Nov. 5, 2019
A peculiar story
A certain girl, always defying the gender stereotypes, is wearing a top hat and a very elegant suit while taking a walk through the neighborhood in the middle of the night. Suddenly some thieves appear out of nowhere and try to take her purse, but she pushes them away and throws away her coat, revealing a tight shirt and a pair of muscle-ridden arms. "So you wanna fight, huh?", she says, while a visible drop of sweat falls from the forehead of each of the thieves, who after hesitating for a while decide to just run away.
A certain girl, always defying the gender stereotypes, is wearing a top hat and a very elegant suit while taking a walk through the neighborhood in the middle of the night.
Generic concepts are not considered definite in English, unlike in the Romance languages ("los estereotipos de género" > gender stereotypes).
Suddenly some thieves appear out of nowhere and try to take her purse, but she pushes them away and throws awayoff her coat, revealing a tight shirt and a pair of muscle-ridden arms.
"Throw away" means to throw out, to throw into the rubbish, put rubbish in the rubbish bin.
Feedback
Nice story!
A peculiar story
A certain girl, always defying the gender stereotypes, is wearing a top hat and a very elegant suit while tawalking a walk through thea neighborhood during the middle of the night.
This is more of a style correction than anything else.
Suddenly, some thieves appear out of nowhere and trying to take her purse, but she pushes them away and throws away her coat, revealing a tight shirt and a pair of muscle-ridden arms.
Same as the previous correction.
"So you wanna fight, huh?
", she says, while a visible drop of sweat falls from ther forehead of each of then top of each thieves, who after hesitating for a while, decide to just to run away.
Nov. 12, 2019
", she says, while a visible drop of sweat falls from ther forehead of each of then top of each thieves, who after hesitating for a while, decide to just to run away.
Sorry, I thought I had deleted this correction. Don't pay attention to it, it's not entirely correct.
A peculiar story
Suddenly some thieves appear out of nowhere and try to take her purse, but she pushes them away and throws awayosses aside her coat, revealing a tight shirt and a pair of muscle-riddenbound arms.
"Throws away" sounds a little like she's throwing it in the trash.
"-ridden" is usually used for bad things, like "disease-ridden". "Muscle-bound" is more neutral, or you could use other slang like "shredded."
"So you wanna fight, huh?"¶
¶
You don't need a comma after the quotes, since you already have the question mark.
", she says, while a visible drop of sweat falls from the forehead of each of the thieveeach of the theives' foreheads, who after hesitating for a while decide to just run away.
Feedback
This sentence is getting pretty long, so using fewer prepositional phrases makes it easier to follow.
Nov. 5, 2019
Your English is very good! I don't see any real grammar mistakes, just a few spots where the word choice could sound more natural.
Nov. 6, 2019
Thanks for the correction(s)! Yeah, I should definitely improve my word choice. In fact, I realized that I have been writing on my own for too long without getting any feedback, so it's only natural that I ended up using some strange words.
Nov. 6, 2019
Suddenly some thieves appear out of nowhere and try to take her purse, but she pushes them away and throws awayosses aside her coat, revealing a tight shirt and a pair of muscle-riddenbound arms.
Do you guys think this sentence would be better left in past tense? I also agree in splitting this sentence up.
Nov. 8, 2019
I think it's fine all in present tense :)
|
A peculiar story This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
A certain girl, always defying the gender stereotypes, is wearing a top hat and a very elegant suit while taking a walk through the neighborhood in the middle of the night. A certain girl, always defying the gender stereotypes, is wearing a top hat and a very elegant suit while This is more of a style correction than anything else. A certain girl, always defying Generic concepts are not considered definite in English, unlike in the Romance languages ("los estereotipos de género" > gender stereotypes). |
|
Suddenly some thieves appear out of nowhere and try to take her purse, but she pushes them away and throws away her coat, revealing a tight shirt and a pair of muscle-ridden arms. Suddenly some thieves appear out of nowhere and try to take her purse, but she pushes them away and t "Throws away" sounds a little like she's throwing it in the trash. "-ridden" is usually used for bad things, like "disease-ridden". "Muscle-bound" is more neutral, or you could use other slang like "shredded."
Same as the previous correction. Suddenly some thieves appear out of nowhere and try to take her purse, but she pushes them away and throws "Throw away" means to throw out, to throw into the rubbish, put rubbish in the rubbish bin. |
|
"So you wanna fight, huh? "So you wanna fight, huh?"¶ This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
", she says, while a visible drop of sweat falls from the forehead of each of the thieves, who after hesitating for a while decide to just run away. ", she says, while a visible drop of sweat falls from ", she says, while a visible drop of sweat falls from |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium