https://zim.vn/giai-de-ielts-writing-task-1-va-task-2-ngay-18012024 The bar chart illustrates the proportion of male and female employees whose ages ranged between 60 and 64 in four nations, namely Belgium, the USA, Japan and Indonesia. https://zim.vn/giai-de-ielts-writing-task-1-va-task-2-ngay-18012024 The bar chart illustrates the proportion of male and female employees whose ages ranged between 60 and 64 in four nations, namely Belgium, the USA, Japan and Indonesia.

Looking at the graph, I can see that it says Australia, not Indonesia, but I didn't correct it in case the link is wrong.

https://zim.vn/giai-de-ielts-writing-task-1-va-task-2-ngay-18012024 The bar chart illustrates the proportion of male and female employees whose ages ranged between 60 and 64 years-old in four nations namely Belgium, the USA. Countries represented include Belgium, United States, Japan and Indonesia. https://zim.vn/giai-de-ielts-writing-task-1-va-task-2-ngay-18012024 The bar chart illustrates the proportion of male and female employees whose ages ranged between 60 and 64 years-old in four nations. Countries represented include Belgium, United States, Japan and Indonesia.

The USA had the highest employment rate for men aged 60-64 in 1970, at 86%, followed closely by indonesia at 84%, then Belgium at 72%, and finally Japan at 76%. The USA had the highest employment rate for men aged 60-64 in 1970, at 86%, followed closely by indonesia at 84%, then Belgium at 72%, and finally Japan at 76%.

You should list Japan before Belgium because it has a higher percentage. The values here also seem different from the graph.

The USAnited States had the highest employment rate for men aged 60-64 years-old in 1970, at 86%, followed closely by iIndonesia at( 84%), then Belgium at (72%), and finally Japan at 76%.Japan (76%). The United States had the highest employment rate for men aged 60-64 years-old in 1970, at 86%, followed closely by Indonesia ( 84%), Belgium (72%), and Japan (76%).

While all four countries experienced a decline in unemployment over the next three decades, the ranking remained the same. While all four countries experienced a decline in unemployment over the next three decades, the ranking remained the same.

Belgium saw the steepest decline (27 percentage points%), while the USA's decrease was the smallest (8 percentage points%). Belgium saw the steepest decline (27 %), while the USA's decrease was the smallest (8%).

tTheir female counterparts’ employment rate had exactly the same ranking in 1970, but was much smaller, at 78%, 74%, 63%, and 52% respectively. Their female counterparts’ employment rate had exactly the same ranking in 1970, but was much smaller, at 78%, 74%, 63%, and 52% respectively.

Saying 'respectively' makes it more clear that you are listing the percentages in the same order you mentioned each country.

tTheir female counterparts’ employment rate had exactly the same ranking in 1970, but was much smaller, at 78%, 74%, 63%, and 52%, respectively. Their female counterparts’ employment rate had exactly the same ranking in 1970, but was much smaller, at 78%, 74%, 63%, and 52%, respectively.

bBy 2000, the percentage decreased to about half in all the countries except bBelgiu,m, where a mere 8% remained employed. By 2000, the percentage decreased to about half in all the countries except Belgium, where a mere 8% remained employed.

It is not clear here whether you are talking about the percentage of women or men here.

byBu 2000, the percentage decreased to about half in all of the countries except bBelgiu,where a mere 8% remained employedm, which had an 8% unemployment rate. Bu 2000, the percentage decreased to about half in all of the countries except Belgium, which had an 8% unemployment rate.