Sept. 30, 2023
a horror story
The Forest
"I can't find him anywhere," my daughter mumbled, looking for Billy, her cat. "Maybe he got lost in the forest.
"Perhaps he's just playing around," I said, "but I'm worried about Billy. He's never been gone this long before." She chimed in.
"Fine, let's go find him," I said.
As we entered the forest, searching for my daughter's pet the beam of my flashlight sputtered and died, leaving me in sudden darkness. I felt a chill run down my spine as the silence pressed in.
"Billy?" I called out, my voice trembling.
No answer.
I took a tentative step forward, my heart pounding. I reached out my hand, feeling my way through the darkness, hoping to find Billy and leave this place.
I knew we had to go back.
I turned to walk towards the house, but my daughter grabbed my arm.
"Dad, where are you going?" she asked.
"We have to get out of here," I said.
"But Billy is still out there," she said, her voice trembling. "He might be scared."
I took a deep breath. "I'm not going back," I said. "It's too dangerous."
My daughter looked at me with pleading eyes. "But Dad," she said. "Billy is alone."
I put my arm around her shoulders. "I know," I said. "But there's nothing I can do for him now. We have to get to safety."
My daughter nodded sadly, tears dropping from her eyes. "Okay," she said.
We started walking back to the house, but as we did, we heard screams echoing through the trees. My heart raced as I tried to escape the noises. They were getting closer. I scooped up my daughter in my arms and ran as fast as I could.
After what felt like an eternity, the screams stopped and we were back at the house. I burst through the door and slammed it shut behind me. I held my daughter close, my chest heaving.
"I'm so sorry," I said regretfully.
a horror story for a school project
The Forest
¶
"I can't find him anywhere," my daughter mumbled, looking for Billy, her cat.,
When writing speech a comma is used instead of a full stop if the same person is speaking.
"Maybe he got lost in the forest."
"Perhaps he's just playing around," I said, "b. ¶
"But I'm worried about Billy.
A full stop is used when a person finishes speaking. Starting a new line when the speaker changes makes it easier to read.
He's never been gone this long before."
Sshe chimed in.
"Fine, let's go find him," I said.
As we entered the forest, searching for my daughter's pet the beam of my flashlight sputtered and died, leaving meus in sudden darkness.
I assume the daughter is with the narrator? "us" makes more sense if so.
I felt a chill run down my spine as the silence pressed in.
"Billy?"
I called out, my voice trembling.
No answer.
I took a tentative step forward, my heart pounding.
I reached out my hand, feeling my way through the darkness, hoping to find Billy and leave this place.
I knew we had to go back.
I turned to walk towards the house, but my daughter grabbed my arm.
"Dad, where are you going?"
she asked.
"We have to get out of here," I said.
"But Billy is still out there," she said, her voice trembling.,
"He might be scared."
I took a deep breath.
"I'm not going back," I said.,
"It's too dangerous."
My daughter looked at me with pleading eyes.
"But Dad," she said.,
"Billy is alone."
I put my arm around her shoulders.
"I know," I said.,
"But there's nothing I can do for him now.
We have to get to safety."
My daughter nodded sadly, tears droppfalling from her eyes.
Dropping doesn't sound natural to me, but it's not wrong as such?
"Okay," she said.
We started walking back to the house, but as we did, we heard screams echoing through the trees.
My heart raced as I tried to escape the noises.
They were getting closer.
I scooped up my daughter in my arms and ran as fast as I could.
After what felt like an eternity, the screams stopped and we were back at the house.
I burst through the door and slammed it shut behind me.
I held my daughter close, my chest heaving.
"I'm so sorry," I said regretfully.
Feedback
A well written story!
"Maybe he got lost in the forest.”
"Perhaps he's just playing around," I said,.¶
"bBut I'm worried about Billy.
Dialogue by the other person should start in a new line.
He's never been gone this long before."
As we entered the forest, searching for my daughter's pet, the beam of my flashlight sputtered and died, leaving me in sudden darkness.
I felt a chill run down my spine as the silence pressed in.
"Billy?"
I called out, my voice trembling.
No answer.
I took a tentative step forward, my heart pounding.
I reached out my hand, feeling my way through the darkness, hoping to find Billy and leave this place.
I knew we had to go back.
I turned to walk towards the house, but my daughter grabbed my arm.
"Dad, where are you going?"
she asked.
"But Billy is still out there," she said, her voice trembling.
"He might be scared."
I took a deep breath.
"I'm not going back," I said.
"It's too dangerous."
"But Dad," she said.
"Billy is alone."
I put my arm around her shoulders.
"I know," I said.
"But there's nothing I can do for him now.
We have to get to safety."
My daughter nodded sadly, tears dropping from her eyes.
"Okay," she said.
We started walking back to the house, but as we did, we heard screams echoing through the trees.
My heart raced as I tried to escape the noises.
They were getting closer.
I scooped up my daughter in my arms and ran as fast as I could.
After what felt like an eternity, the screams stopped and we were back at the house.
I burst through the door and slammed it shut behind me.
I held my daughter close, my chest heaving.
"I'm so sorry," I said regretfully.
Feedback
This is very well written!
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"Okay," she said. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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a horror story for a school project This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The Forest "I can't find him anywhere," my daughter mumbled, looking for Billy, her cat. The Forest When writing speech a comma is used instead of a full stop if the same person is speaking. |
|
"Maybe he got lost in the forest. "Maybe he got lost in the forest.” "Maybe he got lost in the forest." |
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"Perhaps he's just playing around," I said, "but I'm worried about Billy. "Perhaps he's just playing around," I said Dialogue by the other person should start in a new line. "Perhaps he's just playing around," I said A full stop is used when a person finishes speaking. Starting a new line when the speaker changes makes it easier to read. |
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He's never been gone this long before." This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She chimed in.
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"Fine, let's go find him," I said. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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As we entered the forest, searching for my daughter's pet the beam of my flashlight sputtered and died, leaving me in sudden darkness. As we entered the forest, searching for my daughter's pet, the beam of my flashlight sputtered and died, leaving me in sudden darkness. As we entered the forest, searching for my daughter's pet the beam of my flashlight sputtered and died, leaving I assume the daughter is with the narrator? "us" makes more sense if so. |
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I felt a chill run down my spine as the silence pressed in. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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"Billy?" This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I called out, my voice trembling. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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No answer. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I took a tentative step forward, my heart pounding. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I reached out my hand, feeling my way through the darkness, hoping to find Billy and leave this place. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I knew we had to go back. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I turned to walk towards the house, but my daughter grabbed my arm. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
"Dad, where are you going?" This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
she asked. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
"We have to get out of here," I said. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
"But Billy is still out there," she said, her voice trembling. This sentence has been marked as perfect! "But Billy is still out there," she said, her voice trembling |
|
"He might be scared." This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I took a deep breath. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
"I'm not going back," I said. This sentence has been marked as perfect! "I'm not going back," I said |
|
"It's too dangerous." This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
My daughter looked at me with pleading eyes. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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"But Dad," she said. This sentence has been marked as perfect! "But Dad," she said |
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"Billy is alone." This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I put my arm around her shoulders. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
"I know," I said. This sentence has been marked as perfect! "I know," I said |
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"But there's nothing I can do for him now. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
We have to get to safety." This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
My daughter nodded sadly, tears dropping from her eyes. This sentence has been marked as perfect! My daughter nodded sadly, tears Dropping doesn't sound natural to me, but it's not wrong as such? |
|
We started walking back to the house, but as we did, we heard screams echoing through the trees. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
My heart raced as I tried to escape the noises. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
They were getting closer. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I scooped up my daughter in my arms and ran as fast as I could. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
After what felt like an eternity, the screams stopped and we were back at the house. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I burst through the door and slammed it shut behind me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
I held my daughter close, my chest heaving. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
"I'm so sorry," I said regretfully. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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a horror story |
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