July 5, 2021
IELTS Writing Task 2
I'm preparing the IELTS exam. This is my topic, I want some advise. Thank you.
The task:
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
My topic:
Some children maybe always hear the saying: if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want. As a coin has two faces, the saying also has advantages and disadvantages.
The advantages are these. Firstly, it can encourage children to become hard-working. Nowadays, Chinese families have less children than before. So their kids are treasure like diamonds. Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which they should do them by themselves. Secondly, it will help them know that 'no pay no gain'. When I was a kid, I learned riding a bike. I fell so many times and got my leg hurt badly. Finally, I succeed.
The bad influence is following like these. On one hand, not all hard work will get paid, especially when the direction is wrong. There is a Japanese writer said: direction is more important than hard work. For example, if you want to go to east, but you go towards west. You can hardly arrive at your destination in time. On the other hand, there are something just can't exchange equilly, like emotion. Sometimes, emotion is irritional, no matter how hard you try, you can't just reach it. So, if the children believe the saying, someone will get hurt.
In the conclusion, there are not only advantage but also disadvantages of the thought. People shouldn't teach children that if they try hard they can get everything.
Correction Settings
IELTS Writing Task 2
I'm preparing for the IELTS exam. I'm preparing for the IELTS exam.
This is my topic, I want some advisce.
This is my topic, I want some advice.
Thank you.
The task:
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
My topic:
Some children maybe always hear the saying: if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want. Some children maybe always hear the saying: if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want.
This might sound better:
Maybe some children always hear the saying: if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want.
As a coin has two faces, the saying also has advantages and disadvantages.
The advantages are these. The advantages are these.
一般来说你也可以用一个冒号作一个列表结构
The advantages are these:
Firstly,......
Secondly,......
Finally,....
Firstly, it can encourage children to become more hard-working. Firstly, it can encourage children to become more hard-working.
Nowadays, Chinese families have less children than before.
So their kids are treasure like diamonds. So their kids are treasure like diamonds.
这个更流畅：
So their kids are precious like diamonds.
Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which they should do them bybe doing themselves.
Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which they should be doing themselves.
Secondly, it will help them know that 'no pay no gain'. Secondly, it will help them know that 'no pay no gain'.
Secondly, it will help them understand the concept of 'no pay no gain'.
When I was a kid, I learned ridinghow to ride a bike.
When I was a kid, I learned how to ride a bike
I fell so many times and got my leg hurtby the end, my leg was injured really badly.
I fell so many times and by the end, my leg was injured really badly.
The bad influence is following like these. The bad influence is following like these.
也许你是想写 "Some bad influence include the following: " ?
On one hand, not all hard work will get paidyield results, especially when the direction is wrong.
On one hand, not all hard work will yield results, especially when the direction is wrong.
There is a Japanese writer that once said: direction is more important than hard work. There is a Japanese writer that once said: direction is more important than hard work.
For example, if you want to go to east, but you go towardsinstead go west.
For example, if you want to go to east, but instead go west.
You can hardly arrive at your destination in time. You can hardly arrive at your destination in time.
It would be very difficult to arrive at your destination in time.
On the other hand, there are some things that just can't be exchanged equially, like such as emotions.
On the other hand, there are some things that just can't be exchanged equally such as emotions.
Sometimes, emotion is irriational, no matter how hard you try, you just can't just reachgrasp it.
Sometimes, emotion is irrational, no matter how hard you try, you just can't grasp it.
So, if the children believe the saying, someone will get hurt.
So if the children believe the saying, someone will get hurt.
也可以写成： So if children believe in the saying, someone will get eventually be harmed。
In the conclusion, there are not only advantage butwhile there certainly are advantages, there are also disadvantages tof theis thought (idea).
In conclusion, while there certainly are advantages, there are also disadvantages to this thought (idea).
People shouldn't teach children that if they try hard they can get everything.
July 5, 2021
Nice topic! If you have any further questions, feel free to ask me.
July 5, 2021
The advantages are these.
一般来说你也可以用一个冒号作一个列表结构
The advantages are these:
Firstly,......
Secondly,......
Finally,....
我本来想用冒号，但是因为比较少在其他文章见到，所以不太确定英语文章中能否使用。
July 5, 2021
So their kids are treasure like diamonds.
这个更流畅：
So their kids are precious like diamonds.
我好像用错了treasure，它是名词或者动词，我当成形容词了。
July 5, 2021
Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which they should do them bybe doing themselves.
我想表达的是家长做了孩子们本该做的事情，不太理解should be doing 的用法诶，能麻烦你再解释一下吗？谢谢！
July 5, 2021
When I was a kid, I learned ridinghow to ride a bike.
我本来这么写的，后来又改了~
July 5, 2021
I fell so many times and got my leg hurtby the end, my leg was injured really badly.
really后面的. 应该去掉吧？
July 5, 2021
The bad influence is following like these.
也许你是想写 "Some bad influence include the following: " ?
我想表达的是“缺点如下：”，但是因为上面用了太多disadvantage，又想不到别的词，所以只好用bad influence。
July 5, 2021
我本来想用冒号，但是因为比较少在其他文章见到，所以不太确定英语文章中能否使用。
能理解，冒号却是用的少。
July 5, 2021
我好像用错了treasure，它是名词或者动词，我当成形容词了。
Ohh 我好想明白你的意思。你其实可以说：
So their kids are treasured (treasure: 动词）
So their kids are treasured like diamonds (treasure: 动词）
July 5, 2021
Ohh 我好想明白你的意思。你其实可以说： So their kids are treasured (treasure: 动词） So their kids are treasured like diamonds (treasure: 动词）
oh, yes, that is what I mean
July 5, 2021
我想表达的是家长做了孩子们本该做的事情，不太理解should be doing 的用法诶，能麻烦你再解释一下吗？谢谢！
"they should be doing themselves" 应该是 "they should be doing by themselves" 简缩版。经常在写或说话中会去掉 "by"
July 5, 2021
"they should be doing themselves" 应该是 "they should be doing by themselves" 简缩版。经常在写或说话中会去掉 "by"
why isn't it "done" but"doing"?
July 5, 2021
really后面的. 应该去掉吧？
really 或者 very 是在强调 injured badly的程度 (how badly did you hurt your leg? I hurt it really/very badly).
有 really/very 更自然。
当然，这以下的写法都可以：
1. I fell so many times and by the end my leg was injured really badly.
2. I fell so many times and by the end my leg was injured very badly.
3. I fell so many times and by the end my leg was injured very badly.
4. I fell so many times and by the end my leg was injured pretty badly.
pretty 跟really/very 用法相似，都是 "很“ 的意思，但没 really/very 那么严重。闲聊时候经常会听到人家用 "pretty"：
"The other day, I was riding my bike and fell. My leg was injured pretty badly, but fortunately it healed within a week"
July 5, 2021
我想表达的是“缺点如下：”，但是因为上面用了太多disadvantage，又想不到别的词，所以只好用bad influence。
Got it, 我懂你意思。我觉得你完全可以用disadvantage。 你上面只用了一次。
1. Here are some of the disadvantages.
2. There are some disadvantages to this way of thinking.
3. However, there are disadvantages to this way of thinking too.
（way of thinking = "if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want" 这个想法）
如果disadvantages 真的用了太多，你也可以用 "negative consquences" 来代替它。
July 5, 2021
why isn't it "done" but"doing"?
"done" is past tense (过去时）, which doesn't make sense in this sentence since the entire sentence seems to be in present tense.
In the first half of the sentence you have: "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them ..... "
This is written in present tense since you write ".... do many things ...." not "done many things".
It would make sense for the second half of the sentence to also be in present tense: ".... which they should be doing themselves" and not ".... which they should be done themselves".
这里具体的语法基础我不知道怎么解释。虽然英语是我的母语，但我不是英语老师，所以很多语法规矩是由长期看书、听说、得到的。
If there's a English teacher reading this, feel free to explain this more in depth!
July 6, 2021
"done" is past tense (过去时）, which doesn't make sense in this sentence since the entire sentence seems to be in present tense. In the first half of the sentence you have: "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them ..... " This is written in present tense since you write ".... do many things ...." not "done many things". It would make sense for the second half of the sentence to also be in present tense: ".... which they should be doing themselves" and not ".... which they should be done themselves". 这里具体的语法基础我不知道怎么解释。虽然英语是我的母语，但我不是英语老师，所以很多语法规矩是由长期看书、听说、得到的。 If there's a English teacher reading this, feel free to explain this more in depth!
I think the sentence is wrong.
"Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which should be done by themselves." The subordinate clause is passive voice, so I use the word"done".
July 6, 2021
I think the sentence is wrong. "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which should be done by themselves." The subordinate clause is passive voice, so I use the word"done".
It's possible that it does make sense grammatically, but when spoken/written out it sounds a bit weird in my opinion. I don't hear people using this version often. I've seen a lot of people say/write "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which they should be doing by themselves." whereas "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which should be done by themselves." I hear less often. That's just my personal experience.
I'd say if "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which should be done by themselves." makes more sense to you, then feel free to disregard my correction and go with the grammatically correct version.
July 6, 2021
It's possible that it does make sense grammatically, but when spoken/written out it sounds a bit weird in my opinion. I don't hear people using this version often. I've seen a lot of people say/write "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which they should be doing by themselves." whereas "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which should be done by themselves." I hear less often. That's just my personal experience. I'd say if "Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which should be done by themselves." makes more sense to you, then feel free to disregard my correction and go with the grammatically correct version.
I ask the question in(or on?) the Internet, a friend reply like this: Your version is grammatically correct, though a more “authentic” version would be “their parents and grandparents [are] always doing things ….”
Or, more succinctly, “are mollycoddling them.
So, I need to work hard to expand my lexis.
Thanks again!
July 6, 2021
(on the internet)
And no problem! The Internet friend's response should be correct. I think your version is grammatically correct, it's just that there are a lot of variations in how it's written in real life. Keep on reading/writing and improving! 加油
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There is a Japanese writer said: direction is more important than hard work. There is a Japanese writer that once said: direction is more important than hard work. There is a Japanese writer that once said: direction is more important than hard work. |
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IELTS Writing Task 2 This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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I'm preparing the IELTS exam. I'm preparing for the IELTS exam. I'm preparing for the IELTS exam. |
|
This is my topic, I want some advise.
This is my topic, I want some advi |
|
Thank you. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The task: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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My topic: This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Some children maybe always hear the saying: if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want. Some children maybe always hear the saying: if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want. Some children maybe always hear the saying: if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want. This might sound better: Maybe some children always hear the saying: if you work hard enough, you can get whatever you want. |
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As a coin has two faces, the saying also has advantages and disadvantages. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The advantages are these. The advantages are these. The advantages are these. 一般来说你也可以用一个冒号作一个列表结构 The advantages are these: Firstly,...... Secondly,...... Finally,.... |
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Firstly, it can encourage children to become hard-working. Firstly, it can encourage children to become more hard-working. Firstly, it can encourage children to become more hard-working. |
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Nowadays, Chinese families have less children than before. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
So their kids are treasure like diamonds. So their kids are treasure like diamonds. So their kids are treasure like diamonds. 这个更流畅： So their kids are precious like diamonds. |
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Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which they should do them by themselves.
Their parents or grandparents always do many things for them which they should |
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Secondly, it will help them know that 'no pay no gain'. Secondly, it will help them know that 'no pay no gain'. Secondly, it will help them know that 'no pay no gain'. Secondly, it will help them understand the concept of 'no pay no gain'. |
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When I was a kid, I learned riding a bike.
When I was a kid, I learned |
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I fell so many times and got my leg hurt badly.
I fell so many times and |
|
Finally, I succeed. |
|
The bad influence is following like these. The bad influence is following like these. The bad influence is following like these. 也许你是想写 "Some bad influence include the following: " ? |
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On one hand, not all hard work will get paid, especially when the direction is wrong.
On one hand, not all hard work will |
|
For example, if you want to go to east, but you go towards west.
For example, if you want to go to east, but |
|
You can hardly arrive at your destination in time. You can hardly arrive at your destination in time. You can hardly arrive at your destination in time. It would be very difficult to arrive at your destination in time. |
|
On the other hand, there are something just can't exchange equilly, like emotion.
On the other hand, there are some things that just can't be exchanged equ |
|
Sometimes, emotion is irritional, no matter how hard you try, you can't just reach it.
Sometimes, emotion is irr |
|
So, if the children believe the saying, someone will get hurt.
So 也可以写成： So if children believe in the saying, someone will get eventually be harmed。 |
|
In the conclusion, there are not only advantage but also disadvantages of the thought.
In |
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People shouldn't teach children that if they try hard they can get everything. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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