yesterday
Why I started learning English
Because I'm blackstar, I'm a big fan of Avril Lavigne. The first time I knew about her was in a TV advertising, It's iced tea advertising.
At that moment, I was completely obsessd with her. why's a girl so young so cool, and everything doing so great!
and that summer, I drank a lot of iced tea.
And for now, I still love her, and waiting her new album, no offence, as long as she is happy, I am happy too.
That's why I started learning English, to understand her songs and different cultures.
因为我是blackstar！我是艾薇儿的粉丝，第一次知道她是在冰红茶的广告上，她一瞬间就击中了我，怎么会有一个女生这么青春这么酷一切都超级棒的！
于是我那个夏天喝了很多冰红茶
现在我依然很喜欢艾薇儿，并且等待她的新专辑，但是没关系，只要天天她开心就行。
这就是为什么我开始学习英语，想理解她的歌词和不同的文化～
Correction Settings
Why I started learning English
Because I'm blackstar, I'm a big fan of Avril Lavigne.
The first time I knew aboutsaw her was in a TV advertising, It'sement, It was an iced tea advertisingement.
The first time I saw her was in a TV advertisement, It was an iced tea advertisement.
You could also say "I found out about her from" or "discovered her in" a TV ad. Most people would shorten 'advertisement' to 'ad', but advertisement is fine if you're being very formal.
At that momenfter that, I was completely obsessed with her.
After that, I was completely obsessed with her.
You could also say "At that moment, I became completely obsessed with her".
why'sHow is there a girl so young, so cool, and doing everything doing so great!?
How is there a girl so young, so cool, and doing everything so great!?
I'm not 100% what you meant to say here. 'Great' works here for casual speech, but should be changed to an adverb for a more formal setting. Something like 'well', or 'amazingly'.
aAnd that summer, I drank a lot of iced tea.
And that summer, I drank a lot of iced tea.
This made me laugh.
And for now, I still love her, and am waiting her new album, no offence, a. As long as she is happy, I am happy too.
And for now, I still love her, and am waiting her new album. As long as she is happy, I am happy too.
"No offence" feels off here. It means "I don't want to upset you, but..." Is that what you meant? I would replace it with "To be honest," or just drop it completely.
That's why I started learning English, to understand her songs and different cultures.
Feedback
Aside from the one sentence, this was easy to understand. Your writing doesn't feel stilted or awkward at all, which is hard to get right in a second language. Good work!
today
why'sHow is there a girl so young, so cool, and doing everything doing so great!?
I'm not 100% what you meant to say here. 'Great' works here for casual speech, but should be changed to an adverb for a more formal setting. Something like 'well', or 'amazingly'.
I want to say that she was so young and so talented.
Yeah, when I was writing, some casual words just came to my mind. •﹏•
today
And for now, I still love her, and am waiting her new album, no offence, a. As long as she is happy, I am happy too.
"No offence" feels off here. It means "I don't want to upset you, but..." Is that what you meant? I would replace it with "To be honest," or just drop it completely.
Yes, I didn't mean to put any pressure on her. Thanks for understanding!
today
Thank you so much! I learned a lot. My writing style is a bit informal, but I'll improve it!
Why I started learning English
Because I'm blackstar, I'm a big fan of Avril Lavigne. Because I'm blackstar, I'm a big fan of Avril Lavigne.
Blackstar?
The first time I knewfound out about her was in a TV advertising, It's iced tea advertisingement for iced tea.
The first time I found out about her was in a TV advertisement for iced tea.
AtFrom that moment, I was completely obsessed with her.
From that moment, I was completely obsessed with her.
whyHow's a girl so young so cool, and everything doingshe does so great!
How's a girl so young so cool, and everything she does so great!
aAnd that summer, I drank a lot of iced tea.
And that summer, I drank a lot of iced tea.
Ands for now, I still love her, and am waiting her new album, and no offence, as long as she is happy, I am happy too.
As for now, I still love her and am waiting her new album, and no offence, as long as she is happy, I am happy too.
"no offence" seems out of place here.
It would make more sense if you were to say something like "I still love her and am waiting for her new album, and no offence but even though it's probably going to be a bad one, as long as she's happy, I'm happy too."
That's why I started learning English, to understand her songs and different cultures.
today
Because I'm blackstar, I'm a big fan of Avril Lavigne.
Blackstar?
Oh, I forgot to capitalize it.
today
Ands for now, I still love her, and am waiting her new album, and no offence, as long as she is happy, I am happy too.
"no offence" seems out of place here.
It would make more sense if you were to say something like "I still love her and am waiting for her new album, and no offence but even though it's probably going to be a bad one, as long as she's happy, I'm happy too."
Thank you very much! Yes, my point was no matter what, I still love her. •◡•
today
Yw! Actually, I was wondering what Blackstar is? xD When I look it up, I just see the David Bowie album and stuff.
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Because I'm blackstar, I'm a big fan of Avril Lavigne. Because I'm blackstar, I'm a big fan of Avril Lavigne. Because I'm blackstar, I'm a big fan of Avril Lavigne. Blackstar? This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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The first time I knew about her was in a TV advertising, It's iced tea advertising.
The first time I
The first time I You could also say "I found out about her from" or "discovered her in" a TV ad. Most people would shorten 'advertisement' to 'ad', but advertisement is fine if you're being very formal. |
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At that moment, I was completely obsessd with her.
A You could also say "At that moment, I became completely obsessed with her". |
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why's a girl so young so cool, and everything doing so great!
I'm not 100% what you meant to say here. 'Great' works here for casual speech, but should be changed to an adverb for a more formal setting. Something like 'well', or 'amazingly'. |
|
and that summer, I drank a lot of iced tea.
This made me laugh. |
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And for now, I still love her, and waiting her new album, no offence, as long as she is happy, I am happy too.
A "no offence" seems out of place here. It would make more sense if you were to say something like "I still love her and am waiting for her new album, and no offence but even though it's probably going to be a bad one, as long as she's happy, I'm happy too."
And for now, I still love her, and am waiting her new album "No offence" feels off here. It means "I don't want to upset you, but..." Is that what you meant? I would replace it with "To be honest," or just drop it completely. |
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That's why I started learning English, to understand her songs and different cultures. This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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Why I started learning English This sentence has been marked as perfect! This sentence has been marked as perfect! |
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