Jack's avatar
Jack

Sept. 29, 2020

0
A road

A road
The fall leaves you can’t see
I have gone through it, so do you
I want to ask for your foot mark
But the mountains and the rivers are all stay silent
I went through the spring
I went through the four seasons
I went through the spring
I went through myself
Quietly
I come here from the past
With wind and rain on my shoulder
And I want to know what I am looking for
I went though the spring
I went through the four seasons
I went through the spring
I went through myself


一条路
  落叶无迹
  走过我走过你
  我想问你的足迹
  山无言水无语
  走过春天
  走过四季
  走过春天
  走过我自己
  悄悄地
  我从过去
  走到了这里
  我双肩驮着风雨
  想知道我的目的
  走过春天
  走过四季
  走过春天
  走过我自已

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A road

Quietly

I come here from the past

And I want to know what I am looking for

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 1, 2020

0

Quietly

I come here from the past

With wind and rain on my shoulder

And I want to know what I am looking for

Jack's avatar
Jack

Sept. 30, 2020

0
nschafer888's avatar
nschafer888

Sept. 30, 2020

0

A road

A road

The fall leaves you can’t see

I went through the spring

I went through the four seasons

I went through the spring

I went through myself

Quietly

With wind and rain on my shoulder

And I want to know what I am looking for

I went though the spring

I went through the four seasons

I went through the spring

I went through myself

Jack's avatar
Jack

Oct. 1, 2020

0

I have gone through it, so do you


I have gone through it, so dohave you I have gone through it, so have you

I have gonewalked through it, so dohave you I walked through it, so have you

What have you gone through? I'm not sure what you are trying to say. Because this is poetry, I'm a bit nervous as my correction might not be what you want to say.

I have gonetravelled through it, so dohave you I have travelled through it, so have you

I want to ask for your foot mark


I want to ask for your foot markprint I want to ask for your footprint

I want to ask for your foot markprint I want to ask for your foot print

Again, it is odd to ask someone for their footprint. The footprint is already on the ground, and is not for anyone to give or to ask for. Not sure what you're trying to say.

But the mountains and the rivers are all stay silent


But the mountains and the rivers are all staymain silent But the mountains and the rivers remain silent

But tThe mountains and the rivers are all stay silent The mountains and the rivers are silent

I don't know why you would start this stanza with "but", as "but" implies you are contrasting something previously mentioned.

But the mountains and the rivers are all stay silent But the mountains and the rivers are all silent

You cannot have both "stay" and "are" together because they are both verbs. Pick whichever you prefer:)

I went through the spring


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I wentalked through the spring I walked through the spring

I wenttravelled through the spring I travelled through the spring

I think the word "travelled" would link better to the title

I went through the four seasons


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I wentalked through the four seasons I walked through the four seasons

I went throughravelled the four seasons I went travelled the four seasons

I went through the spring


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I wentalked through the spring I walked through the spring

Why are you mentioning spring again? So you mean to use a different season?

I wenttravelled through the spring I travelled through the spring

I went through myself


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I went through myself I went through myself

I don't know what you're trying to say. You cannot go through yourself, as that is metaphorically and physically impossible.

I wenttravelled through myself I travelled through myself

The word "travelled" here helps paint a more certain image

Quietly


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I come here from the past


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This sentence has been marked as perfect!

With wind and rain on my shoulder


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This sentence has been marked as perfect!

And I want to know what I am looking for


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I went though the spring


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I wentalked through the spring I walked through the spring

I went travelled through the spring I travelled through the spring

I went through the four seasons


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I wentalked through the four seasons I walked through the four seasons

I wenttravelled through the four seasons I travelled through the four seasons

I went through the spring


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I wentalked through the spring I walked through the spring

I wenttravelled through the spring I travelled through the spring

I went through myself


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

I went through myself I went through myself

Same question as before.

I wenttravelled through myself I travelled through myself

A road


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A rThe Road The Road

When you use "a" instead of "the", it could be any road. If you are thinking of a specific road, then use "the".

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

A road


A road


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

AThe road The road

The fall leaves you can’t see


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The fall leaves that you can’t see The fall leaves that you can’t see

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