July 15, 2024
A Little Mayor
When I was an elementary student, our school held an election for a "little mayor." Essentially, each class in sixth grade nominated its own candidate, and every student in the school could vote for our "little mayor." This was a smaller-scale version of the student union election, but the "little mayor" had no real power over anything. This election was held to teach students about the electoral process. Lower-grade students could learn how to vote, and sixth-graders needed to develop policy proposals and assist their candidate in the campaign. In the end, only two candidates gained the favor of the voters because of their policies: one promised that we would have chocolate milk with every lunch, and another guaranteed that off-campus teaching would increase from once to twice per term. I don't remember who won the election, but I'm sure we didn't have chocolate milk at lunch, nor did we have off-campus teaching twice a term. It sounds like a cute and funny story, but compared to the real political world we live in now, maybe it's not that hilarious.
I don't remember who won the election, but I'm sure we didn'tnever ended up haveing chocolate milk at lunch, nor did we get to have off-campus teaching twice a term.
While the point is clear either way, using something such as 'never ended up having' more strongly implies that this is focused on the end result of the election, and similarly with 'get to have' instead of 'have'.
It sounds like a cute and funny story, but compared to the realour current political world we live in now, maybe it's not that hilarious.
'our current' is more natural than 'real' + 'now'.
Feedback
This is very good! just some minor nitpicks here and there. Perhaps more connectors between sentences would be beneficial, but it may be a matter of style.
July 16, 2024
Thank you so much, very helpful :))
A Llittle Mayor
When I was an elementary school student, our school held an election for a "little mMayor."
Essentially, each class in the sixth grade nominated its own candidate, and every student in the school could vote for our "little mMayor."
This was a smaller-scale version of the student union election, but the "little mMayor" had no real power over anything.
Lower-grade students could learn how to vote, and sixth-graders needed to develop policy proposals and assist their candidate in the campaign.
In the end, only two candidates gained the favor of the voters because of their policies: one promised that we would have chocolate milk with every lunch, and anthe other guaranteed that off-campus teaching would increase from once to twice per term.
July 16, 2024
Thank you so much :))
A Little Mayor
When I was an elementary student, our school held an election for a "little mayor."
Essentially, each class in sixth grade nominated its own candidate, and every student in the school could vote for our "little mayor."
This was a smaller-scale version of the student union election, but the "little mayor" had no real power over anything.
This election was held to teach students about the electoral process.
Lower-grade students could learn how to vote, and sixth-graders needed to develop policy proposals and assist their candidate in the campaign.
In the end, only two candidates gained the favor of the voters because of their policies: one promised that we would have chocolate milk with every lunch, and another guaranteed that off-campus teaching would increase from once to twice per term.
I don't remember who won the election, but I'm sure we didn't have chocolate milk at lunch, nor did we have off-campus teaching twice aper term.
It sounds like a cute and funny story, but compared to the real political worldworld of politics we live in now, maybe it's not thatso hilarious.
Feedback
Excellent!
July 16, 2024
Thank you so much, very helpful :))
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A Little Mayor This sentence has been marked as perfect! A |
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When I was an elementary student, our school held an election for a "little mayor." This sentence has been marked as perfect! When I was an elementary school student, our school held an election for a "little |
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Essentially, each class in sixth grade nominated its own candidate, and every student in the school could vote for our "school mayor." |
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This was a smaller-scale version of the student union election, but the "little mayor" had no real power over anything. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This was a smaller-scale version of the student union election, but the "little |
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This election was held to teach students about the electoral process. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Lower-grade students could learn how to vote, and sixth-graders needed to develop policy proposals and assist their candidate in the campaign. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In the end, only two candidates gained the favor of the voters because of their policies: one promised that we would have chocolate milk with every lunch, and another guaranteed that off-campus teaching would increase from once to twice per term. This sentence has been marked as perfect! In the end, only two candidates gained the favor of the voters because of their policies: one promised that we would have chocolate milk with every lunch, and |
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I don't remember who won the election, but I'm sure we didn't have chocolate milk at lunch, nor did we have off-campus teaching twice a term. I don't remember who won the election, but I'm sure we didn't have chocolate milk at lunch, nor did we have off-campus teaching twice I don't remember who won the election, but I'm sure we While the point is clear either way, using something such as 'never ended up having' more strongly implies that this is focused on the end result of the election, and similarly with 'get to have' instead of 'have'. |
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It sounds like a cute and funny story, but compared to the real political world we live in now, maybe it's not that hilarious. It sounds like a cute and funny story, but compared to the real It sounds like a cute and funny story, but compared to 'our current' is more natural than 'real' + 'now'. |
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Essentially, each class in sixth grade nominated its own candidate, and every student in the school could vote for our "little mayor." This sentence has been marked as perfect! Essentially, each class in the sixth grade nominated its own candidate |
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