yesterday
Sunset was upset. She tried to calm herself down, but it didn’t end well. She wondered, if there’s somepony who struggled as much as she right now. Hooves touched the grass under her, and no matter how she tried – she couldn’t stop thinking about it, about Celestia’s task; she noticed how sunlight filtered through branches and leaves, wrapping her in warmth. Such a beautiful thing, and Sunset noticed an irony about her and the sun rays – Sunset’s mane symbolized her tendency to made fast decisions and sometimes be mad at someone; the sun emit warmth, just like Sunset, but in other way. She wandered through the park, but still, she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t find a courage to make a friend. How it’s possible to be failed in such easy task? Maybe she should give it another shot.
Sunset's short story
Sunset was upset.
She tried to calm herself down, but it didn’t end wellwork.
"It didn't end well" sounds like something really bad happened because of her attempt.
She wondered, if there’s someanypony who struggleds as much as she is right now.
Her hooves touchrampled the grass under her, and no matter how she tried –, she couldn’t stop thinking about it, about Celestia’s task; she noticed how sunlight filtered through branches and leaves, wrapping her in warmth.
I changed "touched" because it makes it sound like she's just poking the grass, or floating over it and jusr brushing against it. Maybe she's flying? But if she's walking, I suggested an alternate word, which means that she's crushing the grass. You can use other options too.
Such a beautiful thing, and Sunset noticed an irony about her and the sun rays –
Sunset’s mane symbolized her tendency to made fast decisions and sometimes be mad at someonehot-tempered; the sun emitted warmth, just like Sunset, but in other way.s. (or "another way")
"Hot-tempered" means she tends to get angry easily. You can also say "hot-headed".
She wandered through the park, but still, she couldn’t do it,: she couldn’t find athe courage to make a friend.
I put a colon (:) here because it's used to introduce something you were just talking about. It gives more emphasis.
How it’ss it possible to be failed in such an easy task?
When a sentence becomes a question, the word order changes around.
"That how it is." -> "How is it that...?"
Because the word order swapped, you can't write "How it's possible?" but must write "How is it possible?" or "How's it possible?" This is a common stumbling point for English learners :)
Maybe she should give it another shot.
Feedback
Great job! I hope your story goes well :)
|
Sunset's short story This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Sunset was upset. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
She tried to calm herself down, but it didn’t end well. She tried to calm herself down, but it didn’t "It didn't end well" sounds like something really bad happened because of her attempt. |
|
She wondered, if there’s somepony who struggled as much as she right now. She wondered |
|
Hooves touched the grass under her, and no matter how she tried – she couldn’t stop thinking about it, about Celestia’s task; she noticed how sunlight filtered through branches and leaves, wrapping her in warmth. Her hooves t I changed "touched" because it makes it sound like she's just poking the grass, or floating over it and jusr brushing against it. Maybe she's flying? But if she's walking, I suggested an alternate word, which means that she's crushing the grass. You can use other options too. |
|
Such a beautiful thing, and Sunset noticed an irony about her and the sun rays – This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Sunset’s mane symbolized her tendency to made fast decisions and sometimes be mad at someone; the sun emit warmth, just like Sunset, but in other way. Sunset’s mane symbolized her tendency to made fast decisions and sometimes be "Hot-tempered" means she tends to get angry easily. You can also say "hot-headed". |
|
She wandered through the park, but still, she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t find a courage to make a friend. She wandered through the park, but still, she couldn’t do it I put a colon (:) here because it's used to introduce something you were just talking about. It gives more emphasis. |
|
How it’s possible to be failed in such easy task? How i When a sentence becomes a question, the word order changes around. "That how it is." -> "How is it that...?" Because the word order swapped, you can't write "How it's possible?" but must write "How is it possible?" or "How's it possible?" This is a common stumbling point for English learners :) |
|
Maybe she should give it another shot. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
You need LangCorrect Premium to access this feature.
Go Premium