Feb. 4, 2024
A trip to a bread factory (39)
I would appreciate if you could help me sound more natural even if you have to change whole sentences. Thank you.
There was an international exchange association in my town, and they organize a day trip once a year.
The people who are from foreign countries living in my town or nearby town can go on the trip.
I go on the trip as a volunteer.
We went on the trip yesterday.
The itinerary included visiting a bread factory, and trying to bake some bread.
I tried making a cat bread.
I shaped the cat face first and drew the eyes and some whiskers with chocolate on it and baked.
いつも手伝ってくれてありがとうございます。私の文章を全部変えてもらっても構いませんので、自然に聞こえるように直してもらえると嬉しいです。
私の町には国際交流会があり、一年に一度遠足があります。
私の町や、近隣の町に住んでる外国から来た人々がこの遠足に参加できます。
私は、ボランティアとして参加します。
昨日その遠足に行きました。
旅行の日程には、パン工場に行ってパンを焼く体験が含まれていました。
私は、猫の顔の形のパンを作ってみました。
最初に猫の顔を形作りその上にチョコレートで目と髭を描きました。
A trip to a bread factory (39)
I would appreciate if you could help me sound more natural even if you have to change whole sentences.
Thank you.
There wais an international exchange association in my town, and they organize a day trip once a year.
The people who are from foreign countrieForeigners living in my town or in nearby towns can go on the trip.
I go on the trip as a volunteer.
We went on the trip yesterday.
The itinerary included visiting a bread factory, and trying to bakebaking some bread.
I tried making a cat breadbread shaped like a cat.
I shaped the cat face first and then drew the eyes and some whiskers on it with chocolate on it and baked.before baking it.
Feedback
Sounds fun!
Feb. 5, 2024
I had fun! Thank you so much for your correction!
A trip to athe bread factory
I would appreciate if you could help me sound more natural even if you have to change whole sentences.
Thank you.
There wais an international exchange association in my town, and they organize a day trip once a year.
The people who are from foreign countriesForeigners who livinge in my town or nearbya neighbouring town can go on the trip.
I usually go on the trip as a volunteer.
I assume this is habitually? If so then this is correct. If you’re talking about this trip in particular then you use the past tense.
We went on the trip yesterday.
The itinerary included visiting aa tour of the bread factory, and trying to bake some breada bread baking workshop.
Itinerary is a structured list of activities planned for a trip. (It typically lists more than two activities.) I personally find it a little out of place to use with “trying” because this word describes a personal/subjective experience.
I tried making a cat bread.
I shaped the cat face first, and then drew on the eyes and some whiskers with chocolate on it, and baked it.
Feedback
Hope you had a great time!
Feb. 5, 2024
Thank you for your correction!
There wais an international exchange association in my town, and they organize a day trip once a year.
The people who are from foreign countrieForeigners living in my town or nearby town cans are welcome to go on the trip.
I go on the tripalso went, but as a volunteer.
I shaped the cat face first and, then drew the eyes and some whiskers on it with chocolate on it and bakedbefore baking it.
Feb. 5, 2024
Thank you so much for your correction!
A trip to a bread factory
I would appreciate if you could help me sound more natural even if you have to change whole sentences.
Thank you.
There was an international exchange association in my town, and they which organizes a day trip once aeach year.
The people who are from foreign countriesForeigner it the people living in my town or nearby town can go on the trip.s are welcome.
I go on the trip as a volunteer.
We went on theis trip yesterday.
The itinerary included visiting a bread factory, and trying to bake some bread.
I tried making a cat breadbread in a shape of a cat.
I shaped the cat’s face first and drew the eyes and some whiskers with chocolate on it andand then baked it.
Feb. 5, 2024
Thank you so much for your correction!
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I would appreciate if you could help me sound more natural even if you have to change whole sentences. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Thank you. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A trip to a bread factory This sentence has been marked as perfect! A trip to |
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The itinerary included visiting a bread factory, and trying to bake some bread. This sentence has been marked as perfect! The itinerary included Itinerary is a structured list of activities planned for a trip. (It typically lists more than two activities.) I personally find it a little out of place to use with “trying” because this word describes a personal/subjective experience. The itinerary included visiting a bread factory |
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I tried making a cat bread. I tried making This sentence has been marked as perfect! I tried making |
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I shaped the cat face first and drew the eyes and some whiskers with chocolate on it and baked. I shaped the cat’s face first and drew the eyes and some whiskers with chocolate I shaped the cat face first I shaped the cat face first, and then drew on the eyes and I shaped the cat face first and then drew |
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There was an international exchange association in my town, and they organize a day trip once a year. There was an international exchange association in my town There There There |
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The people who are from foreign countries living in my town or nearby town can go on the trip.
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I go on the trip as a volunteer. This sentence has been marked as perfect! I I usually go on the trip as a volunteer. I assume this is habitually? If so then this is correct. If you’re talking about this trip in particular then you use the past tense. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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We went on the trip yesterday. We went on th This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A trip to a bread factory (39) This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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