Sept. 29, 2020
A road
The fall leaves you can’t see
I have gone through it, so do you
I want to ask for your foot mark
But the mountains and the rivers are all stay silent
I went through the spring
I went through the four seasons
I went through the spring
I went through myself
Quietly
I come here from the past
With wind and rain on my shoulder
And I want to know what I am looking for
I went though the spring
I went through the four seasons
I went through the spring
I went through myself
一条路
落叶无迹
走过我走过你
我想问你的足迹
山无言水无语
走过春天
走过四季
走过春天
走过我自己
悄悄地
我从过去
走到了这里
我双肩驮着风雨
想知道我的目的
走过春天
走过四季
走过春天
走过我自已
A road
I have gonetravelled through it, so dohave you
But the mountains and the rivers are all stay silent
You cannot have both "stay" and "are" together because they are both verbs. Pick whichever you prefer:)
I wenttravelled through the spring
I think the word "travelled" would link better to the title
I went throughravelled the four seasons
I wenttravelled through the spring
I wenttravelled through myself
The word "travelled" here helps paint a more certain image
Quietly
I come here from the past
And I want to know what I am looking for
I went travelled through the spring
I wenttravelled through the four seasons
I wenttravelled through the spring
I wenttravelled through myself
A rThe Road
When you use "a" instead of "the", it could be any road. If you are thinking of a specific road, then use "the".
AThe road
The fall leaves that you can’t see
I have gonewalked through it, so dohave you
What have you gone through? I'm not sure what you are trying to say. Because this is poetry, I'm a bit nervous as my correction might not be what you want to say.
I want to ask for your foot markprint
Again, it is odd to ask someone for their footprint. The footprint is already on the ground, and is not for anyone to give or to ask for. Not sure what you're trying to say.
But tThe mountains and the rivers are all stay silent
I don't know why you would start this stanza with "but", as "but" implies you are contrasting something previously mentioned.
I wentalked through the spring
I wentalked through the four seasons
I wentalked through the spring
Why are you mentioning spring again? So you mean to use a different season?
I went through myself
I don't know what you're trying to say. You cannot go through yourself, as that is metaphorically and physically impossible.
Quietly
I come here from the past
With wind and rain on my shoulder
And I want to know what I am looking for
I wentalked through the spring
I wentalked through the four seasons
I wentalked through the spring
I went through myself
Same question as before.
Feedback
I think it is dangerous to translate poetry unless you are excellent at both languages. Because I cannot read your Chinese explanation as well as I wish I could, I'm having trouble understanding the meaning and I apologize if the way I corrected your poem does not represent what you really meant to say. I'm just curious why the title has something to do with a road, but you never mentioned it again.
A road
A road
The fall leaves you can’t see
I have gone through it, so dohave you
I want to ask for your foot markprint
But the mountains and the rivers are all staymain silent
I went through the spring
I went through the four seasons
I went through the spring
I went through myself
Quietly
With wind and rain on my shoulder
And I want to know what I am looking for
I went though the spring
I went through the four seasons
I went through the spring
I went through myself
Feedback
Beautiful!
With poetic writing like this, it isn't always obvious what the intended meaning is, so I apologize if my correction seems off-base.
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I have gone through it, so do you I have gone through it, so I What have you gone through? I'm not sure what you are trying to say. Because this is poetry, I'm a bit nervous as my correction might not be what you want to say. I have |
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I want to ask for your foot mark I want to ask for your foot I want to ask for your foot Again, it is odd to ask someone for their footprint. The footprint is already on the ground, and is not for anyone to give or to ask for. Not sure what you're trying to say. |
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But the mountains and the rivers are all stay silent But the mountains and the rivers
I don't know why you would start this stanza with "but", as "but" implies you are contrasting something previously mentioned. But the mountains and the rivers are all You cannot have both "stay" and "are" together because they are both verbs. Pick whichever you prefer:) |
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I went through the spring This sentence has been marked as perfect! I w I I think the word "travelled" would link better to the title |
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I went through the four seasons This sentence has been marked as perfect! I w I went t |
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I went through the spring This sentence has been marked as perfect! I w Why are you mentioning spring again? So you mean to use a different season? I |
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I went through myself This sentence has been marked as perfect! I went through myself I don't know what you're trying to say. You cannot go through yourself, as that is metaphorically and physically impossible. I The word "travelled" here helps paint a more certain image |
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Quietly This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I come here from the past This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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With wind and rain on my shoulder This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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And I want to know what I am looking for This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I went though the spring This sentence has been marked as perfect! I w I |
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I went through the four seasons This sentence has been marked as perfect! I w I |
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I went through the spring This sentence has been marked as perfect! I w I |
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I went through myself This sentence has been marked as perfect! I went through myself Same question as before. I |
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A road This sentence has been marked as perfect!
When you use "a" instead of "the", it could be any road. If you are thinking of a specific road, then use "the". This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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A road |
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A road This sentence has been marked as perfect!
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The fall leaves you can’t see This sentence has been marked as perfect! The fall leaves that you can’t see |
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