationships filled with shame and vulnerability throughout my whole life.

I recall my fierce twenties, when everything I was actually doing was actually just being rebellious and. I was dismissing everything and everyone who tried to give me advice about life.

Now I think the one and only reason for my demonstrauctive behavior, exceptother than hormones, was my unwillingness to be vulnerable.

I was so scared by the possibility of revealing my weaknesses as a human creaturebeing that I pretended to feel good even though most of the time I didn't feel good.

Hiding my worries and avoiding straighdirect questions were the ways of defending myself, which. It let me just fade into the background, as a seemingly flawless and seemingly perfect person.

Refusing vulnerability gave me aA fat lot of good. that did me

Since no one knew about my weaknesses, I thought no one could  hurt or mock me.

It was a safe, but also a lonely life.

The trickuth is, when no one couldan get through your defense for hurting, no one could alsoan reach you for caring either.

Which means, you don't get painful experiences, but, similarly, you don't get love. by the same token, you don't get to experience love either.

My first thought was, ‘Ah, I can skip this part since there's nothing relevant for me.’

But when I began to recall my life ten years ago, i. It became crystal clear for me that I have deep relationships with shame,: from keeping my texts unseen tofrom others, to mutsuppressing/hiding my real feelings during intimate moments with others.

It would have been easier just to shut down myself down emotionally and let my shame suffocate me.

For theThroughout last week, I've been listening to a lot tof podcasts on a specific domain, which is psychology.

"podcasts on a specific domain which is psychology." is a bit clunky, and "podcasts on psychology" makes it sound smoother.

I decided to narrow down my field of study because I want to master at least one domain before exploring the other ones.

"field of study" or "field of 'x.'" Just "my field" seems a bit odd here in my opinion.

I've always been interested in psychology, and because that's one of my favorite topics, I'm goingd like to share with you some insights which I'vesome discoveries that I stumbled upon this week.

I think the phrase "I'd like to share" is a better way of expressing the idea "I'm going to share." I also think that "discoveries" would fit here better than "insights," but this here is also personal touches I would do.

First of all, I developed the amazing researcher Brene Brown, a professor from​ Texas and author of many books about vulnerability and shame.

I am not sure what "developed" is intended to mean here. Are you trying to say "I delved into the works of the amazing researcher Brene Brown?"

In her opinion, that's the only way to establish meaningful connections,: building friendships and finding love.

These topics caught my attention because of my own quite wreckedwretched/miserable/etc. relationships riddled with shame and vulnerability throughout my whole life.

Rather than doing "quite *adj*" I gave a few other adjectives that may fit better here. "Riddled with" conveys a stronger meaning of the amount of shame and vulnerability you experienced through those relationships. "Throughout" already shows that it happened through your whole life, so "whole" is not necessary.

I recall my fierce twenties, when everything I was actually doing. All I did was being rebellious and, dismissing everything and everyone who tried/attempted to give me life advice about life.

Here, I rephrased this to sound a bit more natural. Feel free to ask if you want to know why I made these changes.

Now, I think the one and only reason for my demonstrativefiant/rebellious/unruly behavior, except hormones, was my unwillingness to be vulnerable.

I think you chose the word "demonstrative" because of demonstrations being a thing, but that is not related to the word demonstrative. Instead, this means to demonstrate something, a feeling/proof of something, etc.

I was so scared by the possibility of revealing my weakness as a human creature that I pretended to feel good even though most of the time I didn'tperson/human that I hid my true emotions by pretending to feel good.

I tried to keep most of what you had intact while making it sound more natural. "Human creature" seems a bit stiff here. Most of the time, people would use "person," but you can try using "human" also (still a bit of that stiffness). The section "I pretended to feel good even though most of the time I didn't feel good" is a bit wordy, so I condensed it to "I hid my true emotions by pretending to feel good." This also prevents the need to repeat "feel good."

Hiding my worries and avoiding straight questions were the ways of defending myself, which let me just fade into the background, as a flawless and seemingly perfect person.

Refusing vulnerability gave me a fatresulted in a whole lot of good.

"fat lot of" isn't really used, but I'd say that the closest expression I can think of is "whole lot of."

The trickhing is, when no one could get through your defense for hurting, no one could also reach you fors, there is also no one that can get through to caringe.

I think it's fine to just use defenses by itself, since it can be infered from context what the defense is for. The other part is more of a stylistic choice.

WThichs means, that you don't get painful experiences, but, similarly, you don't get love.

My first thought was, : "Ah, I can skip this part since there's nothing relevant for me."

But when I began to recall my life ten years ago, it became crystal clear forto me that I have deep relationships with shame, from keeping my texts unseen to others to muting my real feelings in intimate moments with others.

In all those moments, I often wanted to just fade away—: not write all that I'd written, not tell all what I’d told my partner, and not answer all the tricky questions about myself.

It would have been easier just to shut down myself down emotionally and let my shame suffocate , suffocating myself in shame.

I don't know why, despite all that tense inner pressure, I was mostly choosinge to sharing, writing and telling instead ofe and write rather than closing myself off completely.

iIt might be because I understood that if I had decided to keep silent, it would have been harder to start sharing and speaking again, despite through all the shame.

"despite the shame" means even though I had shame it would be harder to share and speak. So I think "through all the shame" might fit better with your intentions.