zaozao's avatar
zaozao

Nov. 17, 2022

0
A family gathering (see picture)

A family gathering

With an age of high technology, increasing people are using mobile phones more than ever. Especially since the breakout of Covid-19, people are stuck at home, either working from home or live-streaming lectures, which led to the lack of the face-to-face communication between people.

The picture right illustrates this kind of situation among people nowadays. Everyone is scrolling through their smartphones while their parents are serving the dishes and just looking at them, with disappointment.

Denying the importance of mobile phone can be certainly a wrong way to tackle with this kind of problem. However, it’s crucial for human beings to maintain interaction with others in real life, rather than just focus on chatting with your friends through the smartphones. So it’s time to go out and to talk with “realistic” person not a virtual one.

Corrections

A family gathering (see picture)

A family gathering

With anIn the age of high technology, increasing people are using mobile phones now more than ever.

Especially since the breakout of Covid-19, people are stuck at home, either working from home or live-streaming lectures, which. This led to thea lack of the face-to-face communication between people.

The sentence is mostly good, just a little long.

The picture to the right illustrates thise kind of situation among people nowadays.

Everyone is scrolling through their smartphones, while their parents are serving the dishes and just looking at them, with disappointment.

We generally use the word "dishes" to describe things like plates and bowls when they need to be washed. If you meant their parents are serving a meal, I would say something like "serving dinner".

Denying the importance of mobile phone can bes is certainly athe wrong way to tackle with this kind of problem.

"Certainly" is very confident, but "can be" is more unsure. I would either say "can be the wrong way" or "is certainly the wrong way".

However, it’s crucial for human beings to maintain interaction with others in real life, rather than just focus on chatting with youtheir friends through their smartphones.

So it’s time to go out and to talk with a realistic” person, not a virtual one.

Feedback

Well done!

A family gathering (see picture)

A family gathering

With anIn the age of highadvanced technology, an increasing number of people are using mobile phones now more than ever.

Especially since the breakout of Covid-19, people are stuck at home, either working (from home) or live-streaming lectures, which led to the lack of the face-to-face communication between people.

You don't necessarily need "working at home" as you have already said "people are stuck at home"

The picture rightbelow illustrates this kind of situation among people nowadays.

Everyone is scrolling through their smartphones while their parents are serving the dishes and just looking at them, with disappointment.

Denying the importance of mobile phone can be certainly be a wrong way to tackle with this kind of problem.

However, it’s crucial for human beings to maintain interaction with eachothers in real life, rather than just focus on chatting with your friends through the smartphones.

So it’s time to go out and to talk with “realistic” person not a virtual one.

Feedback

Great writing! It sends a very strong message :)

zaozao's avatar
zaozao

Nov. 18, 2022

0

Thank you very much!

A family gathering (see picture)


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A family gathering


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

With an age of high technology, increasing people are using mobile phones more than ever.


With anIn the age of highadvanced technology, an increasing number of people are using mobile phones now more than ever.

With anIn the age of high technology, increasing people are using mobile phones now more than ever.

Especially since the breakout of Covid-19, people are stuck at home, either working from home or live-streaming lectures, which led to the lack of the face-to-face communication between people.


Especially since the breakout of Covid-19, people are stuck at home, either working (from home) or live-streaming lectures, which led to the lack of the face-to-face communication between people.

You don't necessarily need "working at home" as you have already said "people are stuck at home"

Especially since the breakout of Covid-19, people are stuck at home, either working from home or live-streaming lectures, which. This led to thea lack of the face-to-face communication between people.

The sentence is mostly good, just a little long.

The picture right illustrates this kind of situation among people nowadays.


The picture rightbelow illustrates this kind of situation among people nowadays.

The picture to the right illustrates thise kind of situation among people nowadays.

Everyone is scrolling through their smartphones while their parents are serving the dishes and just looking at them, with disappointment.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

Everyone is scrolling through their smartphones, while their parents are serving the dishes and just looking at them, with disappointment.

We generally use the word "dishes" to describe things like plates and bowls when they need to be washed. If you meant their parents are serving a meal, I would say something like "serving dinner".

Denying the importance of mobile phone can be certainly a wrong way to tackle with this kind of problem.


Denying the importance of mobile phone can be certainly be a wrong way to tackle with this kind of problem.

Denying the importance of mobile phone can bes is certainly athe wrong way to tackle with this kind of problem.

"Certainly" is very confident, but "can be" is more unsure. I would either say "can be the wrong way" or "is certainly the wrong way".

However, it’s crucial for human beings to maintain interaction with others in real life, rather than just focus on chatting with your friends through the smartphones.


However, it’s crucial for human beings to maintain interaction with eachothers in real life, rather than just focus on chatting with your friends through the smartphones.

However, it’s crucial for human beings to maintain interaction with others in real life, rather than just focus on chatting with youtheir friends through their smartphones.

So it’s time to go out and to talk with “realistic” person not a virtual one.


So it’s time to go out and to talk with “realistic” person not a virtual one.

So it’s time to go out and to talk with a realistic” person, not a virtual one.

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