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Mermaid

Feb. 13, 2021

0
A Horse Riding Club

A couple of days ago, a friend and I went to a horse riding club. She picked me up at 4: 30 P.M. and we got there half an hour later. At our arrival, we were welcomed by one of the co-owners of the club. He was the one who first taught my friend how to ride a horse. Later, she developed such great skills that she herself became a trainer.

The club located at a small village was an interesting place. Not only did it have gorgeous horses, but it also housed some birds, cats, and dogs. To me, it seemed more like a small farm.

The horses were elegant, strong, and people friendly. My friend showed me a horse and told me that he was the country's champion. When we got near him, he turned away and hid himself in a dark corner. We were clueless as why he was so shy and quiet. I tried to cheer him up by playing a happy song for him, but he was apparently down in the dumps that day. Unlike him, the horse in the next stall was quite naughty and energetic. He got thrilled when we started talking to him. He's my friend's favorite horse as they've been friends for a long time. He also kept pulling her clothes with his teeth, which every time she had to hold his jaws firmly to set herself free.


The birds were fancy pigeons which were flying over our heads most of the time. A kind, lovely and innoncent-looking Doberman was wandering about while trying to avoid fights with a playful Maltese. The little Maltese melted our hearts by his cute gestures though. He became so jealous when someone petted the Doberman and would come running to divert attention away from his rival. The cats were sweet and amicable as well. They were climbing up and down the haystack and fully enjoying themselves.

We really had fun looking at and playing with the animals there. It was a great mood-changing experience for me.

Corrections

She picked me up at 4: 30 P.M. and we got there half an hour later.

The club, located atin a small village, was an interesting place.

The horses were elegant, strong, and people -friendly.

We were clueless as to why he was so shy and quiet.

He also kept pulling her clothes with his teeth, whichand every time she had to hold his jaws firmly to set herself free.

"which" makes it sound like the 2nd part of the sentence is going to be about the horse's teeth, but what you've written is fine by itself, so I think it's better to just write "and"

Feedback

Great job! Only a few small corrections :)

Mermaid's avatar
Mermaid

Feb. 14, 2021

0

Thank you very much for the corrections. :)

A Horse Riding Club


A couple of days ago, a friend and I went to a horse riding club.


She picked me up at 4: 30 P.M. and we got there half an hour later.


She picked me up at 4: 30 P.M. and we got there half an hour later.

At our arrival, we were welcomed by one of the co-owners of the club.


He was the one who first taught my friend how to ride a horse.


Later, she developed such great skills that she herself became a trainer.


The club located at a small village was an interesting place.


The club, located atin a small village, was an interesting place.

Not only did it have gorgeous horses, but it also housed some birds, cats, and dogs.


To me, it seemed more like a small farm.


The horses were elegant, strong, and people friendly.


The horses were elegant, strong, and people -friendly.

My friend showed me a horse and told me that he was the country's champion.


When we got near him, he turned away and hid himself in a dark corner.


We were clueless as why he was so shy and quiet.


We were clueless as to why he was so shy and quiet.

I tried to cheer him up by playing a happy song for him, but he was apparently down in the dumps that day.


Unlike him, the horse in the next stall was quite naughty and energetic.


He got thrilled when we started talking to him.


He's my friend's favorite horse as they've been friends for a long time.


He also kept pulling her clothes with his teeth, which every time she had to hold his jaws firmly to set herself free.


He also kept pulling her clothes with his teeth, whichand every time she had to hold his jaws firmly to set herself free.

"which" makes it sound like the 2nd part of the sentence is going to be about the horse's teeth, but what you've written is fine by itself, so I think it's better to just write "and"

The birds were fancy pigeons which were flying over our heads most of the time.


A kind, lovely and innoncent-looking Doberman was wandering about while trying to avoid fights with a playful Maltese.


The little Maltese melted our hearts by his cute gestures though.


He became so jealous when someone petted the Doberman and would come running to divert attention away from his rival.


The cats were sweet and amicable as well.


They were climbing up and down the haystack and fully enjoying themselves.


We really had fun looking at and playing with the animals there.


It was a great mood-changing experience for me.


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