I’m not sure thatif you think it is too long or not, but I think it's long.

However, if I use this time wisely, there are biga lot of benefits.

it is not usual to describe benefit as big even though it is understandable.

I have a test the day after tommorrow, and because the snow is likely to disrupt train services on that day, I am thinking about staying at a hotel near my university at tommorrow night.

I’m not sure thatif you think it ithat's too long or not, but I think it's long.

By deciding to study English vocabulary during my commute, I can secure a fixed amount of study time every day.

However, sometimes bad weather makes long commutinges difficult.

I have a test the day after tommorrow, and because snow is likely to disrupt train services on that day, I am thinking about staying at a hotel near my university at tommorrow night.

I have a test the day after tommorrow, and because snow is likely to disrupt train services on that day, I am thinking about staying at a hotel near my university at tommorrow night.

I have a test the day after tommorow, and because snow is likely to disrupt train services on that day, I am thinking about staying at a hotel near my university at tommorow night.

A Long Commute to School

I commute to school for about two2 hours one way.each way for school

I’m not sure thatif you think it is too long or not, but I think it's too long.

No need to make a complex statement more complex

However, ifwhen I use this time wisely, there are big benefits.

By deciding to studying English vocabulary during my commute, I can secure a fixed study time every day.

However, sometimes bad weather makes long commutinges difficult.

I have a test the day after tommorrow, and because snow is likely to disrupt train services on that day, I am thinking about staying at a hotel near my university at tommorrow night.

I’m not sure thatif you think it is too long or not, but I think it's long is.

In the first sentence you establish that you are talking about "the commute". After the "," you can say "but I think it is" where "is" is referring to the "too long" in the first part of your sentence.

However, sometimes bad weather makes the long commutinge difficult.

I have a test the day after tommorrow, andbut because snow isthe train services will likely tobe disrupt train services on that dayed, I am thinking about staying at a hotel near my university at tommorrow night.

"and because" is unnatural in English. "And" is for continuation, but "because" is for contrasting or giving a reason for something.

In English, weather is treated more as background context. Train services are the object we are discussing. So it is more natural to say "the services are interrupted by the weather", instead of "the weather is interrupting".