March 22, 2023
A Father and Son's Journey to the Top
Jack and his dad took their backpacks and started walking towards the mountain. It was a hot day, so they wore both lightweight and comfortable clothes. They also had packed lots of drinks, as it was going to be a long journey to the top of the mountain. They expected to get to the top before it got dark. Thus, they could have enough time to set the tents up.
On the way, they encountered all kinds of wild animals, such as goats, wild boars and snakes. Jack took the opportunity to take photos of them as he had been keen on animals since he was kid. He was having fun! However, his dad thought that they were spending so much time on it and that they wouldn't get to on time. Unfortunately, he was right, so they had to spend the night in the middle of the hillside of the mountain. At least, they set up the tent easily and ate some tasty sandwich which his mother had made that morning. Since the sky was clear, they were able to see the stars through the telescope that his dad had brought. Jack was astonished because it was his first time seeing the moon so close.
They next day, they continued walking to the top without stopping. Finally, they ended up reaching the top after two and a half hours of walking. The views were fantastic, they were able to see for miles away. All the effort had been worth it.
A Father and Son's Journey to the Top
Jack and his dad took their backpacks and started walking towards the mountain.
It was a hot day, so they wore bothboth wore lightweight and comfortable clothes.
They also had packed lots of drinks, as it was going to be a long journey to the top of the mountain.
They expected to get to the top before it got dark.
Thus, they cwould hleave enough time to set up the tents up.
On the way, they encountered all kinds of wild animals, such as goats, wild boars and snakes.
Jack took the opportunity to take photos of them as he had been keen on animals since he was kidyoung.
or,
Jack took the opportunity to take photos of them as he had been keen on animals since he was a kid.
He was having fun!
However, his dadis dad, however, thought that they were spending stoo much time on it and that they wouldn't get to the top on time.
Unfortunately, he was right, so they had to spend the night in the middle of the hillside of the mountain.
At least, they were able to set up the tent easily and could eate some tasty sandwiches which his mother had made that morning.
Since the sky was clear, they were able to see the stars through the telescope that his dad had brought.
Jack was astonished because it was his first time seeing the moon so close.
They next day, they continued walking to the top without stopping.
Finally, they ended up reaching the top after two and a half hours of walking.
The views were fantastic, because they were able to see for miles away.
All the effort had been worth it.
Feedback
You write very well.
March 23, 2023
Thanks for fixing my mistakes! :)
A Father and Son's Journey to the Top
Jack and his dad took their backpacks and started walking towards the mountain.
It was a hot day, so they woere wearing both lightweight and comfortable clothes.
Both could be correct, but using present tense flows more smoothly
They also had packed lots of drinks, as it was going to be a long journey to the top of the mountain.
They expected to get to the top before it got dark.
Thus, they could have enough time to set the tents up.
On the way, they encountered all kinds of wild animals, such as goats, wild boars and snakes.
Jack took the opportunity to take photos of them as he had been keen on animals since he was kid.
He was having fun!
However, his dad thought that they were spending stoo much time on it and that they wouldn't get to the top of the mountain on time.
"too" is used more when saying that there is an excessive amount of something, while "so" is used as more of an emphasis or for cause and effect.
Unfortunately, he was right, so they had to spend the night in the middle of the hillside of the mountain.
At least, they set up the tent easily, and they ate some tasty sandwiches which hiJack's mother had made that morning.
using "his" without a clear subject makes it confusing as to who you are talking about. If they (plural) are eating, then what they are eating (sandwich) must also be plural (sandwiches)
Since the sky was clear, they were able to see the stars through the telescope that his dad had brought.
Jack was astonished because it was his first time seeing the moon so close.
They next day, they continued walking to the top without stopping.
Finally, they ended up reaching the top after two and a half hours of walking.
The views were fantastic, and they were able to see for miles away.
Both versions are equally correct, but when using "and" instead of a comma the sentence flows better because there is no pause.
All the effort had been worth it.
Feedback
Mostly very good, there are only a few spots that need a little work. Great job!
March 23, 2023
Thanks for your helpful corrections!
|
He was having fun! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
However, his dad thought that they were spending so much time on it and that they wouldn't get to on time. However, his dad thought that they were spending "too" is used more when saying that there is an excessive amount of something, while "so" is used as more of an emphasis or for cause and effect. H |
|
A Father and Son's Journey to the Top This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Jack and his dad took their backpacks and started walking towards the mountain. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
It was a hot day, so they wore both lightweight and comfortable clothes. It was a hot day, so they w Both could be correct, but using present tense flows more smoothly It was a hot day, so they |
|
They also had packed lots of drinks, as it was going to be a long journey to the top of the mountain. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
They expected to get to the top before it got dark. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Thus, they could have enough time to set the tents up. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Thus, they |
|
On the way, they encountered all kinds of wild animals, such as goats, wild boars and snakes. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Jack took the opportunity to take photos of them as he had been keen on animals since he was kid. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Jack took the opportunity to take photos of them as he had been keen on animals since he was or, Jack took the opportunity to take photos of them as he had been keen on animals since he was a kid. |
|
Unfortunately, he was right, so they had to spend the night in the middle of the hillside of the mountain. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
At least, they set up the tent easily and ate some tasty sandwich which his mother had made that morning. At least using "his" without a clear subject makes it confusing as to who you are talking about. If they (plural) are eating, then what they are eating (sandwich) must also be plural (sandwiches) At least |
|
Since the sky was clear, they were able to see the stars through the telescope that his dad had brought. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Jack was astonished because it was his first time seeing the moon so close. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
They next day, they continued walking to the top without stopping. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Finally, they ended up reaching the top after two and a half hours of walking. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
The views were fantastic, they were able to see for miles away. The views were fantastic Both versions are equally correct, but when using "and" instead of a comma the sentence flows better because there is no pause. The views were fantastic |
|
All the effort had been worth it. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium