Aug. 19, 2022
A Cry of Desperation
Yesterday, I received a text message from one of my Russian contacts. It had been a long time since I had last heard from her. After the text message, she sent me a voice message. In the voice message, she told me she needed to speak to me. That caught me by surprise as we had never spoken before. Of course, I agreed and this is what happened.
She sat in a park bench. There was nobody around her. However, she was constantly looking around as if there was someone watching her. She seemed very anxious and frightened. Although her sunglasses prevented me from seeing her eyes, I could sense something really serious was happening to her. When she took of her sunglasses, I could see she was crying. She began to tell me how wrong things were in Russia and particularly in Moscow where she lives. She had been planning to travel to Italy where she would be meeting with a friend. However, because the EU is now mulling over stopping to issue tourist visas to Russians, she can’t carry out her so much desired plan. She kept telling me that Russia had become a cage where she and people who thought like her lived like enclosed animals.
As heartbreaking as that can sound, even more so was when she asked me why did we (Westerners) hate them (Russians) so much? How can you answer a question like that? To be honest, I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say. Of course, I don’t hate Russians. How am I going to do such a thing? They’re human beings as everyone else. They aren’t responsible for the invasion carried out by Putin in Ukraine. Russians feel abandoned by the West because they are the bad guys and Ukrainians are the good guys. Not only are they living like caged animals, but they are also blamed for the war their government is carrying out in Ukraine. I told her about what had happened in my country almost filthy years ago. How after four decades of dictatorship, Spain had peacefully become a democratic country. She told me the only way out she saw for her country was for Putin to die. However, both of us agree that when Putin dies, another president like him, or even worse, will succeed him.
To my mind, Russians are the only ones who can solve this terrible situation. However, not all of them are of the same opinion. In fact, only those Russians living in big cities, like Moscow or Saint Petersburg, would like to live in a more westernised country. That amounts to just a small percentage of the Russian population. What the remaining Russians want is just food on their plates and a roof over their heads.
A Cry of Desperation
Yesterday, I received a text message from one of my Russian contacts.
It had been a long time since I had last heard from her.
After the text message, she sent me a voice message.
In the voice message, she told me she needed to speak towith me.
‘With’ is more formal, and your tone comes across as very formal, so I would use this to stay stylistically consistent! ‘To’ is good when you are talking informally :)
That caught me by surprise as we had never spoken before.
Of course, I agreed and this is what happened.
She sat inat a park bench.
‘In’ when referring to objects/places means you are physically inside of it.
Correct ways:
“She is in the room.”
“She is in the hospital.”
‘At’ means you are where the object is, and implies in, but you’re not inside of it:
“She sat at the table.”
“She was at the telephone booth.”
There was nobody around her.
However, she was constantly looking around as if there was someone watching her.
She seemed very anxious and frightened.
Although her sunglasses prevented me from seeing her eyes, I could sense something really serious washad happeninged to her.
Pass tense, something serious isn’t happening in the moment that you’re with her (physically happening).
When she took off her sunglasses, I could see that she was crying.
She began to tell me how wrong things were in Russia and particularly in Moscow where she lives.
She had been planning to travel to Italy where she would be meeting with a friend.
However, because the EU is now mulling over stopping to issue tourist visas to Russians, she can’t carry out her so much desired plan.
She kept telling me that Russia had become a cage where she and people who thought like her lived like enclosed animals.
As heartbreaking as that can sound, even more so was when she asked me why did we (Westerners) hate them (Russians) so much?
How can you answer a question like that?
To be honest, I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say.
Of course, I don’t hate Russians.
How am I going to could I think/do such a thing?
They’re human beings aslike everyone else.
They aren’t responsible for the invasion carried out by Putin in Ukraine.
Russians feel abandoned by the West because they are the bad guys and Ukrainians are the good guys.
Not only are they living like caged animals, but they are also blamed for the war their government is carrying out in Ukraine.
I told her about what had happened in my country almost filthfty years ago.
How after four decades of dictatorship, Spain had peacefully become a democratic country.
She told me the only way out she saw for her country was for Putin to die.
However, both of us agree that when Putin dies, another president like him, or even worse, will succeed him.
To my mind, Russians are the only ones who can solve this terrible situation.
However, not all of them are of the same opinion.
In fact, only those Russians living in big cities, like Moscow or Saint Petersburg, would like to live in a more westernised country.
That amounts to just a small percentage of the Russian population.
What the remaining Russians want is just food on their plates and a roof over their heads.
Feedback
Very tragic times, may she find a way there soon and Russia peace
As always, message me if you need more detailed explanations/have questions 😁
Aug. 21, 2022
She sat inat a park bench.
I’m a humble learner of English but I think that, and excuse me for what I’m going to say, “She sat at a park bench” isn’t correct. I think what can be confusing in my sentence is “park bench.” As you well say, “to be sit at park” is completely right. “She sat at a park”, where? We don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t matter. She could sit in a bench, on the ground or who knows. In my case, she sat in a bench at the park. Is that correct? Thank beforehand.
Aug. 21, 2022
Thank Frannie for taking the time to read and correct my long post. I really appreciate it.
Aug. 21, 2022
I’m a humble learner of English but I think that, and excuse me for what I’m going to say, “She sat at a park bench” isn’t correct. I think what can be confusing in my sentence is “park bench.” As you well say, “to be sit at park” is completely right. “She sat at a park”, where? We don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t matter. She could sit in a bench, on the ground or who knows. In my case, she sat in a bench at the park. Is that correct? Thank beforehand.
“She sat at the park bench.” Would be correct
Aug. 21, 2022
I’m a humble learner of English but I think that, and excuse me for what I’m going to say, “She sat at a park bench” isn’t correct. I think what can be confusing in my sentence is “park bench.” As you well say, “to be sit at park” is completely right. “She sat at a park”, where? We don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t matter. She could sit in a bench, on the ground or who knows. In my case, she sat in a bench at the park. Is that correct? Thank beforehand.
However, my original correction: “she sat at a park bench” is also correct stylistically and I will explain why:
It implies a sort of ambiguity / distance from the subject, as if the park bench does not matter and it is one of many. An author might describe it in this way to imply a character’s or person’s distance from a setting (metaphorically). So yes it is correct as well, it is just a figurative use of English (very advanced).
Aug. 21, 2022
However, my original correction: “she sat at a park bench” is also correct stylistically and I will explain why: It implies a sort of ambiguity / distance from the subject, as if the park bench does not matter and it is one of many. An author might describe it in this way to imply a character’s or person’s distance from a setting (metaphorically). So yes it is correct as well, it is just a figurative use of English (very advanced).
Using ‘the’ implies a more tangible existence of the bench, it is ‘the bench’, it is specific, and thus implies more of a permanence. You can say either, depending on what mood you want to portray :)
Aug. 22, 2022
Thanks Frannie for your explanations.
A Cry of Desperation
Yesterday, I received a text message from one of my Russian contacts.
It had been a long time since I had last heard from her.
After the text message, she sent me a voice message.
In the voice message, she told me she needed to speak towith me.
US alternative
That caught me by surprise as we had never spoken before.
Of course, I agreed and this is what happened.
She sat iwas sitting on a park bench.
There was nobody around her.
However, sShe was constantly looking around, however, as if there wasere someone watching her.
Try to avoid beginning a sentence with, "however. Since there's a possibility that someone is watching her but we don't know for certain, we use perfect tense in the second part of the sentence.
She seemed very anxious and frightened.
Although her sunglasses prevented me from seeing her eyes, I could sense something really serious was happening to her.
When she took off her sunglasses, I could see she was crying.
She began to tell me how wrong things were in Russia and particularly in Moscow where she lives.
She had been planning to travel to Italy where she would be meeting withto meet a friend.
However, bBecause the EU is now mulling over stoppending tohe issueing of tourist visas to Russians, however, she can’t carry out her sovery much desired plan.
She kept telling me that Russia had become a cage where she and people who thought like her lived like enclosed animals.
As heartbreaking as that can sound, even more so was when she asked me why did we (Westerners) hate them (Russians) so much?
How can you answer a question like that?
To be honest, I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say.
Of course, I don’t hate Russians.
How am I going toWhy would I do such a thing?
They’re human beings asjust like everyone else.
They aren’t responsible for the invasion Putin carried out by Putin in Ukraine.
Russians feel abandoned by the West because they are the bad guys and Ukrainians are the good guys.
Not only are they living like caged animals, but they are also blamed for the war their government is carrying out in Ukraine.
I told her about what had happened in my country almost filthfty years ago.
How after four decades of dictatorship, Spain had peacefully become a democratic country.
She told me the only way out she saw for her country was for Putin to die.
However, bBoth of us agree, however, that when Putin dies, another president like him, or even worse, will succeed him.
To my mind, Russians are the only ones who can solve this terrible situation.
However, nNot all of them, however, are of the same opinion.
In fact, only those Russians living in big cities, like Moscow or Saint Petersburg, would like to live in a more wWesternised country.
That amounts to just a small percentage of the Russian population.
Feedback
This is very well written. I'm sorry to hear about your friend.
Aug. 20, 2022
Many thanks Mari for taking the time to read and correct my long post. I really appreciate it.
Of course, I agreed, and this is what happenedI met her at the park.
"This is what happened" isn't necessary, as you'll tell us now - but it does work and is correct.
Using "speak" in prior sentences made me think it was a phone call - so I'd say change to to "meet" OR say you met her in the park here.
She sat ion a park bench.
She seemed verreally anxious and frightened.
Just to sound more natural - very is correct.
When she took off her sunglasses, I could see that she was crying.
She began to tell me how wrongbad things were in Russia, and particularly in Moscow where she lives.
However, because the EU is now mulling over stopping tocontemplating no longer issueing tourist visas to Russians, she can’t carry out ther so much desired plan plan she was very much looking forward to.
She kept telling me that Russia had become a cage, where she and people who thought like her lived like enclosed animals.
As heartbreaking as that can sound, even more so wased, it was even more heartbreaking when she asked me why did we (Westerners) hate them (Russians) so much?
How am I going tocould I do such a thing?
They’re human beings as, just like everyone else.
Russians feel abandoned by the West because they are seen as the bad guys, and Ukrainians are the good guys.
I told her about what had happened in my country almost filthfty years ago.
Filthy = dirty
Feedback
Great writing, good job! Very understandable.
I hope your friend is okay, it's a very tough time.
Aug. 19, 2022
Of course, I agreed, and this is what happenedI met her at the park.
We were having a text message exchange on a website for language learners. I didn't meet her at any park. That would have been impossible because she is living in Moscow and I'm living in Madrid. What she asked me was if I could speak with her instead of being text messaging to each other. My answer was “yes.” And that’s what we did. What I tell on my post is what she told me, what I told her, and what I think and feel about what Russians have been enduring since the war broke up.
Aug. 19, 2022
Many thanks Cats for taking the time to read and correct my long post. I really appreciate it.
A Cry of Desperation
Yesterday, I received a text message from one of my Russian contacts.
It had been a long time since I had last heard from her.
After the text message, she sent me a voice message.
In the voice message, she told me she needed to speak to me.
That caught me by surprise as we had never spoken before.
Of course, I agreed and this is what happened. when we met
Just to clarify more and this works to connect the next sentence to this one too
She sat in a park bench.
There was nobody around her.
HoweverDespite that, she was constantly looking around as if there was someone watching her.
It sounds more natural this way
She seemed very anxious and frightened.
Although her sunglasses prevented me from seeing her eyes, I could sense something really serious was happening to her.
When she took off her sunglasses, I could see that she was crying.
She began to tell me how wrongbad things were in Russia and particularly in Moscow where she lives.
She had been planning to travel to Italy where she would be meeting with a friend.
However, because the EU is now mulling over stopping to issuethinking about discontinuing tourist visas to Russians, she can’t carry out her so much desired plan.
She kept telling me that Russia had become a cage where she, and people who thought like her, lived like enclosed animals.
As heartbreaking as that can sounds, even more so was when she asked me why did we (Westerners) hate them (Russians) so much?
How can you answer a question like that?
To be honest, I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say.
Of course, I don’t hate Russians.
How am I going to docould i feel such a thingway ?
This sounds more natural
They’re human beings as everyone else.
They aren’t responsible for the invasion carried out by Putin in Ukraine.
Russians feel abandoned by the West because they are the bad guys and Ukrainians are the good guys.
Not only are they living like caged animals, but they are also blamed for the war their government is carrying out in Ukraine.
I told her about what had happened in my country almost filthfty years ago.
I think this was a keyboard spelling mistake
How after four decades of dictatorship, Spain had peacefully becoame a democratic country.
She told me that the only way out she saw forto get her country out of this wasa for Putin to die.
ToIn my mindopinion, Russians are the only ones who can solve this terrible situation.
However, not all of them share of the same opinion.
In fact, only those Russians living in big cities, like Moscow or Saint Petersburg, would like to live in a more westernised country.
Those is not needed here
That amounts to just a small percentage of the Russian population.
What the remaining Russians want is just food on their plates and a roof over their heads.
Feedback
This was honestly heartbreaking to correct. On one hand i need to focus on the grammar and usage mistakes, on the other hand i sympathize with what you are saying and the girl's situation.
Very good in terms of grammar.
Very emotional in terms of content.
Aug. 19, 2022
Of course, I agreed and this is what happened. when we met
We were having a text message exchange on a website for language learners. What she asked me was if I could speak with her instead of being text messaging to each other. We didn't meet at any place. That would have been difficult because she is living in Moscow and I'm living in Madrid.
Aug. 19, 2022
Many thank Tamara for taking the time to read and correct my long post. I really appreciate it. I use this website to improve my English skills by writing meaningful pieces of writing, or at least, this is what I intend. This is why your last comment is so important for me. Thanks again Tamara.
Aug. 20, 2022
Many thank Tamara for taking the time to read and correct my long post. I really appreciate it. I use this website to improve my English skills by writing meaningful pieces of writing, or at least, this is what I intend. This is why your last comment is so important for me. Thanks again Tamara.
Oh don't mention it :)
My pleasure <3
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A Cry of Desperation This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Yesterday, I received a text message from one of my Russian contacts. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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It had been a long time since I had last heard from her. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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After the text message, she sent me a voice message. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In the voice message, she told me she needed to speak to me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! In the voice message, she told me she needed to speak US alternative In the voice message, she told me she needed to speak ‘With’ is more formal, and your tone comes across as very formal, so I would use this to stay stylistically consistent! ‘To’ is good when you are talking informally :) |
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That caught me by surprise as we had never spoken before. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Of course, I agreed and this is what happened. Of course, I agreed and this is what happened Just to clarify more and this works to connect the next sentence to this one too Of course, I agreed, and "This is what happened" isn't necessary, as you'll tell us now - but it does work and is correct. Using "speak" in prior sentences made me think it was a phone call - so I'd say change to to "meet" OR say you met her in the park here. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She sat in a park bench. This sentence has been marked as perfect! She sat She She sat ‘In’ when referring to objects/places means you are physically inside of it. Correct ways: “She is in the room.” “She is in the hospital.” ‘At’ means you are where the object is, and implies in, but you’re not inside of it: “She sat at the table.” “She was at the telephone booth.” |
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There was nobody around her. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However, she was constantly looking around as if there was someone watching her.
It sounds more natural this way
Try to avoid beginning a sentence with, "however. Since there's a possibility that someone is watching her but we don't know for certain, we use perfect tense in the second part of the sentence. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She seemed very anxious and frightened. This sentence has been marked as perfect! She seemed Just to sound more natural - very is correct. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Although her sunglasses prevented me from seeing her eyes, I could sense something really serious was happening to her. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! Although her sunglasses prevented me from seeing her eyes, I could sense something really serious Pass tense, something serious isn’t happening in the moment that you’re with her (physically happening). |
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When she took of her sunglasses, I could see she was crying. When she took off her sunglasses, I could see that she was crying. When she took off her sunglasses, I could see that she was crying. When she took off her sunglasses, I could see she was crying. When she took off her sunglasses, I could see that she was crying. |
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She began to tell me how wrong things were in Russia and particularly in Moscow where she lives. She began to tell me how She began to tell me how This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She had been planning to travel to Italy where she would be meeting with a friend. This sentence has been marked as perfect! She had been planning to travel to Italy This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However, because the EU is now mulling over stopping to issue tourist visas to Russians, she can’t carry out her so much desired plan. However, because the EU is now However, because the EU is now
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She kept telling me that Russia had become a cage where she and people who thought like her lived like enclosed animals. She kept telling me that Russia had become a cage where she, and people who thought like her, lived like enclosed animals. She kept telling me that Russia had become a cage, where she and people who thought like her lived like enclosed animals. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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As heartbreaking as that can sound, even more so was when she asked me why did we (Westerners) hate them (Russians) so much? As heartbreaking as that As heartbreaking as that This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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How can you answer a question like that? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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To be honest, I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Of course, I don’t hate Russians. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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How am I going to do such a thing? How This sounds more natural How
How |
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They’re human beings as everyone else. This sentence has been marked as perfect! They’re human beings They’re human beings They’re human beings |
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They aren’t responsible for the invasion carried out by Putin in Ukraine. This sentence has been marked as perfect! They aren’t responsible for the invasion Putin carried out This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Russians feel abandoned by the West because they are the bad guys and Ukrainians are the good guys. This sentence has been marked as perfect! Russians feel abandoned by the West because they are seen as the bad guys, and Ukrainians are the good guys. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Not only are they living like caged animals, but they are also blamed for the war their government is carrying out in Ukraine. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I told her about what had happened in my country almost filthy years ago. I told her about what had happened in my country almost fi I think this was a keyboard spelling mistake I told her about what had happened in my country almost fi Filthy = dirty I told her about what had happened in my country almost fi I told her about what had happened in my country almost fi |
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How after four decades of dictatorship, Spain had peacefully become a democratic country. How after four decades of dictatorship, Spain had peacefully bec This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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She told me the only way out she saw for her country was for Putin to die. She told me that the only way This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However, both of us agree that when Putin dies, another president like him, or even worse, will succeed him.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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To my mind, Russians are the only ones who can solve this terrible situation.
This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However, not all of them are of the same opinion. However, not all of them share
This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In fact, only those Russians living in big cities, like Moscow or Saint Petersburg, would like to live in a more westernised country. In fact, only Those is not needed here In fact, only those Russians living in big cities, like Moscow or Saint Petersburg, would like to live in a more This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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That amounts to just a small percentage of the Russian population. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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What the remaining Russians want is just food on their plates and a roof over their heads. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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