kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Aug. 11, 2021

0
A wonderful Night

It has been raining for about half a month. It was cloudy and cool at dusk, it was a good time to exercise. To play basketball or ride a bike? I thought a while and decided to ride. I wanted to connect with the nature.
There were a few people having a walk as well. Wind was blowing softly. Birds were either flying in the sky or jumping on the road. Sevaral bamboo branches had been bending down with drops like a rainbow. After I left the town, there wasn't anyone in the field. What I saw and heard were the nature itself. It was so peaceful that I was delighted.
After coming back, I ate a half frozen watermelon when reading novel. I was so full and satisfied. Then I played drums and made a small progress.
What a wonderful night!

Corrections

A wWonderful Night

It has been raining for about half a month.

This is correct, but "It has been raining four about two weeks" sounds more natural. People don't say "half a month" all that often.

It was cloudy and cool at dusk, so it was a good time to exercise.

These are both independent clauses, so you need a coordinating conjunction ("so") to connect them.

ToShould I play basketball or ride a bike?

I thought for a while and decided to ride my bike.

I wanted to connect with the nature.

"Nature" is uncountable if you're talking about plants, trees, animals, scenery, etc.
https://ell.stackexchange.com/questions/153155/the-nature-vs-nature

There were a few people havingon a walk as well.

"Having a week" sounds odd.

Wind was blowing softly.

Birds were either flying in the sky or jumping on the road.

Sevaral bamboo branches had been bending down with drops like a rainbow.

After I left the town, there wasn't anyone in the field.

What I saw and heard were theas nature itself.

More nature: "All that I saw and heard was nature itself."

It was so peaceful that I was delighted.

More natural: "I was delighted by how peaceful it was."

After coming back, I ate a half -frozen watermelon whilen reading a novel.

A half-frozen watermelon = a watermelon that is a little frozen, but not completely (an entire watermelon!)
Half of a frozen watermelon = one half of an entirely frozen watermelon

I was so full and satisfied.

Then I played drums and made a smalllittle progress (in learning a rhythm?).

What a wonderful night!

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Aug. 12, 2021

0

Thanks for your corrections.

A wonderful Night

It has been raining for about half a monthtwo weeks straight.

Sounds more natural than "half a month"

It was cloudy and cool at dusk, so it was a good time to exercise.

ToBut I had to decide, should I play basketball or ride amy bike?

I thought for a while and decided to ride my bike.

Just "ride" by itself is ambiguous

I wanted to connect with the nature.

There were a few people havout taking a walk as well.

WThe wind was blowing softly.

Birds were eitherout, some flying in the sky orand others jumping on the road.

Sevaeral bamboo branches had been bendingwere bent down, with drops hanging off them, like a rainbow.

Not sure what you mean here, are the drops like a rainbow or the branches are like a rainbow?

After I left the town, there wasn't anyone in the fieldsight.

"in the field", which field? You could say "anyone in sight" to express that you did not see anyone around you after leaving the town.

What I saw and heard were theas nature itself.

It was so peacefuldelighted by the fact that Iit was delightedso peaceful.

After coming back home, I ate a half frozen watermelon whilen reading a novel.

I was so full and satisfied.

Then I played my drums, and madenoticed a small improgressvement in my playing.

What a wonderful night!

Feedback

Good job! Just some stylistic and grammar notes.

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Aug. 12, 2021

0

Sevaeral bamboo branches had been bendingwere bent down, with drops hanging off them, like a rainbow.

The bamboos bent like a rainbow. It was just like an arch.

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Aug. 12, 2021

0

After I left the town, there wasn't anyone in the fieldsight.

There is a field next to the town. It's my fault not to declare it.

kiwy's avatar
kiwy

Aug. 12, 2021

0

Thanks for your corrections!

A wonderful Night


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A wWonderful Night

It has been raining for about half a month.


It has been raining for about half a monthtwo weeks straight.

Sounds more natural than "half a month"

It has been raining for about half a month.

This is correct, but "It has been raining four about two weeks" sounds more natural. People don't say "half a month" all that often.

It was cloudy and cool at dusk, it was a good time to exercise.


It was cloudy and cool at dusk, so it was a good time to exercise.

It was cloudy and cool at dusk, so it was a good time to exercise.

These are both independent clauses, so you need a coordinating conjunction ("so") to connect them.

To play basketball or ride a bike?


ToBut I had to decide, should I play basketball or ride amy bike?

ToShould I play basketball or ride a bike?

I thought a while and decided to ride.


I thought for a while and decided to ride my bike.

Just "ride" by itself is ambiguous

I thought for a while and decided to ride my bike.

I wanted to connect with the nature.


I wanted to connect with the nature.

I wanted to connect with the nature.

"Nature" is uncountable if you're talking about plants, trees, animals, scenery, etc. https://ell.stackexchange.com/questions/153155/the-nature-vs-nature

There were a few people having a walk as well.


There were a few people havout taking a walk as well.

There were a few people havingon a walk as well.

"Having a week" sounds odd.

Wind was blowing softly.


WThe wind was blowing softly.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Birds were either flying in the sky or jumping on the road.


Birds were eitherout, some flying in the sky orand others jumping on the road.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Sevaral bamboo branches had been bending down with drops like a rainbow.


Sevaeral bamboo branches had been bendingwere bent down, with drops hanging off them, like a rainbow.

Not sure what you mean here, are the drops like a rainbow or the branches are like a rainbow?

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

After I left the town, there wasn't anyone in the field.


After I left the town, there wasn't anyone in the fieldsight.

"in the field", which field? You could say "anyone in sight" to express that you did not see anyone around you after leaving the town.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

What I saw and heard were the nature itself.


What I saw and heard were theas nature itself.

What I saw and heard were theas nature itself.

More nature: "All that I saw and heard was nature itself."

It was so peaceful that I was delighted.


It was so peacefuldelighted by the fact that Iit was delightedso peaceful.

It was so peaceful that I was delighted.

More natural: "I was delighted by how peaceful it was."

After coming back, I ate a half frozen watermelon when reading novel.


After coming back home, I ate a half frozen watermelon whilen reading a novel.

After coming back, I ate a half -frozen watermelon whilen reading a novel.

A half-frozen watermelon = a watermelon that is a little frozen, but not completely (an entire watermelon!) Half of a frozen watermelon = one half of an entirely frozen watermelon

I was so full and satisfied.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Then I played drums and made a small progress.


Then I played my drums, and madenoticed a small improgressvement in my playing.

Then I played drums and made a smalllittle progress (in learning a rhythm?).

What a wonderful night!


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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