buntaro's avatar
buntaro

March 8, 2021

0
I plan to go to New York

I want to go to Carmine Street Guitars. It's a guitar shop that makes guitars out of scrap wood from demolished local buildings in New York. If I find a nice guitar in the shop, I might buy it.

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I plan to go to New York

I want to go to Carmine Street Guitars.

It's a guitar shop that makes guitars out of scrap wood from demolished local buildings in New York.

If I find a nice guitar in the shop, I might buy it.

I plan to go to New York

I want to go to Carmine Street Guitars.

If I find a nice guitar in the shop, I might buy it.

osamu's avatar
osamu

March 9, 2021

0

I plan to go to New York


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I want to go to Carmine Street Guitars.


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It's a guitar shop that makes guitars out of scrap wood from demolished local buildings in New York.


It's a guitar shop in New York, that makes guitars out of scrap wood from demolished local buildings in New Yorkthat have been demolished. It's a guitar shop in New York, that makes guitars out of scrap wood from local buildings that have been demolished.

Only a suggested re-phrasing, not a correction. It's not wrong, but "demolished local buildings in New York" reads awkwardly to me. You can pile up adjectives together like that, but sometimes it's better to avoid it... perhaps especially so if one of them is a participle.

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

If I find a nice guitar in the shop, I might buy it.


This sentence has been marked as perfect!

This sentence has been marked as perfect!

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