June 1, 2021
What did you want to grow up to be when you were a child?
When I was a child, the adults at home or at school were all about, what job we children wanted to do in the future. Some children were able to answer directly to this question with a lot of assurance. "I want to be a vet, because I love animals", or "I want to be a firefighter, as firefighters are all very brave and drive a cool red car" were typical answers I could hear these times. But as far as I was concerned, I did not have such beautiful ideas.
The adults tend then to insist, until I said something. I did not want to upset them, so I told them that I wanted to be a painter. Of course, I liked to draw, so my answer was inspired by that. But the truth is, that I could not once imagine myself as an adult who would have enough self-trust to be able to present paintings to the public. I was indeed very shy.
The only idea I had was about were I wanted to live. I would have dream to live nearby the ocean, in order to be able everyday to watch the waves colliding against the granite rocks and hear the crazy seagulls' screams. My wish did not change and I still crave nowadays for the ocean. However I was forced to make other choices in life. Writing about what the child I was wanted, reminds me of this. I definitely have to move on in the future. Hopefully I will !
Correction Settings
What did you want to grow up to be when you were a child?
When I was a child, the adults at home or at school were all about,ways asking what job we children wanted to do in the future.
When I was a child, the adults at home or at school were always asking what job we children wanted to do in the future.
Some children were able to answer directly to this question with a lot of assuraconfidence.
Some children were able to answer directly to this question with a lot of confidence.
"Assurance" is close but not the best fit here, maybe use "confidence"!
"I want to be a vet, because I love animals", or "I want to be a firefighter, as firefighters are all very brave and drive a cool red car" were typical answers I could hear these times.
"I want to be a vet, because I love animals", or "I want to be a firefighter, as firefighters are all very brave and drive a cool red car" were typical answers I could hear.
just a bit awkward, maybe remove this last bit.
But as far as I was concerned, I did not have such beautiful ideas.
The adults tended then to insist, until I said something. The adults tended then to insist, until I said something.
A more natural suggestion:
"The adults then tended to continue asking, until I said something."
I did not want to upset them, so I told them that I wanted to be a painter.
Of course, I liked to draw, so my answer was inspired by that.
But the truth is, that I could not once imagine myself as an adult who would have enough self-trust to be able to present paintings to the public.
But the truth is that I could not imagine myself as an adult who would have enough self-trust to be able to present paintings to the public.
Note: "self-trust" seems like it would be fine, but it's more common to say "self-confidence" or "self-conviction".
I was indeed very shy.
The only idea I had was about where I wanted to live. The only idea I had was about where I wanted to live.
I would have a dream to live nearby the ocean, in order to be able everyday to watch the waves colliding against the granite rocks and hear the crazy seagulls' screams every day.
I would have a dream to live nearby the ocean, in order to be able to watch the waves colliding against the granite rocks and hear the crazy seagulls' screams every day.
"Everyday" is an adjective meaning something common (like "an everyday meal"); you should use "every day" in your sentence. I think the original position of it in your sentence is also a little awkward. (Also, this is a lovely dream!)
My wish did not change and I still crave nowadays for the ocean.
However, I was forced to make other choices in life. However, I was forced to make other choices in life.
If you start a sentence with "However", you should add a comma. It flows better too!
Writing about what the child I was wanted,dreams I had as a child reminds me of this.
Writing about what dreams I had as a child reminds me of this.
I definitely have to move on in the future.
Hopefully I will !
Hopefully I will!
Feedback
Great job, I completely relate to what you wrote up above! In fact, my entry for this 6/1 prompt is very similar to yours, haha. When I was a kid, I also felt like other kids were more confident and bold about their dream jobs. I also like to draw, but I don't have any confidence about it as a job. I hope you get to enjoy more time by the sea in the future... somewhere!
June 2, 2021
Thank you for your correction and your nice comment. I see that I have to learn how to employ the word "confidence", Ahah ! I hope we both find it. Writing in a foreign language is already a nice step :)
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What did you want to grow up to be when you were a child? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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When I was a child, the adults at home or at school were all about, what job we children wanted to do in the future.
When I was a child, the adults at home or at school were al |
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Some children were able to answer directly to this question with a lot of assurance.
Some children were able to answer directly to this question with a lot of "Assurance" is close but not the best fit here, maybe use "confidence"! |
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"I want to be a vet, because I love animals", or "I want to be a firefighter, as firefighters are all very brave and drive a cool red car" were typical answers I could hear these times.
"I want to be a vet, because I love animals", or "I want to be a firefighter, as firefighters are all very brave and drive a cool red car" were typical answers I could hear just a bit awkward, maybe remove this last bit. |
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But as far as I was concerned, I did not have such beautiful ideas. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The adults tend then to insist, until I said something. The adults tended then to insist, until I said something. The adults tended then to insist, until I said something. A more natural suggestion: "The adults then tended to continue asking, until I said something." |
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I did not want to upset them, so I told them that I wanted to be a painter. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
Of course, I liked to draw, so my answer was inspired by that. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
|
But the truth is, that I could not once imagine myself as an adult who would have enough self-trust to be able to present paintings to the public.
But the truth is Note: "self-trust" seems like it would be fine, but it's more common to say "self-confidence" or "self-conviction". |
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I was indeed very shy. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The only idea I had was about were I wanted to live. The only idea I had was about where I wanted to live. The only idea I had was about where I wanted to live. |
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I would have dream to live nearby the ocean, in order to be able everyday to watch the waves colliding against the granite rocks and hear the crazy seagulls' screams.
I would have a dream to live nearby the ocean, in order to be able "Everyday" is an adjective meaning something common (like "an everyday meal"); you should use "every day" in your sentence. I think the original position of it in your sentence is also a little awkward. (Also, this is a lovely dream!) |
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My wish did not change and I still crave nowadays for the ocean. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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However I was forced to make other choices in life. However, I was forced to make other choices in life. However, I was forced to make other choices in life. If you start a sentence with "However", you should add a comma. It flows better too! |
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Writing about what the child I was wanted, reminds me of this.
Writing about what |
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I definitely have to move on in the future. This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Hopefully I will !
Hopefully I will |
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