His father was also a doctor, and from a young age he grew up seeing people suffering from illness and injuries. Yes, correct. I probably would have said, "... and from a young age, he witnessed people's suffering from illness and injuries". "from a young age" and "grew up" is a bit redundant here. In formal English, it's common to use the possessive before gerunds, such as "I was disturbed by his suffering" or "I appreciate your telling me about this." His father was also a doctor, and from a young age he grew up seeing people suffering from illness and injuries. Yes, correct. I probably would have said, "... and from a young age, he witnessed people's suffering from illness and injuries". "from a young age" and "grew up" is a bit redundant here. In formal English, it's common to use the possessive before gerunds, such as "I was disturbed by his suffering" or "I appreciate your telling me about this."

At the age of 23, he went to Kyoto to study medicine. Yes, good. At the age of 23, he went to Kyoto to study medicine. Yes, good.

There, he learned both traditional Chinese medicine, known as kampo, which uses herbs to treat illness, and Western medicine, which aims to cure disease through surgery. There, he learned both traditional Chinese medicine, known as kampo, which uses herbs to treat illness, and Western medicine, which aims to cure disease through surgery.

Please capitalise "Kampo" since it's a proper noun. Nice use of commas before non-restrictive relative clauses with "which". Since you are an advanced writer, you can practice grammatical balancing of clauses: A, which uses herbs ... , and B, which focuses on surgery ... , and similar. It's just a stylistic device, but I wanted to mention it since you are clearly advanced.

He learned that Chinese doctors used anesthesia so that patients would not feel pain during surgery. Yes, perfect. He learned that Chinese doctors used anesthesia so that patients would not feel pain during surgery. Yes, perfect.

Wanting to know whether anesthesia truly worked, his mother and his wife volunteered to become test subjects. No. The "Wanting to know ... " here is a "dangling participle" because the subject of the participle "wanting" must be the subject of the main clause. Therefore, you must say. "Wanting to know .... , *he* agreed to allow his mother and wife to volunteer as test subjects" (as an example). Wanting to know whether anesthesia truly worked, his mother and his wife volunteered to become test subjects. No. The "Wanting to know ... " here is a "dangling participle" because the subject of the participle "wanting" must be the subject of the main clause. Therefore, you must say. "Wanting to know .... , *he* agreed to allow his mother and wife to volunteer as test subjects" (as an example).

As a result, his mother passed away, and his wife lost her eyesight. Yes. I would say, "As a result of his (careless) experience ... " (I'm not sure exactly what happened, so I have to guess that the surgeries went terribly wrong for some reason.) As a result, his mother passed away, and his wife lost her eyesight. Yes. I would say, "As a result of his (careless) experience ... " (I'm not sure exactly what happened, so I have to guess that the surgeries went terribly wrong for some reason.)

As a result, his mother passed away, and his wife lost her eyesight. As a result, his mother passed away, and his wife lost her eyesight.

How horrifying...

In 1804, he successfully performed the world’s first surgery under general anesthesia. Yes. In 1804, he successfully performed the world’s first surgery under general anesthesia. Yes.

It is thanks to people like him that modern medicine exists today. Yes, or "It is because of people like Hanaoka Seishu that modern medicine exists today." It is thanks to people like him that modern medicine exists today. Yes, or "It is because of people like Hanaoka Seishu that modern medicine exists today."

I did not write this journal simply because I want to feel proud that the first person to perform surgery under general anesthesia was a fellow Japanese. Okay. I think you might just be commenting here, so I don't know if I should edit this. But I would have said, "This entry is not intended to focus on a fellow Japanese person who was the first to perform surgery under general anaesthesia, but rather to demonstrate admiration for those who ... " I did not write this journal simply because I want to feel proud that the first person to perform surgery under general anesthesia was a fellow Japanese. Okay. I think you might just be commenting here, so I don't know if I should edit this. But I would have said, "This entry is not intended to focus on a fellow Japanese person who was the first to perform surgery under general anaesthesia, but rather to demonstrate admiration for those who ... "

I did not write this journal simply because I want to feel proud that the first person to perform surgery under general anesthesia was a fellow Japanese countryman. I did not write this journal simply because I want to feel proud that the first person to perform surgery under general anesthesia was a fellow Japanese countryman.

Nationalities that end in -ese, -ish, and probably some others, aren't used as standalone nouns, only adjectives. So you have to add "person" or some other noun after it: Japanese person, Swedish person, etc. (I chose "countryman" because "person" sounds a little awkward here, and "national" and "citizen" aren't quite right either). An exception being that you can say "The Japanese," "The English," etc. to refer to the people as a whole. Actually, some people perceive calling someone "a Japanese" without adding "person" offensive; since it seems like you remove the "person" part intentionally, it can sound dehumanizing.

I did not write this journal simply because I want to feel proud that the first person to perform surgery under general anesthesia was a fellow Japanese person. I did not write this journal simply because I want to feel proud that the first person to perform surgery under general anesthesia was a fellow Japanese person.

Usually you want to say "a Japanese person", "a French person", "a Chinese person", etc., though there are exceptions like "an American". Leaving it as just "a fellow Japanese" can be seen as rude or offensive.

Rather, I am deeply impressed by those who aspire to become doctors—people who spend years studying, paying high tuition, and living without any guarantee that they will succeed. I would recommend creating a new sentence for the idea after the dash. You can use something like "Such people" as a subject. Example (with short sentences here): "I admire doctors. Such people spend a great deal of time and money to pursue a profession that has no guarantee of success." Rather, I am deeply impressed by those who aspire to become doctors—people who spend years studying, paying high tuition, and living without any guarantee that they will succeed. I would recommend creating a new sentence for the idea after the dash. You can use something like "Such people" as a subject. Example (with short sentences here): "I admire doctors. Such people spend a great deal of time and money to pursue a profession that has no guarantee of success."

Rather, I am deeply impressed by those who aspire to become doctors—people who spend years studying, paying high tuition, and livinge without any guarantee that they will succeed. Rather, I am deeply impressed by those who aspire to become doctors—people who spend years studying, pay high tuition, and live without any guarantee that they will succeed.

Not only in medicine, but in any field, studying is something that ultimately helps others. Okay. I might have written: "Those who arduously pursue their studies, whether in medicine or in other fields, ultimately benefit society as a whole." Not only in medicine, but in any field, studying is something that ultimately helps others. Okay. I might have written: "Those who arduously pursue their studies, whether in medicine or in other fields, ultimately benefit society as a whole."

With that in mind, I want to continue studying English. I hope you do! Your writing is excellent and quite advanced. I am merely offering some alternative wording here that you should feel free to modify or reject altogether. You are doing great. With that in mind, I want to continue studying English. I hope you do! Your writing is excellent and quite advanced. I am merely offering some alternative wording here that you should feel free to modify or reject altogether. You are doing great.

Hanaoka Seishu （華岡青洲）was a doctor who became the first in the world to successfully perform surgery using general anesthesia. (Yes, looks perfect!) (An alternative spelling is anaesthesia.) Hanaoka Seishu （華岡青洲）was a doctor who became the first in the world to successfully perform surgery using general anesthesia. (Yes, looks perfect!) (An alternative spelling is anaesthesia.)