yesterday
Random poem that I wrote
“Sunset”
Sunset,
I see you are a friend with the Summer
you reach the most intimate beauty with her.
Making me feel so fearless and free.
Sunset,
What an ephemeral beauty.
Despite the unreachable high
you are unbelievable close to the heart.
Sunset,
My mind cannot forget your shine.
The bright colours of paint in the sky
are forever captured in my mind.
Sunset,
My heart cannot forget your warmth.
The embrace of happiness wrapped around me,
and the ineffable feelings of hope emerged inside of me.
Sunset,
My soul cannot forget your promise.
The honesty of dreams we shared
are already in the roads of story.
Sunset,
Will i see you again?
In the beauty of yours that I used to see.
In the feeling that you used to make me feel.
Sunset,
Will you stay with me?
Not in the moment when you appear,
but in the memory where you live.
Sunset,
Can I make a promise again?
With the words full of loss and pain.
Will you make me feel fearless and free, again?
[I know there are some mistakes, I just want to know where exactly I messed up. I won’t change the poem cuz I like how imperfect it is]
Correction Settings
Random poem that I wrote Random poem that I wrote
“Sunset” “Sunset”
Sunset, Sunset,
I see you are a friend with the Summer
I see you are a friend with Summer
Not exactly a correction, but since you're personifying Sunset and Summer (including via capitalizations), the definite article conflicts with that meaning. I would take it out.
you reach the most intimate beauty with her.
Making me feel so fearless and free.
Sunset,
What an ephemeral beauty.
Despite the unreachable high
you are unbelievabley close to the heart.
you are unbelievably close to the heart.
Sunset,
My mind cannot forget your shine.
The bright colours of paint in the sky
are forever captured in my mind.
Sunset,
My heart cannot forget your warmth.
and the ineffable feelings of hope emerged inside of me.
Sunset,
The honesty of dreams we shared
are already in the roads of story.
Sunset,
Will iI see you again?
Will I see you again?
typo
In the beauty of yours that I used to see.
In the feeling that you used to make me feel.
Sunset,
Will you stay with me?
Not in the moment when you appear,
but in the memory where you live.
Sunset,
Can I make a promise again?
With the words full of loss and pain.
Will you make me feel fearless and free, again?
Feedback
Great work, poems are max difficulty.
I would consider "kindled" instead of "emerged" to play on the idea of ideas arising from the sun/fire. "Emerged" is a bit strange to the English ear in this context; it doesn't exactly match your tone.
Random poem that I wrote
“Sunset”
Sunset,
I see you are a friends with the Summer
I see you are friends with the Summer
you reach the most intimate beauty with her.
Making me feel so fearless and free.
Sunset,
What an ephemeral beauty.
Despite the unreachable high
you are unbelievabley close to the heart.
you are unbelievably close to the heart.
Sunset,
My mind cannot forget your shine.
The bright colours of paint in the sky
are forever captured in my mind.
Sunset,
My heart cannot forget your warmth.
The embrace of happiness wrapped around me,
and the ineffable feelings of hope emerged inside of me.
Sunset,
My soul cannot forget your promise.
The honesty of dreams we shared
are already in the roads of story. are already in the roads of story.
Not quite sure what this should be but it doesn't quite sound correct
Sunset,
Will i see you again?
In the beauty of yours that I used to see.
In the feeling that you used to make me feel.
Sunset,
Will you stay with me?
Not in the moment when you appear,
but in the memory where you live.
Sunset,
Can I make a promise again?
With the words full of loss and pain.
Will you make me feel fearless and free, again?
I won’t change the poem cuz I like how imperfect it is]
Feedback
Very tough to write a poem not using your mother tongue. Well done!!
Random poem that I wrote
“Sunset”
Sunset,
I see you are a friend with the Summer I see you are a friend with the Summer
Totally fine to capitalise summer for effect in a poem! Just wanted to say that in everyday English we don't capitalise seasons. Though I am sure you already know
you reach the most intimate beauty with her.
Making me feel so fearless and free.
Sunset,
Despite the unreachable high Despite the unreachable high
Maybe unreachable "height" would be better here?
A high makes me think more about an emotional or drug-related high
you are unbelievabley close to the heart.
you are unbelievably close to the heart.
Maybe "my" heart, to make it more personal?
Sunset,
My mind cannot forget your shine.
The bright colours of paint in the sky
are forever captured in my mind.
Sunset,
My heart cannot forget your warmth.
The embrace of happiness wrapped around me,
and the ineffable feelings of hope emerged inside of me.
Sunset,
My soul cannot forget your promise.
The honesty of dreams we shared The honesty of dreams we shared
I would say "the" dreams
are already in the roads of story.
Sunset,
Will iI see you again?
Will I see you again?
In the beauty of yours that I used to see.
In the feeling that you used to make me feel.
Sunset,
Will you stay with me?
Not in the moment when you appear,
but in the memory where you live.
Sunset,
Can I make a promise again?
With the words full of loss and pain.
Will you make me feel fearless and free, again?
[I know there are some mistakes, I just want to know where exactly I messed up.
I won’t change the poem cuz I like how imperfect it is]
Feedback
I think it's a bit hard to correct poetry from a purely ESL/language learning point of view, as breaking the rules is very much encouraged in poetry. For a corrector, it would be hard to know exactly what is a mistake and what is something you did on purpose. Your English skills are incredible, though, great work! And the poem is very beautiful :)
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Random poem that I wrote This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! Random poem that I wrote Random poem that I wrote |
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“Sunset” This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! “Sunset” “Sunset” |
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Sunset, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! Sunset, Sunset, |
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I see you are a friend with the Summer I see you are a friend with the Summer I see you are a friend with the Summer Totally fine to capitalise summer for effect in a poem! Just wanted to say that in everyday English we don't capitalise seasons. Though I am sure you already know
I see you are
I see you are a friend with Not exactly a correction, but since you're personifying Sunset and Summer (including via capitalizations), the definite article conflicts with that meaning. I would take it out. |
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you reach the most intimate beauty with her. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Making me feel so fearless and free. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sunset, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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What an ephemeral beauty. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Despite the unreachable high Despite the unreachable high Despite the unreachable high Maybe unreachable "height" would be better here? A high makes me think more about an emotional or drug-related high This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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you are unbelievable close to the heart.
you are unbelievabl Maybe "my" heart, to make it more personal?
you are unbelievabl
you are unbelievabl |
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Sunset, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My mind cannot forget your shine. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The bright colours of paint in the sky This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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are forever captured in my mind. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sunset, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My heart cannot forget your warmth. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The embrace of happiness wrapped around me, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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and the ineffable feelings of hope emerged inside of me. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sunset, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My soul cannot forget your promise. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The honesty of dreams we shared The honesty of dreams we shared The honesty of dreams we shared I would say "the" dreams This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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are already in the roads of story. This sentence has been marked as perfect! are already in the roads of story. are already in the roads of story. Not quite sure what this should be but it doesn't quite sound correct This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sunset, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Will i see you again?
Will This sentence has been marked as perfect!
Will typo |
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In the beauty of yours that I used to see. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In the feeling that you used to make me feel. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sunset, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Will you stay with me? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Not in the moment when you appear, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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but in the memory where you live. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Sunset, This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Can I make a promise again? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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With the words full of loss and pain. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Will you make me feel fearless and free, again? This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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[I know there are some mistakes, I just want to know where exactly I messed up. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I won’t change the poem cuz I like how imperfect it is] This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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